gracielane8

I have been married 20 yrs.....since day one my husband has used pot then went to cocaine.pills....crack till 2008 it all came tumbling down for him....we were indebt.he went to rehab.....long story short.....he stopped using and then decided to start using pills...he had a affair with a coworker in 2008 devastating me to say the least. I started taking pills to numb the pain I was not facing....here it is 2013 both have used pills...now I am getting clean an h. e says he still needs the pills......how can I get clean and stay clean if my husband won't.......I would appreciate any advice....we lost our daughter in1997 due to a rare muscle order.

ImperfectlyMe

Aww grace I'm so sorry about your daughter you must have tremendous grief to process and deal with! Getting sober without your husband may be harder but you can't wait on him. You need to do this for you for your daughter. Talk to you dr. Regarding detoxing perhaps it can be medically supervised. Im praying for you and hope the best!

resolute50

Welcome to SR,Gracie.
Sounds like you're ready to make a big step over to getting sober.
With or without your husband.

gracielane8

@ resolute50...I am ready to do this....I am doing it.....I have mixed feelings about my husband...how can he still want to do the pills with all they have caused us...

resolute50

Maybe once you set an example,you can get him to see the light.
When somebody is addicted it's not really a "want" thing anymore.
More of a need.

Insignifigant

You can do this. It won't be easy, but if you can get a strong support group it is not impossible. I am so sorry you lost your daughter. That pain in itself is alot to handle and while some people may just walk away from a cheating spouse, we are not all like that. Some of us remain committed to our vows and love for them but it does change us. Only you can decide how much you can handle and you need to surround yourself with people who will be there for you emotionally. The people on this site are great. They get what we are going through and lend us strength when we need it. Your husband isn't ready yet and may never be. That doesn't mean you can't be. I always tell people lead by example. Maybe seeing you beat this will give hime incentive to get help. Hugs and I hope your day gets better.

gracielane8

@Insignifigant...........I appreciate your kind words.....I am going to put forth the effort for me....I am gonna do this for myself....@ resolute50 thank you... .you know of any good articles to read?

Insignifigant

I don't know of any articles, just personal experiences but I do find it helpful at times to go online and research things. The hardest thing is to lose hope. It takes us to a dark place as you know and its heartbreaking because hope is always there even when we cant see it because sometimes we look in the wrong places. You are not alone ever. Everyone on this site has lost hope at some point. I love the insperational quotes. I also wrote myself a letter and posted it by my bed so that everyday I could read it. It was my just for today mantra. A reminder to myself that 1 day at a time was all I would take on, that it was ok to cry or feel lost, and that each day it would get better. Keeping a journal helps too. Use it as a place to get all those pent up emotions and feelings out that we tend to hold inside. Hugs. And just remember you are stronger today than you were yesterday. Always here with a shoulder should you need it.

resolute50

Keep reading some of the stories here as well,Gracie.
You'll find very quickly that you are not alone in your journey to recovery.

As a matter of fact I've seen a few time since I've been visiting here that some stories are very close to being the same.

Please visit anytime you need to talk with somebody.