questions
 

Am I an alcoholic if :

1.) When I drink, I drink. Meaning - If I have anything more than two, that is it. I am on a track to getting obliterated and that is usually just what happens.

2.) Last time on vacation I blacked out so I decided to take three weeks off and did not have any withdrawal symptoms. I still thought about it... I do love to party.

3.) My wife asks me over and over to stop drinking so much... I guess lately I do drink quite a bit. You know.. as I write these things I am pretty much sure have a problem lol.

Anyway, is it a problem to the point where it needs to be stopped. Am I just enjoying my young 20's.

I also am very discourage because I feel like it effects my work(i.e. I am tired from the weekends and I have a night out during the week usually and come into work completely hung over). I am a computer scientist so my brain is my main asset - worried I am bringing it down with drinking.

Also, I have never been diagnosed, but I know I have ADHD and think it may be somewhat related to my drinking. So... what to do? Does it seem like I should just never drink again? I am on day 2 of not drinking but still not sure if I really should just never pick it up again. Should I go a month, then just to go back to binge drinking. Or, should I try to go a few months and see if I can become a "normal" drinking; this I have a hard time believing.

So WTF do I do!?!? :dee

Another thing, I feel like I am actually "wasting" the labor day weekend by not drinking. I know this is actually the complete opposite of what is real. If I drank it away, it would then be a waste... This is my other half that loves alcohol putting things in my head.

Hey there. I'm a lot like you, I drink till I'm a train wreck. My husband wanted me to stop. So I did, and honestly it was mostly pretty great. Except I'm currently suffering because I messed up last night and I don't know I guess I thought I could 'just have a few,' ha! I have been trying different methods off and on for 15 years, and cannot be a moderate drinker. I gotta quit all the way.
I think your drinking sounds like its negatively affecting your life. And I think there's a problem on your hands... Because, if you are thinking about controlling it, and your wife is concerned and uncomfortable with it, there is a problem.
I had to realize that. I'm struggling to control it. Good luck in your search for a better way, I'm really glad you checked in here, it's been incredibly helpful for me along the way :)

Welcome Milkman. Glad you found us and wanted to talk about this.

I drank the same way in my 20's. I didn't do anything about it - just kept trying to control it over the years. As time went on I became more & more dependent on it - to have fun, relax, and in the end - I just needed it because I'd get the shakes if it wasn't in my system. I never realized the hold it had on me - and the damage it was slowly doing to my life. I'm glad you've realized it's time to take a serious look at your drinking habits. I hope you'll find some answers & suggestions here that will help. Good you have you with us. :)

I would say as soon as drink starts to become more important than your life or starts causing you conflict or problems in your life then it's an issue you need to address.

Welcome to SR and hopefully you can get some insight here :) make a doc appointment if you think it's that serious.

As the poster above said, it sounds like drinking is effecting your life in a negative way. Messing up your brain, screwing up your definitions of "fun" vs. "wasting time", causing problems with your wife, not being able to control how much you drink, blacking out....and clearly since you're here it's made you uneasy. And you know what this is doing to your internal organs and your system. You probably didn't mention the digestive issues, the hangovers, the sour feeling in your stomach in the mornings, the dehydration, etc.

In my experience, most people don't get to this point. They put their fingers in the fire, get burned, and then pull it out. And don't go back. It's not worth doing it again and again, it's having a negative effect on them. They don't need to question whether or not to put their hand back over the flame. It's common sense. They stop that behavior.

For one reason or another, alcoholics like myself can't control our drinking. I hemmed and hawed over the issue, wondering "could i be an alcoholic?" before quieting my head with more drinks. Constant diarreah, shakes, night sweats...I asked myself "could it be the booze?"before I cracked another beer. Lost my job, my girlfriend, my social circle..."is it the drink?" I wondered.

For me, it was all or nothing. And don't fool yourself, because if you're like me, it will someday become choosing between life and death. How about you get a more solid plan in place this time? Have you got any ideas? Why not give it a shot, you don't have much to lose!

I think it's hard to stop drinking and go back, thinking you'll be a normal drinker. If we were normal drinkers, we wouldn't have had to stop in the first place.

:) Sounds like you are answering your own questions.

I suggest spending some time reading newbie threads. Many stories will resonate. I sure wish I would have woken up when I was your age. . . When I finally found a nice productive, happy period of sobriety, I ventured into the "just one glass" territory. Within a couple of years I was drinking every night and getting totally wasted at parties. So, for me, it's all or nothing.

Stick around and check out other threads.

Welcome!

I think, whatever you want to call your problem, there are some pretty red flags there Milkman.

I found that once I crossed a line, I couldn't go back - no amount of 'time off' or 'taking a break' could reset me.

Once I reintroduced alcohol into the equation the same (bad) stuff kept happening

It can be a long journey to the realisation that alcohol is your problem...and the solution to that problem is not to drink it.

Don't spend 20 years on it like I did :)

D

My twenties was comprised of just chunks of weeks where I forgot to count how many drinks I had, with maybe one sober and hangover free day between chunks. I lost so much time and wasted so much potential. I'm in my thirties starting my life over.
I wish I had found this site back then like you did now.

When you visit a Recovery website, list a bunch of reasons why your drinking is problematic, then ask if you're an alcoholic, the answer is probably going to be a resounding YES! Drinking has become so dangerous to most of us that we are prone to knee jerk reactions to questions like this.

Far more important is this: Do YOU think that you're an alcoholic? If you look at yourself and your drinking honestly, you should have no problem reaching the correct answer. You may not like it, but you'll know.

If you decide that you need help these pages will be a terrific resource for you. If you don't, well then, thanks for stopping by. Well be here if you ever need us.

This is exactly how I used to feel. If I wasn't getting wasted, my days off were being wasted. It puts your brain in reverse.

I'll say first that I know my opinion is a little extreme by some peoples standards. I strongly believe that everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic,, its just some of us show the symptoms earlier or are not able to hide it as well.

Whoa! That is awesome how many responses I got. I woke up with no hangover this morning so all was well. Today is day 3 :). I will respond after I eat and read these posts.

Does it matter how you classify yourself?

Does it matter if you are a binge drinker, alcoholic, alcohol dependent, alcohol abuser?

I decided after months, probably years of trying to find a description that matched my drinking, that it really did not matter what definition I used.

Drinking made me unhappy and the people I loved unhappy and that was enough for me to stop.

It's really not about how much or how often you drink. Its about what happens when you drink.
If you only ever drink once a year, but it always ends up in a fight and get arrested and spend time in jail, then yes your drinking is problematic.

And perhaps something really important to remember is that when you see an end stage alcoholic, an extreme drinker that has lost everything and everyone, they did not turn into that over night. They did not wake up one day and were like that. They were not born like that.

It's a process, alcoholism has stages.
At the moment you are maybe making your wife cross.
What happens when it moves on from this and you loose your friends, your relationships, your job, your home, your freedom.

Only you can make your mind up about your drinking.

For me, I knew drinking and me were not a good combination.
Becoming a member here and reading and learning and understanding all I have done about alcohol addiction, I look at a beer or a glass of wine in a different way. It has the potential to destroy everything I love and have worked so hard for.

I now know, that as long as I don't have that one drink, then I cannot get drunk, blackout, upset other people, make a disgrace of myself.

For 18 months I have not had a drink and have not done any of those things. I can tell you that my life is much calmer and much more preferable now.

I wish you the best xx