Lurkers who are drinking right now
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Thanks I don't blame her but I also have a ton of anger towards her. She definitely screwed everything up - possible past the point of no return, given my whole family knows about it and was a big scene.
She says she is going to stop next week. I am trying to help her, as I actually think she is worse off than I am (not functional anymore) - perhaps that is just coping on my part. I am scared about where our relationship goes - been 15yrs and only 18months (2 kids) of it has been sober. Its going to be like dating a new person.
She told me tonight that I am at fault for her drinking and she will not be as fun sober. I guess I will take a rain check then on finding her hooking up with a stranger in front of my family. The conversation got worse as the bottle of wine she was drinking emptied out.
Its funny, towards the backend of this bender that ended 3 days ago (about 9 months) I could see this all sort of playing out.
She says she is going to stop next week. I am trying to help her, as I actually think she is worse off than I am (not functional anymore) - perhaps that is just coping on my part. I am scared about where our relationship goes - been 15yrs and only 18months (2 kids) of it has been sober. Its going to be like dating a new person.
She told me tonight that I am at fault for her drinking and she will not be as fun sober. I guess I will take a rain check then on finding her hooking up with a stranger in front of my family. The conversation got worse as the bottle of wine she was drinking emptied out.
Its funny, towards the backend of this bender that ended 3 days ago (about 9 months) I could see this all sort of playing out.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Yknow JD and I don't need to tell you this - maybe drinks an excuse for being wreck less - maybe it's drink that makes you wreck less I can't decide - I just know the person I am sober is not the ugly person I can be drunk the sober me doesn't do stupid things but the drunk me doesn't see the consequences.
I think this situation needs to sober up first and foremost - both of you - you can't make any big decisions in a haze of withdrawl.
As for the family knowing - it's none of their business at the end of the day they can be huffed or pleased but you and your wife are the people who have to decide what's best
I think this situation needs to sober up first and foremost - both of you - you can't make any big decisions in a haze of withdrawl.
As for the family knowing - it's none of their business at the end of the day they can be huffed or pleased but you and your wife are the people who have to decide what's best
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Lawrence
Posts: 4
Something I am curious about. Most of the people on this forum seem so positive and have a bunch a really inspirational quotes but their sober dates are all ending in 13. How many people end up relapsing?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Hi Dizzy..yes, there are a lot of us with sober dates ending in 13.....however you will see old timers crop up often.
I think for those of us who are newly sober, keeping our struggle out front and center is a pivotal part of our early recovery. The first steps are the most difficult, and a lot of the initial anxiety stems from the fact that we are breaking out of painful groove.
You will see a lot of people disappear, and a lot of people come back. You can also witness the baby steps of those who are successful, and it is empowering to see people gain momentum in their sobriety.
You will also likely see that you have everything you need within you to take those first steps and be one of the success stories!
I think for those of us who are newly sober, keeping our struggle out front and center is a pivotal part of our early recovery. The first steps are the most difficult, and a lot of the initial anxiety stems from the fact that we are breaking out of painful groove.
You will see a lot of people disappear, and a lot of people come back. You can also witness the baby steps of those who are successful, and it is empowering to see people gain momentum in their sobriety.
You will also likely see that you have everything you need within you to take those first steps and be one of the success stories!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
It's probably good to remember this is the newcomers forum - by sheer volume of numbers most peoples sober date here will be this year 
I have several years tho - some of us here have 10, 20 even 30 years...but, in the end, I don't believe it's matters too much what other people have or don't have...
we each run our own race...if you're determined to stay sober and you're prepared to do whatever it takes, you'll stay sober
I have several years tho - some of us here have 10, 20 even 30 years...but, in the end, I don't believe it's matters too much what other people have or don't have...
we each run our own race...if you're determined to stay sober and you're prepared to do whatever it takes, you'll stay sober
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
One other thought that I read on this site (and I apologize if I don't articulate this properly).
If you think of a herd of zebras being chased by a lion the ones that get caught and don't make it are the ones on the edges, not part of a group. Being surrounded by a group and in the middle can be crucial to survival.
One theme that resonates over and over and over here is the fact that most of us isolated at the end of our drinking careers. You will find so many posts about people who end up alone with a bottle watching the world go by. It helped me a lot to know that I was not the only one struggling with that awful feeling.
If you think of a herd of zebras being chased by a lion the ones that get caught and don't make it are the ones on the edges, not part of a group. Being surrounded by a group and in the middle can be crucial to survival.
One theme that resonates over and over and over here is the fact that most of us isolated at the end of our drinking careers. You will find so many posts about people who end up alone with a bottle watching the world go by. It helped me a lot to know that I was not the only one struggling with that awful feeling.
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