JimJim

I don't have to explain what it's like for folks here, you know. How can it be worse than drinking 6 litres of cider a day, morning 'till night? Well, it's getting worse. I'm losing myself, I feel like all of my character is disappearing, time is cheap to me. I was once a confident young man and I didn't even know it then, in comparison to this. I am a wreck of a human being, I am at the end of my wits and I know it. I feel disgusting just for posting this, such is may lack of self worth.

Dee74

I know the way you're feeling JimJim...it ended up I thought my one and only purpose in life was to empty bottles of liquor down my throat.

I was less of a human being than a receptacle for booze.

There is another way - living not simply existing.

what are you doing for your recovery?
D

JimJim

Oh dear, It's so good to read your comforting words and wisdom again Dee. I have really missed this place.

Dee74

coming back here is a good start Jim
I hope you'll think more about things to do tho - it's so easy to drown in despair...

find more support, mate, more things to do for your recovery...it really is key

D

Pondlady

Hey JimJim,
It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry you're struggling, as you know, this place is a Godsend.

Wastinglife

Hi JimJim,
After throwing away my life for the booze, I also feel like a shell of a person. Ten years ago my life was great and I was happy with myself. I'm not sure what happened to that man. I am also struggling with issues of self-worth as I try to build my life back. If it's any comfort, know that you are not the only one with these feelings.

13unluckyforsom

Hi jim - you came to the right place - I hope you manage to get help to stop drinking. There's no one on this planet who is worthless and don't be thinking of yourself like that. Sure your in a bad place - I get it - it's bloody horrible but you can get through this. If its what you really want?

MeSoSober

Stay with us, JimJim! A better, brighter future awaits than your present nightmare. Is there anything at all you can do today to take a step away from the booze and in the right direction?

Want to hug you right now!

Hevyn

Glad to see you again Jim! Please don't be disgusted with yourself. It's very difficult to own up to what's been happening and come here to talk about it. I think you should be proud for reaching out.

We're all with you Jim - and we understand like others can't. We're a family here, and we want to help. Please keep posting and talking it over - you can find your way out of this and have a beautiful new life. You can get free.

Obladi

JimJim, I know it can get worse and that's a frightening thought, indeed. Seems like it's even more frightening sometimes to have hope that it can get better, eh? But I believe it can. For both of us.

Once again, you've drawn me right out of the shadows into posting when I'm full afraid that I'm going to feel the pain and shame of slipping right back into the abyss we both well know. It gives me hope to see that you still want to try, JimJim. Please try harder. You have worth to me.

quitforme79

Nice to see you back here!! If we can do it you certainly can. Stick around and remember we are here for you!

Renarde

It hurts to see how bad you are feeling - I can feel it in your words. You are among people who understand and want you to feel good again.

Itchy

You are right. We know, been there, felt that. It was bad enough that many of us here now also share the relief of long term sobriety and the cessation of obsessing about alcohol. I hope you can share that with me too whenever you are ready. Bad as it sounds, I could not quit for good one minute, hour, or day, before I was ready to be through with it forever.

It was miserable, and irrational, my drinking over my inability to stop drinking. I think that until I was ready to put it out of my life for good,to save my life, my life stayed at greater risk by the day.

I am recovered. No, that does not mean I can handle even one drink ever. It just means I believe I won't. Rationally.

Hope you get rational sooner than later.

Mountainmanbob

Marcher13

Jim I think of you every day, when I see your name here I am so glad. I owe you, you started the March 2013 thread, I will never forget that.

Dee asked what you are doing for your recovery and you want that recovery, I know you do. What one step can you take today that might turn things around for you? Can you go to AA? Will you walk into a local hospital or medical centre and tell them you need help? One step Jim, one step.

Ptcapote

Jim, I also want to say that I am so glad that you're back. You used to post a lot when I first joined and I always found encouragement and hope in what you wrote. I have missed seeing you around. You are most certainly NOT a wreck of a human being and you wouldn't be back here if you didn't want to keep trying. Something inside of you wants you to kick this demon in the a$$ and be done with it. As long as that is there, no matter how far down you go, there is always, always a chance to be free. And, as others have said, we are here for you 100%. One step and one breath at a time...let's do this.

So very glad you're back.

Jeni26

Jim, it is so good to hear from you, I have thought of you often and hoped we would see you back.

I remember that awful feeling of self-disgust very well. That's how I felt too. Believe in those who have travelled this path before you Jim, those who kept tripping up but who refused to give up trying to quit. There are so many inspiring stories here on SR.

Stay close to us. You can do this x

least

Welcome back!

ReadyAtLast

It's good to see you back Jim. This can be the first step of your new life

Croissant

Jim, there's no shame in admitting you feel the way you do.

I hope you find a way back to become the person you want to be. You know it's possible. Sending you best wishes.x