This is hard to do

Old 08-28-2013, 07:04 PM
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This is hard to do

I've been reading these forums for a little bit now and I think I could write a book based on my experience, but I've already read my story over and over again on here, and if it is my story that I have read, and I hope it is, I know that it has a positive outcome. I just fear all the pain and suffering that I will have to go through with withdrawal to get there. I've tried to quit drinking before, sometimes with moderate but not sustained success. I used to take 1 month off every quarter to prove that I could, but I haven't done it in a long long time. I know I am damaging my life as well as my wife and kid's. These are really hard words for me to type. I don't know where or how to start with this but I do know that it has to happen. It needs to. I have everything to lose. I'm not sure how this goes from here, but here I am and I hope I can make this work. Thanks for reading.

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Old 08-28-2013, 07:50 PM
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You gonna talk to your doc? They can help with some of the withdrawals. Be careful detoxing as it can be deadly.

Glad you found this place! It's great to have you as a part of this community.
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:56 PM
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Welcome. If the detox seems too much, get some help with it. There are quite a few here going through it now, just talking to them a little bit and posting here is helping me.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:04 PM
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Dear Segg, welcome. It is hard to admit that you need to quit the alcohol. I'm proud of you for doing it. Make a plan. Such as: tomorrow when my cocktail hour time comes, I will be doing ___________. Going for a walk, baking a cake, playing tennis or whatever appeals to you. Keep busy. It is hard to change direction, but it gets easier.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:09 PM
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Hi seagglion

the problem with putting off quitting is things get worse.

I put it off for many years because I didn't want to suffer either - and ironically I suffered a lot more because I didn't quit when I should have.

The trials of quitting were nothing to the trials I went through to stay drunk.

Noones saying quitting is easy but it's a lot easier with support and some medical advice.

You really will look back and thank yourself.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Seggallion View Post
I don't know where or how to start with this but I do know that it has to happen.
You've started! Welcome. Keep us posted on your progress.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:12 PM
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The good thing is you have a lot to lose and you're aware of it. I lost everything before I turned around. Don't lose it all before you start recovery.
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Old 09-01-2013, 09:56 AM
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Today has been rough but I think good. Last night my I was talking to my wife and trying to be very open about everything. My heart broke. She told me that if she could have afforded it she would have taken the kids and left 18 months ago. I wish I hadn't asked the next question but I am glad that I did. I asked her if she still loves me, "I don't know" was her answer. I've spent a lot of today in tears, and at the same time trying to pick myself up. Today I am learning to put others before myself. I love my wife with all of my heart and it breaks to know that she has been suffering because of me for what has probably been a lot longer than 18 months. I've done a ton of house work trying to make up for time, I have a ton more to do, and I know that doesn't even begin to making up for it, but it is something (I hope). On top of all this we reserved a dog (to be born 9 months ago) and he will be here in two weeks. I have no idea why she wanted one if she felt this way. I am so confused right now. Thank you for listening. Seriously thank you.
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Old 09-01-2013, 10:15 AM
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Sounds like she is still hoping you can get back to being the person you used to be. This is hard, I know, but having been there I suggest you give her some space, keep your **** together, and keep putting one foot in front of the other without a drink in your hand. That is the way you will get the best possible result. It may not be the one you want, but it will be the best possible one.

Don't overload yourself. You cannot redeem yourself overnight.
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Old 09-01-2013, 10:25 AM
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Sometimes I think the ones that love us have to pull away in an effort to protect themselves. It is scary to watch an alcoholic drink, we are feeding a terminal disease.

For me, I know that not drinking gives me the chance to repair some of the damage I've done. And with every day I see the hope creeping back into the faces of the people who love me.

Chances are the pain of watching you hurt yourself is still fresh, you can change that. But you need to keep that memory fresh in your mind. You have everything you need within you!
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