Time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Debary, Florida
Posts: 49
Time
Hello all,
I have had an account before on here, actually twice. I am still sober from the second one, i just neglected to use this site, which i feel right now i need to be on here as much as possible. I may not have actually picked up a drink but i do feel like i am nearing the possiblity of it with each passing day. I had a friend relapse after 6 yrs and it scared the bejesus out of me. It has also opened my eyes to the reality of how easy it is and how close i am to the edge. Some days more than others. I just need to write, talk it out, meeting in my town are few and my schedule unfortunatly does not leave much time open. so i just want to thank all of you on here for just simply being here and giving me feedback now and then. I know that i have come to a halt in my recovery. I feel like i have no goals, no plans for the future. I feel lost like i am just living day to day. And i like the routine, but i dont like the mindset. I turned 27 today, and sadly said this is the first bday in well over 10 years that i have been sober. Alcohol took ahold of me at a very young age, though i was not around it much growing up.
My feeling right now are confusing. Fear, hope, setback yet proud of myself. I have alot of things that i drank over, and the longer i am sober for the more they move into my head, and the harder they are to push down. I know i must face these things. I fear that i have set my standards to high for myself and i am not living for today. Instead of looking at the good things i just see the bad things. I am scared of taking on too much at one time yet i over occupy myself with things to keep my mind of working on things i know must be done.
Anyway, that helps a little. I know it probably doesnt make much sense. I am kind of scatter brain right now.
I have been physically sober for over a year now. which i am so thankful for. and i have faith that i have the courage and i know i have the strength to do whatever it takes to continue adding the years on to my sobriety.
I have had an account before on here, actually twice. I am still sober from the second one, i just neglected to use this site, which i feel right now i need to be on here as much as possible. I may not have actually picked up a drink but i do feel like i am nearing the possiblity of it with each passing day. I had a friend relapse after 6 yrs and it scared the bejesus out of me. It has also opened my eyes to the reality of how easy it is and how close i am to the edge. Some days more than others. I just need to write, talk it out, meeting in my town are few and my schedule unfortunatly does not leave much time open. so i just want to thank all of you on here for just simply being here and giving me feedback now and then. I know that i have come to a halt in my recovery. I feel like i have no goals, no plans for the future. I feel lost like i am just living day to day. And i like the routine, but i dont like the mindset. I turned 27 today, and sadly said this is the first bday in well over 10 years that i have been sober. Alcohol took ahold of me at a very young age, though i was not around it much growing up.
My feeling right now are confusing. Fear, hope, setback yet proud of myself. I have alot of things that i drank over, and the longer i am sober for the more they move into my head, and the harder they are to push down. I know i must face these things. I fear that i have set my standards to high for myself and i am not living for today. Instead of looking at the good things i just see the bad things. I am scared of taking on too much at one time yet i over occupy myself with things to keep my mind of working on things i know must be done.
Anyway, that helps a little. I know it probably doesnt make much sense. I am kind of scatter brain right now.
I have been physically sober for over a year now. which i am so thankful for. and i have faith that i have the courage and i know i have the strength to do whatever it takes to continue adding the years on to my sobriety.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
