Ge7ea

I am new here and this is the first time I've reached out for help. I've read some interesting posts.

not2late

You'll be so glad you joined. Lots of good people here. For once I don't feel alone with this problem. Share your story and you'll feel better.

ZoeM

Hi there Welcome to SR - glad you like the forum - it's brilliant

Dee74

Welcome to SR Ge7ea

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Hevyn

It's great to meet you Ge7ea! I felt so much better when I joined here - it was such a relief to talk to people who really understood. I hope it helps you.

resolute50

Hello, glad you found the site and reached out for help.

Bruce292

Thank you for posting. Reaching out for help is a healthy first step. This is a great place. Keep coming back and keep reaching out.

FourSeasons

Welcome!!!

ando68

Welcome to SR,,
I wish you well on your journey.

Ge7ea

Thanks all. I have a lot of baggage. I drank pretty heavily during the start of my marriage. Then it got better and then it got worse. Believing the lie of moderately drinking. In the end it cost me my marriage and a lot of other things. I do have a good job and recently someone in my life supporting me. I fell off the wagon this past weekend and now trying to clean up the mess. I am serious about sobriety. Not just due to the relationship. For my quality of life overall. I just feel like I need help.

13unluckyforsom

Today's another day say sorry and try to make amends - it may or may not always be so simple but let the guilt go. It's human nature to be imperfect I hope you sort this out. Keep posting

Ge7ea

Well I got a couple hours of sleep I sent an apology to my gf mom. She saw me Saturday when I came to do some work on their property. I had drank before I got there IDIOT!! She had no idea I ever drank. That was the first time in a couple of weeks. I had gotten into the habit of coming home and drinking due to not really having or wanting anything to do. I am ashamed that she saw me like that and I have been trying to stay sober. Typically the voices come around3 o'clock or so. I get off work at 5. Some days the voices are louder than others. The viscous cycle of alcohol is drink to feel better or mask over something that is painful and then be ravaged by shame and then drink to feel better. If that's not ridiculous I'm not sure what is. The thing that bothers me is the place I've given it in my life. This is day 2 of the rest of my life. My gf doesn't struggle with anything. No vices to speak of so that's one of the reasons I'm trying this. Nobody knows my struggle but her though so it makes it difficult. I did however MSG a long time friend and confess to him that I have been struggling. Hard to have accountability when you're concerned bout keeping your secrets. That's another vice of the diseases guess. Sorry bout the rant,just trying to get some things out.