EternalQ

Speaking just from conjecture,
I've always figured at that stage one is so intoxicated, that:

1) we're only hearing every other word at best, and misinterpreting and distorting everything
and

2) the alcohol completely disinhibits the brain.

I would guess those two together are a perfect storm. But not the real us.

Cheetah1

Thank you for this post.

George3334

Great question..

One piece of research I found helpful was "Alcohol Myopia: Its prized and dangerous effects" (Steele and Josephs, Univ. of Michigan, 1990)

I found it helpful after trying to explain a period of blackout drunken nights in which, in my state of extreme intoxication, would find myself fixated on an angry thought and I would be spouting off what seemed to be simple solutions to very complicated situations...

The theories in the research helped me to see that drinking causes a form of "alcohol myopia" -- a form of tunnel vision. It can be a double edged sword because our brain becomes locked in a moment, depending on what we see in front of us (visually, emotionally) and our brain becomes a slave to that momentary thought pattern.

Anyway, the theories in the research helped me to understand a little better why I was prone to irrational thoughts and behaviors during heavy drinking nights.

maureen14

I think there has to be a sound understanding of responsibility for the things we do and say with black-out behavior. I think blaming the alcohol in any situation gives the substance too much power.

Dee74

Totally agree - and so does the OP, Maureen

D

longbeachone

I watched the movie "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" today, and it took me right back to all of the mean, nasty things said in the course of a drunken evening. I would bring up terrible things from the past and little slights that I could blow into giant insults, faults that I could find, just about anything that I could throw like a spear. My husband called me a mean drunk, and boy, was he right.

Nowadays, I have no interest whatsoever in accusing or bringing up the past, and I see my husband for the great guy he is, not for perceived faults or shortcomings. So I do think that it was in many ways the alcohol talking, or just bringing out the worst in me. My fault for drinking it, of course.

DisplacedGRITS

When i got really drunk i was a caricature of myself. Everything was exaggerated to ludicrous proportions. If i was happy, i was REALLY happy. If i was sad, i was REALLY sad. And when i was angry, i was REALLY angry. I was furious. I was a raging bull in a china shop. Often, my husband was the focus of my rage. What would normally just tick me off a bit threw me into an unsubstantiated fury.

So the question was there. Are these feelings real or is it the alcohol speaking? For me, it's a bit from column A, a bit from column B. But what is important for me to remember is that while that anger was there, i had no control over it. I had no reasoning behind it. It was like a match. You throw a match on the ground, it burns a little then sputters out. You throw a match on gasoline and FOOOM! Have that gasoline lead to a fireworks factory and BOOM! That was my anger when i was drunk. It was exhausting and it left me ashamed and confused.

Now, when i get angry, my anger takes it's course and fades gradually. I don't NEED to explode anymore because i can reason out the pros and cons of going nuts. Letting my anger flare out of control does me no good. It doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't solve my problem. It doesn't improve my relationship with my husband. I get angry, i let it go and i move on. In the end, uncontrolled anger is nothing but a toxin in my life. I hope this helps.

Missy7

Earthsteps--he videotaped it? That would be terrible. I'm glad my husband never thought of that!

Missy7

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I'm amazed at how similarly we have behaved--and I guess another look at "Who's Afraid..." is a good idea. I appreciated Displaced's statement that she was a caricature of herself when drunk--and that sort of defines Taylor's depiction in that movie...which I always thought was over the top. But hubby has not taped me (that I know of) so maybe I would see more Taylor in my own little movie. And she did have a problem with substance abuse, so...maybe she was working from that.

I always resist the idea that I behave out of pain, but it is possible. If we separate our intellect from our experience, there are a lot of negative feelings on record! It is overwhelming.

I also noticed that most of the responses to this post were from women. Is the male experience different? Are men less likely to blackout and then rage?

Thank you all again. Reading through these, all these days later, has been very moving.

MrBen

I've had similar experiences. I've drank to the point of becoming extremely angry, I would never hit anyone, aside myself. But I would be verbally abusive. Luckily my girlfriend is an angel and incredibly forgiving person. I do think it's the alcohol talking. It changes how you think.

ArcticSA

Yup,yup. ^ There is nothing worse than seeing an old video of yourself wasted. Who IS that person? I don't like her. How could anyone else stand to be around her? I hate to think of how many impressions people got of me that were just awful. Deeply ashamed.

foolsgold66

I don't know what my yelling and rage while drinking is. My wife and I have talked about it a little bit. I am starting to think it was my fleeting insecurities and fears being magnified.

wizard1969

I never believed that people who get angry or the ones that are "nice drunks" are showing their true nature only when drinking. A person who is drunk is under the influence of a very strong drug, and is out of control. The "real" you is the sober you.