23 year old who just realized my life is spiraling out of control
 

i dont remember the first time that i had a drink. it must have been when i was young, my mother always had a generous supply of vodka around. so, i started drinking young...backstory, being raped by your brother can harm your psyche for years....not being believed when you tell someone about this can do just as much harm. So, i don't think that i've ever been generally happy with life.
fast forward, looking over the past 5 years of my life, it has consisted of drinking until i had blackouts, blacking out and leaving where i was only to come back to on the streets of hollywood, doing enormous amounts of coke/drinking & blacking out only to wake up having sex with someone who i knew but definitely wouldnt have had sex with sober, which brings me to today. Last night was filled with an enormous bottle of tequila with friends at my house, getting drunk and listening to music, cooking, etc. i woke up today feeling like crap, obviously. a friend comes over, he has meth on him. i'm all like, oh geeze, thats one drug that i've never done, so let me try some. I snorted two bumps of meth. WTF. seriously. the odd thing is, after snorting the meth...i sat in my room and a crazy feeling came over me...i literally, looked at myself and thought "what the hell am i doing with my life" like...is this really what i want for myself...why am i drinking every single day...why arm i slowing becoming just like my alcoholic mother who dwells in her misery instead of doing something about it.

so, i found out there are AA meetings held literally a 6 minute walk from my house. And im taking charge of my life. i dont have a lot of support because i now live in Los Angeles so i dont have any family....

please keep me in your thoughts, guys.
-india-

welcome to SR India :)

you'll find a load of support here - and understand, ecouragement and hope too.

Good to have you join us :)

D

23 and taking charge of your life , that is brilliant :You_Rock_

Nice to have you here lovehiphop,

Bestwishes, m

Addiction is like an elevator. You can stop at any floor.

You do not have to ride it all the way to the bottom.

It's awesome you are taking care of yourself at 23. You can build an awesome life moving forward.

This site is amazing. Thank you very much.

:welcome to SR! There's so much support here. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me. :hug:

Welcome to SR India. I recovered in AA at 22 and I know lots of people who have recovered at a young age. It's the most amazing journey, well worth the little bit of effort involved. Wishing you all the best!

I wish you the best in your recovery!!!!

Hugs

Welcome :)

You CAN take charge of you life and its wonderful that you are young and realizing this. Some of us it has taken years of misery to come to that conclusion. Stay the path. I have this wonderful site to thank for my first few weeks of sobriety. Great people here that understand.

Welcome, I started drinking and using drugs at 12. By the time I was 16 I was shooting up meth and drinking constantly. After numerous arrest, overdoses, trips to the nut house, jail, rehab, halfway houses, and a good try at self control, I surrendered one month short of my 18th birthday. Haven't been in trouble since then thanks to NA and AA. After a couple of years it's been just AA. Life is good!

India,

Surviving Incest is a very tough burden to deal with alone.
I am not sure if you have sought help or not but I can tell you that
For me it was a large trigger of depression and use of drugs and alchohol.
Here are a few resources of various Incest and sexual abuse recovery groups in Los Angeles. There are actually a few with meetings
Today. Sexual Abuse / Incest / Rape Los Angeles County, California

All the best to you.

Welcome India. Really hope you stay around and update us on your progress.

welcome to SR :)