off the wagon, and it's ok...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
Just plain sad to read this
I'm sorry you had a bad accident with your finger. Don't you think it will heal better, if you're living a healthy life style? I'm betting you're not feeling so good this morning , if you were drinking / dancing / posting at 3 am. You and your family, deserve a sober you.....please don't let this degenerate to the conditions of your original post.
I'm sorry you had a bad accident with your finger. Don't you think it will heal better, if you're living a healthy life style? I'm betting you're not feeling so good this morning , if you were drinking / dancing / posting at 3 am. You and your family, deserve a sober you.....please don't let this degenerate to the conditions of your original post.
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Drinking while on anti-psychotics is a really, really bad idea.
I know you aren't looking for judgment in response to this post. Are you looking for tough love? A bunch of alcoholics are not going to cheer for you because you fell off the wagon. We are going to feel sorry for you.
I know you aren't looking for judgment in response to this post. Are you looking for tough love? A bunch of alcoholics are not going to cheer for you because you fell off the wagon. We are going to feel sorry for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 754
Wow...alcohol is mean and sneaky. Dancing until 3 am followed by a normal day of movies cookies and ice cream! How delightful if it weren't so deceptively inconceivable.
Thank you to Peter for reposting your earlier post. It indicates that maybe your post today was actually sarcastic knowing that we would be wiser - knowing today will not be filled with movies cookies and ice cream. I'm sorry to hear of your slip.
Get a grip! (Please know that was said with the best intentions.) I hope you stay on your meds and talk to your doctor. It was good of you to post and I am sending prayers your way...
And I am very sorry to hear about your finger.
Take care!!!
Thank you to Peter for reposting your earlier post. It indicates that maybe your post today was actually sarcastic knowing that we would be wiser - knowing today will not be filled with movies cookies and ice cream. I'm sorry to hear of your slip.
Get a grip! (Please know that was said with the best intentions.) I hope you stay on your meds and talk to your doctor. It was good of you to post and I am sending prayers your way...
And I am very sorry to hear about your finger.
Take care!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I'm sorry about your injury, that must have been really frightening. I won't try to scare you or throw your own words (from earlier posts) back at you. But I will make a few comments. Why did you originally come to this site? What exactly is missing in your life that alcohol fills?
Most people that identify as alcoholics have little success at moderating. Some can do it and I personally know one low-bottom drunk that has moderated for years. He drinks on Saturday night. He does so at home. He puts away his phone and keys and ties one on. He is abstinate the rest of the week. This is really Harm Reduction and not moderation, but I don't argue with him. And this is so much better than his daily fifth of whiskey that he did for as long as I can remember. Better is better. The down side to this is his Sunday is spent recovering.
You can choose what you let into your life. For ME, the price that alcohol demands me to pay to play around with it is too dear.
It is Sunday morning and I'm off for a 10 mile run. I know for a fact what kind of morning my friend is having.
Most people that identify as alcoholics have little success at moderating. Some can do it and I personally know one low-bottom drunk that has moderated for years. He drinks on Saturday night. He does so at home. He puts away his phone and keys and ties one on. He is abstinate the rest of the week. This is really Harm Reduction and not moderation, but I don't argue with him. And this is so much better than his daily fifth of whiskey that he did for as long as I can remember. Better is better. The down side to this is his Sunday is spent recovering.
You can choose what you let into your life. For ME, the price that alcohol demands me to pay to play around with it is too dear.
It is Sunday morning and I'm off for a 10 mile run. I know for a fact what kind of morning my friend is having.
Been there, done that!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Drinking for someone like me is like playing Russian roulette there will always be a time when I pull the trigger pick up Drink and click its perfect then ill pick up a drink pull the trigger then bang bang before I know it the clicks are getting further apart and i just might not make it back without killing myself... Take care
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
That's a sad post to read, Ippo. Deep down you knew what everybody's reaction was going to be. You can't come on a public forum and spill your guts and then not expect everyone to turn round and front you up with your own damning words.
I've nothing really to add to some of the thoughtful prose here except to say that so many of us have spent time in that twilight world where we don't know whether we're coming or going. And we cling on to old ideas and certainties, one of which is that we have a mental problem and not a drink problem.
And then if we're lucky we come to the realization that we have both and treating one without the other is always going to result in relapse and failure.
Don't fool yourself Ippo. Be honest and tackle your health and alcohol abuse issues with the courage and strength it took to come on here initially and confront yourself. You're not alone by any means and I guarantee you can do it.
Get up there and show us all how it's done.
All strength
NT
I've nothing really to add to some of the thoughtful prose here except to say that so many of us have spent time in that twilight world where we don't know whether we're coming or going. And we cling on to old ideas and certainties, one of which is that we have a mental problem and not a drink problem.
And then if we're lucky we come to the realization that we have both and treating one without the other is always going to result in relapse and failure.
Don't fool yourself Ippo. Be honest and tackle your health and alcohol abuse issues with the courage and strength it took to come on here initially and confront yourself. You're not alone by any means and I guarantee you can do it.
Get up there and show us all how it's done.
All strength
NT
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I don't know which weighs on my heart more. Reading posts from people who are struggling to fight the good fight and are back on day one or people who post while under the influence that they gave in and sound like a little kid skipping to go play on a swing set.
I have come to the decision that both are equally disheartening and both deserve the same amount of support. The circumstances weigh equally and are just as sad.
Ippo, we'll be here for you when you return. My prayer is that between now and then that nothing bad happens. You've gotta do what you gotta do to prove to yourself what many of us have already proven.
I hope you come back.
I have come to the decision that both are equally disheartening and both deserve the same amount of support. The circumstances weigh equally and are just as sad.
Ippo, we'll be here for you when you return. My prayer is that between now and then that nothing bad happens. You've gotta do what you gotta do to prove to yourself what many of us have already proven.
I hope you come back.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I'm guessing you've already read most of the responses before mine and you aren't feeling all that great about your post Ippo. I see you've already logged in to look and I'm also guessing you wished you'd never written it. As bad as it seems, it happens...to many of us. Come on back so we can help.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
I'm guessing you've already read most of the responses before mine and you aren't feeling all that great about your post Ippo. I see you've already logged in to look and I'm also guessing you wished you'd never written it. As bad as it seems, it happens...to many of us. Come on back so we can help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago Burbs- Illinois
Posts: 202
Just curious, but what role did opiates play in this decision to drink (if any)? Not sure how it is in the UK but here in the states you stub a toe and its pretty easy to weasel into some opiates- severed finger, week in the hospital, hard to imagine you weren't being given opiates.
My first relapse was after a surgery- got some pretty good painkillers and next thing you know I was downing twelve packs as soon as I ran out. Its just shocking how much even low doses of pills can distort thinking.
My first relapse was after a surgery- got some pretty good painkillers and next thing you know I was downing twelve packs as soon as I ran out. Its just shocking how much even low doses of pills can distort thinking.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I am very glad they managed to reattach your finger and that you are ok. That must have been very traumatic and I hope you heal fast and fully recover the use of your hand.
As far as moderation goes, you probably already know what I think about it (read the others' posts). Best of luck to you and make sure you bookmark SR, you know we will be there for you when you need us.
Take care
As far as moderation goes, you probably already know what I think about it (read the others' posts). Best of luck to you and make sure you bookmark SR, you know we will be there for you when you need us.
Take care
Originally Posted by ippochick
Hey all
I'm a 40-year-old mother of one (she's thirteen). Happily married to my second husband.
I'm a child of alcoholic parents. My drinking career started at age 9 and has continued until this last weekend.
I had a breakdown last year and spent a month in-patient on a psych unit. Part of my treatment was a medically controlled detox. I was discharged November 2012 and am under the care of my local mental health team. I take anti-depressants and anti-psychotics daily.
After leaving hospital I continued to drink as I had before my admission. Hell, even when in hospital, once I was allowed off the ward, I would visit the local shop and buy vodka, mix with coke and bring it back on the unit. So much for working on my drinking.
Over the last few months my problem has escalated. My husband travels for work and this would always be my trigger to buy vodka and start drinking. Eventually I messed up enough that my daughter became scared and talked to her dad about how things were. I thought that was the bottom, and I promised her I would never drink around her again.
Hubby went to Download festival last Friday. My daughter came home from school and I was passed out drunk on the sofa. Her stepmum had to come in the house to wake me and tell me she was taking my daughter (as is usual on a Friday). My daughter was due to have a sleepover with a friend at my house on the Saturday. I received a text from my ex-husband saying she would have it at his house, and that he would bring her back Monday morning for school.
I was terrified and thought he would take her from me. My husband had told me that if I drank spirits again in his absence he would leave me.
I truly thought I had lost everything. What followed was a 'lost weekend'. I drank vodka constantly. I didn't eat or shower for 3 days. By Sunday night I couldn't keep even water down, and I knew I had to tell my husband, seek proper help and quit once and for all.
I was so desperately ashamed of how I'd let my family down. My daughter came home Monday morning and wouldn't even look at me. I texted my husband and told him everything, booked into a hotel and spent Monday night sweating, shaking and hallucinating.
Yesterday I went to see my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) and broke down completely. The Crisis Team are coming today to assess me to see if I need to go back into hospital or whether I can detox at home with medication. I am being referred to the local Alcohol Support team, and will ask my GP for Antabuse once this support is in place.
I can never drink again. I read somewhere that 'you don't pick up where you left off, you pick up where you would have been if you'd kept going'. This terrifies me. If I carry on drinking I will lose everything and have no doubt that it will help me into an early grave.
Good lord, sorry for the wall of text. I just wanted to get this out there. I am on day 3 of my new life.
Thanks for reading.
I'm a 40-year-old mother of one (she's thirteen). Happily married to my second husband.
I'm a child of alcoholic parents. My drinking career started at age 9 and has continued until this last weekend.
I had a breakdown last year and spent a month in-patient on a psych unit. Part of my treatment was a medically controlled detox. I was discharged November 2012 and am under the care of my local mental health team. I take anti-depressants and anti-psychotics daily.
After leaving hospital I continued to drink as I had before my admission. Hell, even when in hospital, once I was allowed off the ward, I would visit the local shop and buy vodka, mix with coke and bring it back on the unit. So much for working on my drinking.
Over the last few months my problem has escalated. My husband travels for work and this would always be my trigger to buy vodka and start drinking. Eventually I messed up enough that my daughter became scared and talked to her dad about how things were. I thought that was the bottom, and I promised her I would never drink around her again.
Hubby went to Download festival last Friday. My daughter came home from school and I was passed out drunk on the sofa. Her stepmum had to come in the house to wake me and tell me she was taking my daughter (as is usual on a Friday). My daughter was due to have a sleepover with a friend at my house on the Saturday. I received a text from my ex-husband saying she would have it at his house, and that he would bring her back Monday morning for school.
I was terrified and thought he would take her from me. My husband had told me that if I drank spirits again in his absence he would leave me.
I truly thought I had lost everything. What followed was a 'lost weekend'. I drank vodka constantly. I didn't eat or shower for 3 days. By Sunday night I couldn't keep even water down, and I knew I had to tell my husband, seek proper help and quit once and for all.
I was so desperately ashamed of how I'd let my family down. My daughter came home Monday morning and wouldn't even look at me. I texted my husband and told him everything, booked into a hotel and spent Monday night sweating, shaking and hallucinating.
Yesterday I went to see my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) and broke down completely. The Crisis Team are coming today to assess me to see if I need to go back into hospital or whether I can detox at home with medication. I am being referred to the local Alcohol Support team, and will ask my GP for Antabuse once this support is in place.
I can never drink again. I read somewhere that 'you don't pick up where you left off, you pick up where you would have been if you'd kept going'. This terrifies me. If I carry on drinking I will lose everything and have no doubt that it will help me into an early grave.
Good lord, sorry for the wall of text. I just wanted to get this out there. I am on day 3 of my new life.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 19
I remember how much effort and wasted time I spent trying to "moderate" my drinking. It was difficult, and such a waste of time. If you have to think about it that hard, there is a problem. If you fall off though, and fall short, get back up and try, try again. But seriously, make the right choice if you can which is to stop right now. Don't take another drink.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Dee74
It's always all ok until it isn't...and that switch can be instantaneous.
Once we lose control. Any positive drinking experiences we have are like lighting the fuse on a time-bomb.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
