July2413

Hi Everyone. Yesterday was a rough day. I'm still getting settled in a new home and a new job and I had one of those no good terrible rotten days where nothing really goes right that you plan to do. I almost felt like I did when I was drinking only these bad things happened for no reason instead of because I was drinking.

Anyway, last night I started thinking that a glass of wine would help calm me down and make me feel better and help me sleep. All of that is true. However, I can't stop at one glass. I'm posting because I have to say it again. I am incapable of only having one glass and going to bed. One glass always turns into a bottle, no sleep, anxiety, and more bad days.

Today I continued to have some of these thoughts - not as strong as last night but still in the back of my mind. I started thinking that maybe I was just being dramatic and needed some time apart from alcohol so I could hit the reset button on my problem and that if I drank a glass of wine tonight it would be different. I know that is false but its the way that voice tries to get me back with alcohol again.

My life has been so much better without alcohol and I truly believe that I was blessed to be able to realize where I was going before I arrived there but sometimes its easy for me to convince myself that I'm fine because I never drove drunk or lost my job or hurt anyone other than myself. I have to keep remembering that the only reason for that is circumstances. I haven't avoided calamity by making good decisions. I've been lucky.

I am an alcoholic. I cannot drink. I just need to see it in black and white sometimes.

Thanks for listening!

Anna

It's hard getting through the bad days, but it sounds like you're getting through this.

Good luck with your new job.

Dee74

sorry for the rotten day July2413.

The way I look at it is I have bad days now...when I drank I had bad months even bad years. Drinking is one way to ensure a bad day.

My fellow mod Ann says the difference between a bad day and a good one is usually about two days.

I haven't proved her wrong yet

D

bblackbirdflyy

Sorry for the bad day! Maybe think about whatever events on July232013 led you here? Have a better day tomorrow!

LadyBlue0527

I'm sorry that you had a tough day and I'm glad that you came here to post. That's what it's all about, the honesty in knowing that you can't have just one glass.

I hope that things are better and easier for you tomorrow

Plenny

You're awesome for having a bad day and staying in touch with your goals. Hope you feel better soon

Celticgirl

July, I feel your pain. You made it through a bad day sober. You're stronger than you think!