rubbersoul

Good luck and take care!

closetored

Best of Luck my friend (even though I don't think moderation works).

Funnily enough , I CAN moderate if I have to - If im in a strict/formal social setting and absolutely cannot get more. The effect of the first then wears off after a while and I'm OK. But this is nor real moderation I would guess.

I will never be able to drink normally and I wish you all the very best

Close (to madness)

lillyknitting

I admire your honesty but I don't see why you have to leave the forum completely just because you can now drink moderately. I would imagine there are a lot of people who go through down times in their life and drink heavily through that phase in order to cope etc, then return to their normal pattern of drinking moderately. It would be interesting to keep us posted as to how your moderation is going.

For me I tried drinking moderately for years. Once I take alcohol into my system I want more, and more and more. The only time I don't drink more is if it's not possible under the circumstances. So I know without doubt I am an alcoholic.

I wish you luck on your journey.

EndGameNYC

Hi, Nuudawn.

Though I tend to agree, I also diverge somewhat in a very particular way. First, I think the OP did herself a favor by starting this thread in the way she did. If nothing else, it leaves her an "out" to come back for support if things go sideways.

I've read many threads that begin with thanking people for their help and support, saying their goodbyes, and offering a plan that's usually described as a "better way," a way that frequently includes moderating. To me, these comments are eerily reminiscent of the kind of thank-yous, good-byes, and otherwise tying up loose ends that people who've committed to suicide offer before they leave. Though there's an element of honesty to these behaviors, it's often much more about resignation than truth-telling. (Not implying that the OP is at risk for suicide, but you get my point.)

I get a similar nagging ache in the pit of my stomach in each case.

Louise82

I'm worried about you Apophylite, but I sincerely hope you aren't an alcoholic and are able to drink normally. I think there's a difference between "drinking normally" and "moderating one's drinking" because people who are normal drinkers don't need to consciously moderate. They don't need to throw the rest of the mini bottle of wine away after adding a spoon or two to the recipe. They keep it for the next time they're cooking or they leave it in a cupboard and just forget about it because alcohol is not at the forefront of their mind.

Woah, don't know where that came from. I guess I'm just really worried for you and want the best for you and your family. Anyway, take good care of yourself. You know where to find us if you need us.

DarkDays

Don't beleive any one is a normal drinker , what's normal about drinking a drug. Brain washing and conditioning tell us it's normal.

wakko

Best of luck and I will say a prayer for success with your plan. The door is always open if you decide to return

Notmyrealname

Best of luck!

I'm not going to tell you you're bound for relapse because that would be presumptuous and impolite to tell you, especially not knowing you, short of a few posts on an internet forum. You know your situation much better than anyone here, I trust you have your own interests in mind.

So .. so long, and thanks for all the fish!

I hope I don't see you back here (nothing personal), but if . .you know .. well, you know where the forum is

numptie

I can kid myself that I can be a 'moderate drinker' or a 'social drinker'.
It starts with the 'I'm now cured' bit and then the 'just the one' bit....

After 11 very happy years sobriety (achieved with AA support) I became complacent and a forgetting occurred. Perhaps I wasn't an alkie after all! I could reward myself with a glass or two of wine after an exhausting day at work. Curl up in front of TV with a glass, then sleep. Have a social drink.

I noticed teeny tiny bits of the nightmare of alcoholism creeping back into my life....such as clock watching, disturbed, restless sleep; anxiety over nothing; short-temper; paranoia...all of this JUST having the UK 'recommended' daily alcoholic intake. I even thought if I stick to government guidelines (and be a 'good citizen') I could drink moderately. After all, it does relax me etc. (one of the paradoxes of wine)...

I recently confided in two friends that I had been drinking again - moderately. Never drunk. They were appalled. They gave me the tough love talk I needed to hear.

My partner does not accept I am alcoholic, even though he was there when I was at my very worst 11 years ago. He encourages me to prove to myself that I can drink socially or moderately. I'll be ok if I have wine with food etc. He really doesnt get it.

I lost my marbles, aimed for moderation, and 'forgot'...scared the cr*p out of me.

I need to see wine as toxic poison. Skull and crossbones.

You are not me. You may be able to do it. It does creep up on you though.

Best wishes

Dee74

welcome to SR Numptie

D

grocerease

I have loved reading your post, I will miss them. Best of wishes.

winkster26

this really spoke to me. I am on day 1

winkster26

I feel like you have told my story!!!! ESP with husband and past history. I love my red wine. If I could only finally give it up. Thanks for posting as I drink most nights and mostly wine and its getting tired as I wake up not feeling so well and wasting some precious days. I also self medicate as lots on my plate and know that's not good

numptie

I loved red wine once, Winkster, but it didn't love me back and it tried to possess me. At the time I didn't see my slow decline as I was kind of enslaved by it. When I stopped it was a huge relief and a liberation.
I posted here because 'moderation' is really, for me, the start of a slippery slope. It's too much of a dangerous dabble.

Maybe have a good long chat with OH?
Wine exacerbates rather than relieves - it creates and magnifies problems. We think it helps us 'cope' with stress etc...but really it does the reverse.

Replace 'red wine time' with something else that is less toxic? See how you feel in the mornings after a couple of wine-free sleeps?
You can give up, x

Louise82

Thanks and welcome. I hope day 1 is going ok for you. Be kind to yourself, get as much rest as possible. Red wine was my drink of choice too. I thought I would never be able to give it up. It was my best friend, or so I thought. The truth is it had turned into my worst enemy long ago. But I took things one day at a time and now I have 52 sober days and I can't believe how much better my life already is without drink. I know you can do this!