40 days Sober and things are o.k.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 327
40 days Sober and things are o.k.
Good morning friends. I woke up this morning to a mess in the kitchen. I keep the kitchen clean always. I cleaned it last night after cooking quesadillas. I even vacuumed and mopped the floor. For those of you who follow my posts, you know that I have been debating on whether to ask my b/f to leave my house because he is still using alcohol and mj. I did ask him to leave a few days ago. We still hang out and date but I don't want to live with him anymore. This morning just confirms I made the right decision. That is a pet peeve of mine. He cooks in the middle of the night...(he must have gotten high and got the munchies) and makes a Freakin Mess. I mean, crusted food on the stove (massive amounts) on the floor by the stove...dirty pots and dishes everywhere and leaves trails of food on the floor from the kitchen to the living room couch where he ends up. When I woke up to make my coffee, I commented on the mess and asked him why he cooked and he said he made me an omelette with the bacon I bought and it was in the fridge. I said I don't want a cold omelette and why did you open the bacon I bought. I was going to make breakfast this morning for all of us, (me, my daughter and him). He tends to exclude her from the equation and she doesn't like him so much either. I am so glad I asked him to move out. I know this seems small but when you are sober like I am now...you see things clearly and this behavior really bugs the sh-t out of me. Other than that, I think I am going to have a good day and will walk across the street to the church in a couple hours and go to a AA meeting. Hugs and prayers to all.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 668
That's great Tate! Nothing is more important than your sobriety and your daughter. It doesn't sound like he's a good influence for either. With your continued sobriety I'm certain each day will move you closer to giving him the proverbial boot. Good luck...
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Good for YOU!
Congratulations!
“The outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state...Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”
― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh
Sounds like you two aren't compatible anymore, which is a good thing in my opinion.
Congratulations!
“The outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state...Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”
― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh
Sounds like you two aren't compatible anymore, which is a good thing in my opinion.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Apart from the annoyance of the mess, the first thing I was thinking was the risk of a fire.
Good on you for making the best choice for you and your daughter til he figures out what his priorities are. You have a life to live.
Good on you for making the best choice for you and your daughter til he figures out what his priorities are. You have a life to live.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hi Tate, so glad to hear that you've decided to get some space for yourself and your daughter. I know how stressful sobriety is, period, and having another drinker PLUS a fractious relationship in the house is hugely trying.
Oh god to I remember the cooking in the middle of the night messes with my ex. I HATED it more than most anything because I usually (even loaded) would clean the kitchen before I went to bed because a dirty kitchen in the morning drives me nuts and, second, I was constantly afraid of waking up in a fire. He was a complete slob when drunk and seemed particularly predisposed to tomato products (ketchup on the ceiling is fun to get off; tomato sauce on the couch even better!) and I would wake up to a disaster. Refrigerator door open and all my food defrosting, oven or stove top usually on, him passed out on the couch covered in food, the dog covered in food, and wall-to-wall mess. Awful. Cleaning that sh!t up with a hangover was even better
So I totally, completely, feel for you there, even though I know you're sober. Still sucks.
So glad to hear you're doing well and staying steady in your sobriety.
Happy Sunday to you!!
Oh god to I remember the cooking in the middle of the night messes with my ex. I HATED it more than most anything because I usually (even loaded) would clean the kitchen before I went to bed because a dirty kitchen in the morning drives me nuts and, second, I was constantly afraid of waking up in a fire. He was a complete slob when drunk and seemed particularly predisposed to tomato products (ketchup on the ceiling is fun to get off; tomato sauce on the couch even better!) and I would wake up to a disaster. Refrigerator door open and all my food defrosting, oven or stove top usually on, him passed out on the couch covered in food, the dog covered in food, and wall-to-wall mess. Awful. Cleaning that sh!t up with a hangover was even better
So I totally, completely, feel for you there, even though I know you're sober. Still sucks. So glad to hear you're doing well and staying steady in your sobriety.
Happy Sunday to you!!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
Asking him to move out is a good first step and congrats on your continued sobriety. HOWEVER, has he actually moved out? What is his reaction to moving out and when exactly is that going to happen? For you and your child's safety's sake, hope it's soon!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 327
He has moved out but he still has a few things he needs to pick up. It is hard to completely cut ties with him. I think it is going to be a slow process but he has moved most of his things out and right now I am only going to see him on the weekends...(if he is sober....) thanks for your support.
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