Acheleus

Heading off to work. I got paid today and it feels good to know none of that money will be spent on booze. Still a little nervous but feeling stronger everyday. I am going to catch up on a lot of work this weekend.

13unluckyforsom

Treat yourself to something nice with the money your saving your doing great

Amajorityofone

I agree-

Do something nice for yourself as a reward.

Go get a professional shave, hair cut, and wash. Go get a massage, or a manny-petty. Buy some new clothes, or new shoes. If you can afford it, do it all, but do something, anything, nice for yourself. Then do it all over again 90 days from now. It's important to throw, and keep throwing, proverbial carrots ahead of your sober road to pick up along the way.


Good luck and God Bless

mecanix

May i recomend a nice sober weekend as a special treat to yourself

Keep on, m

Acheleus

In the library reading and writing. I will do something nice tomorrow for getting two weeks away from alcohol abuse. Trying to stay focused all weekend. Thank you guys, I do need a haircut by the way.

Dee74

have a good weekend Ach

D

Acheleus

The daggum alcoholic voice is beckoning. Trying to find a meeting. This is INSANE. Why do I have this part of me that is hell bent on self-destruction? I have to maintain my sobriety this weekend at all costs. Watching tv now and might go get some dinner later. Going to read and grade some stuff late tonight. I'm not going to give in like I have the times before.

Hevyn

I'm glad you're posting Acheleus. It helps to know others have been there and understand. You're wise to keep busy & distract yourself. You know caving will lead to nothing but misery. You can do this.

Bubovski

Lets prove that 13 wasn't unlucky for Achelus!

Acheleus

In the bed resting. Going to catch up on sleep.

Acheleus

Gosh I never knew how many horrible things from the past I have not faved. This is scary. Trying to sleep but I might go walking.

foolsgold66

C'mon Acheleus, do not freak out. What happened?

Acheleus

I meant faced. All these memories of past failures come rushing back. I just want to see how I do without alcohol. Being alone a lot leaves me in my head regretting the past. I have no inner resources, but I will get some in sobriety.

Plenny

I'm sorry you're getting rushed with regrets and such Sometimes it feels like stuff from the past just comes out of the woodwork on its own. Trust that it will pass, and after it does I bet you will feel like these things are much smaller than they felt just a little while ago. The past is the past

ZoeM

Hi. I also get thoughts that I don't want - memories etc - when I lie down for the night. I've found though that leaving a radio or tv on low, is just enough distraction to over-ride them. Have you tried that?

WritingHelps

I feel ill every so often when I think of some of the things I've said and done when I've been black out drunk in the past. I try not to let it get to me and remind myself that I can't change what's happened, but I can do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. It was hard at first (about a year ago, the first time I quit) when I had a lot of fresh wounds (metaphorically) about how stupid I was acting. I eventually went back to drinking, not as bad, but still not in control. So now I have 29 days sober and it's not always awesome, but it's better than it was.

I hope you get through your tough thoughts. It feels like a roller coaster of emotions sometimes. Stay busy, stay positive, and stay active on the boards here if it helps

foolsgold66

Oh, I see now. I have so been there. You drowned all that old crap in booze, and now it's rising to the surface. Get your brain busy doing something else. It'll take some time before you can face it constructively.

Acheleus

Writing about it helps. I write short stories and have a lot of manuscripts lying around. Just stuff from my childhood is bothering me. But I took a walk and then went to the grocery store, I am not tired but I will try to read and sleep. Thank you Zoe I will try to leave the tv on or something. I feel the worst when I am trying to go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning.