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Old 08-28-2013, 05:14 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Grantsville, Utah
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Now What?

I am new here, I am a 33 year old mother of 2 boys, one lives with me and the other with his father. I am desperately in need of help and guidance to give you a basic rundown, I left my parents alcoholic household to move me and my child in with my current boyfriend of over a year because it was just to hostile, violent, and verbally abusive. Unfortunately my boyfriend has started drinking, smoking weed and taking pills, and me being the co-defendant pleaser that I am have joined in with him, thinking that this is what he needs and I should just relax. I seem to have this effect on people and there addictions. I now realize that he is not stopping, not working, telling me basically its my parents fault and my co dependant issues that have drawn him to this behaviour, my options have run out, I have caused myself to relapse, I am hurting myself again, physically by cutting and mentally by blamming myself and my self worth I feel lost, I have once again lost the battle, my life will never be more important than drugs and alcohol and I can not let my son see any of this and if I do not stop get help and take actions now, I will screw up my kid and probably lose my life. When I made this move failure was not an option for me, now it seems that failure was the only option ever available, my parents have asked me back, but to what expense they do not see why I left in the first place only that I choose a man over taking care of my sick alcoholic mother, they will probably never beat this. I HAVE TO! I just do not see an option for me, my support system is non existent, I have no job, no car, no phone, no computer, am only able to do this because my mother is sick due to drinking to much the night before and so I am up here on her computer, which of course infuriates my boyfriend who tells me my co-dependency stresses him out soooo much he now needs a bottle..... please help, there are so many other details and I hope i do not come off sounding completely insane.
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Old 08-28-2013, 05:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You could call a Women's Shelter in your area and get the support you need to find a place to live and a job, so you could take care of yourself and your son.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:42 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Your bf has you on the defensive with his lies about it all being "your fault". It's not. He owns his own behavior and can't blame his actions on you.

How bad do things have to get? Your child needs a safe home. Call the nearest domestic violence center and tell them your situation. They can help you.

I wish peace for you and security.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

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