Oldselfagain

Hi Dahliadee...I was in the same exact situation as you. A good mate of mine was having his stag do (bachelor party) in another city. I had already paid for the flight and the hotel. I chose not to go because I knew where there was little chance I could resist the temptation to drink. I made the absolute right decision NOT TO GO. My friend wasn't happy that I didn't go, but he soon got over it and didn't affect our friendship at all. Stay strong, and make the right decision to not go. You will be able to draw on the strength of this decision in the future when another temptation to drink comes along. You owe it to yourself. I once heard a recovered alcoholic say that sobriety was the best gift he ever gave himself. I would have to agree, life without alcohol is sooooo much better!!!!!!

ReadyAtLast

I think Endgame was speaking hypothetically in response to the op's predicament

wpainterw

Carlotta wrote:
"I think that Endgame was reposting the OP's original post without the layers of denial and showed it for what it truly was."

I'm relieved if this was in fact the case. The way it was written by Endgame might have led others to the same misunderstanding that I had. In my advancing years I often take things literally, particularly where alcohol is concerned. Rather like joking when a pistol is pointed at one's head.

W.

longbeachone

This isn't a slippery slope, it's an icy Mt. Everest. If you want to continue to be sober, do not go to this party. If there was ever a "What the hell, might as well" moment, this is it.

Oldselfagain

When I originally read this post I just assumed Endgame inadvertently left off the "if" at the beginning of the sentence, and was actually saying that someone in early sobriety doesn't really stand a chance to resist that temptation to drink under those circumstances.

wpainterw

I thought Endgame was saying to Dahliadee, "I'm in the same exact situation as you. I'm a recovering alcoholic but I'm going to that party and, what's more, I'm going to get drunk!" I lack the necessary sophistication to think otherwise. When a person is standing on a ledge, hundreds of feet above the street, and has been invited to join a party to do pushups there, it may be advisable to avoid any risk of misinterpretation.

W.

EndGameNYC

Thanks for your kind words and your support but, um, no, not planning a relapse. Very little planning went into my relapse, and I don't know that I'd be "honest" enough to post my pre-relapse preparations or staging area here.

I had two years back on August 20th after a three-year relapse that came after twenty five years without a drink. I celebrated my new anniversary last night, and an AA friend gave me a card in which he pasted an excerpt from the AA Big Book from Dr. Bob Smith, one of AA's co-founders, that is near and dear to me:

When asked if he would ever want to drink again, Dr. Bob replied, "So long as I'm thinking as I'm thinking now, and so long as I'm doing the things I'm doing now, I don't believe I'll ever take another drink."

This is in reference to the Big Book's assertion that we need "a complete psychic change" in order to remain sober. I rarely think in terms of "never drinking again," but I also don't worry about drinking if I continue to work as hard as I did to get sober in the first place.

wpainterw

Good for you! I like the way you're honest with yourself. Sometimes I hear people say that even after having been sober as long as you have, if the time comes when they have a relapse then it's like all the progress they've made gets washed away and they're back to square one. I don't think it's at all so with you, since from what you say it sounds like you just took a fall and then picked up where you left off. Got right back on the horse. That's simply great. I once had seven years of sobriety back from 1968 to 1975, relapsed and kept struggling for 13 more years. That takes us to 1988 and I haven't had a drink since. The reason was a bad relapse in 1988 and (would you believe it) getting into AA for the first time. I had a lot of issues with AA, and still do with some of the more traditional groups, but the benefits far outweighed the detriments and I'm convinced that the safest route to sobriety is either AA or something else that involves the help of other recovering alcoholics. I say the "safest" since I gather that some have done it alone or just with counseling. But I could never make it that way. Kept falling off the horse.
So you've had lots of experience riding the horse of sobriety. You're back in the saddle and that's simply great to hear!

W.

deeker

Do not go would be my choice. Sobriety has to come first. But that is just me.

If I know a situation is risky and I am not on good spiritual ground and I am already worrying about it , I cancel.