Irritated
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 173
Irritated
I'm having a rough weekend. It's Day 3 for me. I'm at my parents' house for the weekend, babysitting their dog and my 13-year-old nephew while they're away at the beach for Labor Day. I'm feeling very irritated because I'm a schoolteacher, and this is the last weekend of my summer vacation before I go back to work on Tuesday, and I have a lot of stuff that I should be doing for my job, that I can't be doing because I'm not home. I have two cats at home and my parents are afraid they will attack their dog, so whenever I dogsit, they don't allow me to bring the dog there, I have to come to their house. And she is not a low-maintenance dog. She has bad allergies so I have to medicate her and put ear drops in her ears. She is also very hyper at times and also spoiled, if I don't let her sleep with me, she will bark all night long. But when she sleeps with me it disturbs my sleep and I don't sleep well.
Anyway, when my parents asked me to dogsit a few weeks ago, I expressed my reluctance due to the bad timing. They said they would call a dogsitter they have used occasionally in the past, but I guess she was unavailable, because a few days later they were just like, "we need you to dogsit." Then a few days ago, they were like, "oh by the way, you have to babysit your nephew too," apparently because my brother and his wife would like a child-free week and he was staying with my parents this week.My nephew is well-behaved and all, but it's just another responsibility, making sure he's fed and safe and entertained, etc etc, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry for both of us, keeping my parents' house clean, driving him around. Plus at night he stays up late on the phone with his friends and wakes up late, and I'm sitting here waiting for him to wake up because I have a million things to do but I can't leave him here alone.
I don't like to leave my cats alone, but they don't like to travel, but I brought them to my grandmother's house so she could watch them. They are both totally freaked out, so I thought it would be best if I brought the more upset cat back home yesterday. It took two hours to get him out from under a table and into his carrier. Complete disaster.
Now I'm sitting here, I can't sleep, running through a mental list of all the things I should be doing that I can't. Did I mention that this isn't just the start of a new school year for me, but actually a brand new job? So that means even more work for me, and a ton of nervousness adding to this stress.
I don't want to sound ungrateful because my parents are very good to me, and I've been having money problems recently and they've been quite generous. They also just bought me a brand new computer which I needed. I'm just feeling really irritated and resentful right now, and I feel almost like I was forced to do something I really didn't want to do. So I'm mad at myself for agreeing to do something I didn't want to do. I'm angry with them because I feel like I was forced into it. I'm irritated that I'm sitting here and I can't do any of the things I should be doing. Basically I'm just feeling a lot of negative emotions. And not wanting to feel those emotions, honestly not wanting to feel anything, is a big reason I would pick up a drink. But that's not an option for me anymore. So I'm just sitting here crying and feeling pissed off.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Anyway, when my parents asked me to dogsit a few weeks ago, I expressed my reluctance due to the bad timing. They said they would call a dogsitter they have used occasionally in the past, but I guess she was unavailable, because a few days later they were just like, "we need you to dogsit." Then a few days ago, they were like, "oh by the way, you have to babysit your nephew too," apparently because my brother and his wife would like a child-free week and he was staying with my parents this week.My nephew is well-behaved and all, but it's just another responsibility, making sure he's fed and safe and entertained, etc etc, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry for both of us, keeping my parents' house clean, driving him around. Plus at night he stays up late on the phone with his friends and wakes up late, and I'm sitting here waiting for him to wake up because I have a million things to do but I can't leave him here alone.
I don't like to leave my cats alone, but they don't like to travel, but I brought them to my grandmother's house so she could watch them. They are both totally freaked out, so I thought it would be best if I brought the more upset cat back home yesterday. It took two hours to get him out from under a table and into his carrier. Complete disaster.
Now I'm sitting here, I can't sleep, running through a mental list of all the things I should be doing that I can't. Did I mention that this isn't just the start of a new school year for me, but actually a brand new job? So that means even more work for me, and a ton of nervousness adding to this stress.
I don't want to sound ungrateful because my parents are very good to me, and I've been having money problems recently and they've been quite generous. They also just bought me a brand new computer which I needed. I'm just feeling really irritated and resentful right now, and I feel almost like I was forced to do something I really didn't want to do. So I'm mad at myself for agreeing to do something I didn't want to do. I'm angry with them because I feel like I was forced into it. I'm irritated that I'm sitting here and I can't do any of the things I should be doing. Basically I'm just feeling a lot of negative emotions. And not wanting to feel those emotions, honestly not wanting to feel anything, is a big reason I would pick up a drink. But that's not an option for me anymore. So I'm just sitting here crying and feeling pissed off.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I understand. I can feel your anger and frustration. I too have been placed in positions that forced me to be responsible for others because I felt I owed them. That did not make my resentment over it less painful. If anything it fueled it.
There is nothing you can do right now to rectify the situation. From here you can only move forward and make changes so that it does not happen again.
I am not sure what recovery plan you have, if any, but one of the things that are important, at least it was for me, it clear away the wreckage of the past. I never thought that clearing the past would help the present but it does in so many ways. I could think clear about today's problem without dragging yesterdays into it.
There is nothing you can do right now to rectify the situation. From here you can only move forward and make changes so that it does not happen again.
I am not sure what recovery plan you have, if any, but one of the things that are important, at least it was for me, it clear away the wreckage of the past. I never thought that clearing the past would help the present but it does in so many ways. I could think clear about today's problem without dragging yesterdays into it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
I was like that. Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink! It was suggested that because of my drinking I might have some brain damage and consider making a gratitude list if I cleared up. 1st on the list was that I wasn't looking up at the grass roots YET. BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 173
I didn't mean to sound like I'm saying poor me. I'm not trying to be defensive, but I clearly stated that I agreed to do this for my parents. Im not blaming anyone but me here. I also said that I was angry with myself, not feeling sorry for myself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
Day 3 and you have so much on your plate.
Early recovery and learning each day to stay
sober is a huge job in itself. Taking care of
yourself may sound selfish, but it will take
all of you, heart, mind and soul to focus on
how to stay sober with the tools and knowledge
we learn from a recovery program set down
for us to live by for a more healthier, happier,
honest life for years to come.
It may seem like everyone wants something
from you and you are just one person. If we
don't learn to stay sober no matter what then
we wont be good for anything or anyone else.
Including ourselves.
You are that important to take care of you
first and formost. If others don't get why
staying sober and living a sober life is that
important to you, then that is not your
concern or problem because we can't
control how others feel about us.
In recovery there are quite a few sayings
we learn to encorperate in our everyday
life as a guideline in helping us stay sober
each day. One of those sayings is ....
First Things First
That mean to do the very first thing, the
most important thing in your life to help
you not drink. No matter what, don't pick
up that first drink. If you can do that in this
day then you have accomplished ALOT.
If you don't have room in your day to
babysit, say so. For any alcoholic in
early recovery, each new day not drinking
is huge. And important.
Take care of you and learn all you can
ways to not drink. Then take care of ur
job. If it is too stressfull, then rethink
about doing something that won't affect
your will to stay sober.
Get rid of all the clutter in your life and
learn to live a simplier, healthier, more
serene sober life for yrs. to come.
Early recovery and learning each day to stay
sober is a huge job in itself. Taking care of
yourself may sound selfish, but it will take
all of you, heart, mind and soul to focus on
how to stay sober with the tools and knowledge
we learn from a recovery program set down
for us to live by for a more healthier, happier,
honest life for years to come.
It may seem like everyone wants something
from you and you are just one person. If we
don't learn to stay sober no matter what then
we wont be good for anything or anyone else.
Including ourselves.
You are that important to take care of you
first and formost. If others don't get why
staying sober and living a sober life is that
important to you, then that is not your
concern or problem because we can't
control how others feel about us.
In recovery there are quite a few sayings
we learn to encorperate in our everyday
life as a guideline in helping us stay sober
each day. One of those sayings is ....
First Things First
That mean to do the very first thing, the
most important thing in your life to help
you not drink. No matter what, don't pick
up that first drink. If you can do that in this
day then you have accomplished ALOT.
If you don't have room in your day to
babysit, say so. For any alcoholic in
early recovery, each new day not drinking
is huge. And important.
Take care of you and learn all you can
ways to not drink. Then take care of ur
job. If it is too stressfull, then rethink
about doing something that won't affect
your will to stay sober.
Get rid of all the clutter in your life and
learn to live a simplier, healthier, more
serene sober life for yrs. to come.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,163
Malachi, you frustration is coming from not being able to do stuff you need to, but if you can just accept that that is the case, you may be able to live in the moment and fins a way to enjoy it.
Acknowledge that everything will have to wait until you can get home, hope that your cats will sulk for a day or two but get over it, think about your nephew about to go back to school too, maybe he would enjoy so etching fun to do
Sometimes it's not about what we have to do, so much as how we look at it.
Acknowledge that everything will have to wait until you can get home, hope that your cats will sulk for a day or two but get over it, think about your nephew about to go back to school too, maybe he would enjoy so etching fun to do
Sometimes it's not about what we have to do, so much as how we look at it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
congrats on day 3! and a new job! starting a sober life.
everything might seem overwhelming now, but you can get through this....it's quite an accomplishment.
i don't think you sound self pitying at all. better to vent here than drink.
tell your nephew to get his butt out of bed and get moving.
maybe try to think of it as you helped your parents and brother/sil as they asked when they needed you.
everything might seem overwhelming now, but you can get through this....it's quite an accomplishment.
i don't think you sound self pitying at all. better to vent here than drink.
tell your nephew to get his butt out of bed and get moving.
maybe try to think of it as you helped your parents and brother/sil as they asked when they needed you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
One of the things I HAD to learn in early recovery was to say NO and mean NO. I had a lifetime of doing things I didn't want to do to keep everyone happy, but no more.
I am now able to do that with no guilty feelings involved.
Congratulations on Day 3!
I am now able to do that with no guilty feelings involved.
Congratulations on Day 3!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 173
Thank you all very much for reading, and for your feedback. You're all so right! I should be more grateful, and try to look at things from another's perspective. I also do need to put me and my sobriety first and foremost. And learning to say no and be ok with that is a skill I never learned how to do with my family and friends...just my students! I'm going to take this as a life lesson, make the best of this situation, control what I can control, and leave the rest to God. Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
take next weekend for yourself! plan some sober activities you enjoy, prep them during the week so you have something to look forward to.
you started a whole new chapter, and fwiw, you helped your parents and other family this weekend by babysitting...hope the cats forgive you.
you started a whole new chapter, and fwiw, you helped your parents and other family this weekend by babysitting...hope the cats forgive you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
As a fellow teacher I understand the thinking of having sooooooo much to do before school starts. However, I have also learned in various points in my life that everything has a way of working out. Your students aren't prepared either. You will have the time. You are sober and thinking with a much clearer head. This will work out. You became a teacher because it meant something to you. Don't let the stress that comes with teaching burn you out too soon. You got this
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