appygirl8

I apologize this will be long. I have been off and on with the love of my life for 7 years now. We are in our early 20's. We share a 21 month old daughter. We have quite the history together good and bad. We used to smoke weed together, take ecstasy, and we shared a cocaine addiction for a short period. Then I found out I was pregnant and I stopped smoking pot which is all i was doing at that point. He was working in a factory and most of the people he hung out with were people from work. He worked 12 hour third shift. He started at this factory in 2010 and we moved back to our home town the same year. shortly after we found out we were expecting. During the pregnancy I could see that there was a problem and found out he was using prescription pills. He continued this use up until earlier this year (2013). He lied about it constantly. then after having daughter he became almost invisible. He came home and slept until about ten mins before leaving for work. on his off days he would sleep well into the night, then be up until early morning. The only time there was a difference was when his family was around. two days before christmas 2012 i moved in with my father. we tried working on things off and on. when we are not trying to work things out he normally doesnt have anything to do with our daughter. 3 weeks ago (on one of our work things out spells) he showed up and was acting very different, paranoid, anxious. he told me right after i moved he had tried meth. he then said he was on it when showing up on it. apparently this had been going on for about 4 months. i involved his family. ( he was already living with his grandmother since the end of july). they flipped out. but the dust has settled and they told him he had to go to rehab. i dont believe him saying he is. now he wants visitations with my daughter. my worries are rumor has it he is still running with the drug crowd. no word on rehab. I am trying to put my love for him aside and focus on him and my daughter. but he is the love of my life. lies and drugs or not. i cant let him go. he is my addiction... but everyother time he wants my daughter it is always just used as leverage over me. i guess my question is will it change? what are signs to look for of him being clean?

drunkyjules

I think you need to put your daughter and yourself first and if he is a drug abuser her is not a good person to have around. It sounds like he has given you a lot of signals that he has a problem. I also think that you recognize the behavior when he's abusing. As they say the proof is in the pudding. It doesn't seem like he went to rehab - if he did you would know it. Letting him back in when he is abusing drugs and has all those bad habits is only going to make your life worse.

You seem like your pretty young. Honestly ask yourself if this is the type of man you want to spend your life with. You and your daughter deserve so much better.

If he's going to be sober he needs to step up and prove it and I think you will know when he does. Don't make excuses for him!

ZoeM

I totally agree with Jules. x