Unmotivated to do ANYTHING.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 19
Unmotivated to do ANYTHING.
So it is 10 days sober now....starting about four years ago, I just became depressed, and completely unmotivated. Currently, I feel like things are not possible. I have a lot of ideas, and I booked a small part in a film here, but feeling like I am not sure what direction to take for the rest of my life. Another side of me feels like I am kind of convalescing in a way, and I just need to work, stay sober, and stay status quo for now. If in a month or two, I am still in the same head space, then maybe go see someone about possible depression, or ...hey, maybe I am just plain lazy! Maybe I am just a little too buddhist, and do not feel the need to strive for better, bigger, more. I have had a horrible habit of comparing myself to everyone my whole life, and then just getting kind of defeatist in thinking. Thinking things like I just got a bad rap in life, and that I already screwed up so many opportunities, and that life is pretty much over now. I squandered my youth, and opportunities available to me when I was younger partying, and basically looking a gift horse in the mouth...I had the opportunities, and now just working at a job I hate, in a state I do not want to be living in...I get sick of hearing myself complain...ugh. I mean why can't I get off the victim, self pity crap, and get back into life. I was not always like this. Alcohol abuse led to my fiancee being arrested, and now a lot of our money is going to probation costs, and mandatory classes....that is probably one reason for the downer attitude. Another thing I have tended to do is minimize obstacles in my life. Feeling like I should be able to excel no matter what I am dealing with....I don't give myself a break. The contradiction is that this attitude debilitates me. Like a dog chasing its tail. I have been told I don't know how to relax, and just do nothing.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
On this go-around in my sobriety I think NOTHING has aided me more than my full on committment to meditation. Twenty minutes, twice a day, no excuses. I have a kid, I'm a trial attorney, etc - but I make the time for it because I think it might be the key to my sobriety.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Hey Sherman, I can really relate to your post. I suffered with really bad fatigue in sobriety and before that I was paralysed by my need to drink. I always thought that if I stopped drinking then I could do stuff, but then when I did it was like I collapsed in a heap. I feel like there is a chance that further down the road in sobriety you will feel a lot better, I know I did but it took a lot of time. Like you I felt the need to fix everything right away but that is rarely practical. I realised recently that I am actually no further along in figuring out what I should be doing, the only difference is now I am okay with not knowing what's going to happen, whereas before it caused massive anxieties. Thing is I have so many issues it's difficult to know where to start, so I am just going along ticking things of the list... But as far as feeling motivated, things got a lot better the further away I got from my last drink. I am sure you'll find the same x
Yes you are convalescing now. Go to work, stay sober and take it easy. You are doing great. Keep going.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hey sherman.
Yes, there's a great deal of depressive thinking in your comment. While reading it, I was wondering if you'd had any history of depression in yourself or first-degree relatives?
The kind of thinking I see in your comments is representative of what's often referred to as the "cognitive triad" in depression.
I suck. The world sucks. And the future sucks.
Rationalizing your condition as "too Buddhist" is also defeatist and a testimony to your willingness to give up, and to your process of resigning yourself to your current state of mind. You've already lost the battle; why continue fighting? Yet the healthy part of you still longs for a better way.
Cognitive psychotherapy is often effective in treating this defeatist way of thinking, typically without medication, though some people need an initial push from meds.
It's an infinite loop that requires an effective and long-lasting interruption for the better: The way we think affects how we respond to what we feel, and the way we manage what we feel affects the way we think.
People are often amazed at how much better things are for them after working in this kind of therapy.
Yes, there's a great deal of depressive thinking in your comment. While reading it, I was wondering if you'd had any history of depression in yourself or first-degree relatives?
The kind of thinking I see in your comments is representative of what's often referred to as the "cognitive triad" in depression.
I suck. The world sucks. And the future sucks.
Rationalizing your condition as "too Buddhist" is also defeatist and a testimony to your willingness to give up, and to your process of resigning yourself to your current state of mind. You've already lost the battle; why continue fighting? Yet the healthy part of you still longs for a better way.
Cognitive psychotherapy is often effective in treating this defeatist way of thinking, typically without medication, though some people need an initial push from meds.
It's an infinite loop that requires an effective and long-lasting interruption for the better: The way we think affects how we respond to what we feel, and the way we manage what we feel affects the way we think.
People are often amazed at how much better things are for them after working in this kind of therapy.
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