PetraD

I'm going to my second AA meeting today. I haven't stopped drinking yet. I used to just have a couple glasses of wine in the evenings. Now I am up to drinking a bottle almost every night. I don't like it. I tried to stop, but only lasted three days. My husband drinks too, but I think he sort of manages his alcohol. He doesn't know I started going to AA meetings. I did tell him about a month ago that I want to stop drinking.

DoubleBarrel

Just keep in mind that the ONLY REQUIREMENT for AA is a desire to stop drinking.

Quitting left me feeling pretty overwhelmed, and it was not helpful to have people who were like DIVE RIGHT IN! DO THE STEPS! GET A SPONSOR! ETC ETC.

Go to meetings if you feel like it would be helpful, listen a LOT, and share a little, and gradually work into it.

That's my advice.

But first you need to quit. Do you have a plan?

PetraD

I don't have a plan. I guess that is why I'm going to meetings. To try to get a plan.

I don't want to tell anyone either. I'm kind of private like that. My hub and I are kind of having marital trouble too; though I don't think he would admit that. I quit smoking again (I blew a 4 year quit!), now i want to quit drinking, then address our marriage issues. I feel like I want to get myself together first. I don't know how to quit drinking.

doggonecarl

Quitting is simple. You just don't drink.

Staying stopped is the difficult part. Seeking out a recovery program, developing a plan, and adhering to it is the right direction.

Good luck.

Lightning Bug

Hope you get something out of the meetings. They do help!

DoubleBarrel

AA didnt help me quit, but it is helping me deal with my character defects.

Maybe check out a big plan?

They aren't mutually exclusive in my opinion. Identifying your addictive voice is really akin to the first step.

visch1

In listening to the AA preamble and knowing a bit about the Traditions, for many years, nowhere does it say we have to be sober to attend meetings. I would say it’s frowned on to be disruptive at meetings if we were drinking.

“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

DoubleBarrel

Im sorry if my post (and re reading it, it DOES APPEAR as if) suggested I thought that you HAD to quit before attending meetings. That is clearly UNTRUE.

What I meant was, once you have decided that you don't want to drink anymore, before worrying about recovery, the FIRST THING that needs to happen is quitting drinking.

That has nothing to do with AA doctrine.

JackDsMissus

Hi It's my first meeting tommorrow... same day I'm quitting! I got a plan together here on the forum actually. I came up with my own, had it critiqued and now it's fully underway. I need to now make the next part of the plan, which I am hoping to get advice and guidance from at the meeting? Such as how to handle triggers, how to handle social aspect and what not! Good luck to you and all of us! x

Bubovski

Give AA time Petra, you too Missus J.D.
I came back after a crash and really moving well now. both of you.

AnotherPaul

Petra, congratulations to you on your decision to quit and to get help with it. That is a big first step.

Regarding AA meetings, just go with an open mind and listen. Introduce yourself as a newcomer. And if something doesn't sit well with you at any particular meeting, go to a different one. Each group takes on its own dynamic and some will be a better fit for your personality than others. I have been to 5 groups, 2 of which are now my regular spots and the other 3 I attended only once each. I guess what I'm saying is that if one group doesn't resonate with you, try another. The program really does work.

Mountainmanbob

that is cool that you wish to attend AA

I have seen AA help so many drunks such as myself

the only requirement for AA membership is

the desire to stop drinking

sounds like you have that

best of luck wished for you

Mountainman

AlefVavResh

Petra. I'm thinking about going to one on Friday. How was your first meeting? Hanging out with a group of strangers is at the bottom of my skill set. I know that sounds silly, but that first step through the door intimidates me.

Bubovski

I was very uncomfortable with strangers for many years, a real socio phobe.
With AA MUCH OF THIS DISPERSED QUITE QUICKLY.
Besides early nerves are expected, and we all share a common condition.
Hope you go!

yukonm

I hope you continue going to the meetings. I just celebrated 6 years of continuous recovery (from both drugs and alcohol). I am still active in the AA fellowship. I think it's important to listen and try to find similarities not differences. Keep an open mind. I don't think AA is for everyone and there are many programs out there. I do think it is important to have some face to face support. Just keep an open mind. Good luck!!

PetraD

I have been to 2 and 1/2 now (could only make the second half today). The first was a women's group - about 12 people. The others were bigger coed group meetings - I'm guessing 30-40 people. I'm not good at estimating crowds. I'm still having a little trouble admitting that I have a problem, so the meetings are a little difficult. People are telling stories of how they wrecked their cars, went to jail, lost their homes, wake up and drink vodka with their coffee in the morning. I'm not that kind of drinker, so it was a little overwhelming.

The women's group was very warm and welcoming. I'm not sure about the whole 12 step program, but am planning to continue going to meetings because I like not feeling alone and I am keeping the whole not drinking thing pretty quiet.

I was very nervous, but you can walk in and out without saying a word to anyone (what I did at the big coed meeting) or you can open up as little or as much as you'd like (I opened up a small bit at the end of the women's meeting). So it is really up to you.

Go check it out - you can get up and leave if you want.