TimetoStart

I've been dreading having to tell my work that I am having "personal" i.e. alcohol problems. I'm in a situation where I'm am going to need to take some time off work and have been scared sick to approach my boss. For the last few days I've not sleeping, having stomach issues and just awful anxiety.

I finally got the nerve up to approach my boss and it went amazing well.

And what was my first thought with the tremendous relief..... it was "wew, let's celebrate with a drink." It was a complete automatic response, like one of Pavlov's dogs, I think I almost salivated at the thought. It truly came out of nowhere.I just sat there and shook my head and said to myself, "Boy do you have a lot of work ahead of you girl."

I've tried to quit before, obviously not with much luck. All those times, I was afraid to go to AA. Now I can't wait for the opportunity.

Right now, I don't have driving privileges, live in a rural community with no public transportation - so I can't get to a meeting (and this is not what the post is about)

But this time around, I can't wait to try AA and accept any help I can get to help myself.

least

If you call the AA info phone line they may be able to arrange a ride for you to a meeting. Call them and tell them your situation and see what is available.

TimetoStart

Hi Least -

I tried that route last week. Got very frustrated and emailed AA hotline email address with my frustration. This is the response I received:

I regret your experience with our service was not perceived as helpful...our operators are volunteers and though they have been trained the info they retain is an uncontrolled variable..they should know that we do not provide or promise rides..out id beyond our scope...however though you did not like the
Location of the meeting you were given..it might be what is available in your area and now you have it...I'm sure you found a way to drink without transportation...we a.a.'s find a way...have a good night

Gottalife

Thanks for your post. We alcoholics seem to spend an awful lot of energy worrying about the future and feeling guilty about the past, that we don't have time to live today.

I guess AA showed me two things. How to stop drinking for good, and how to live life one day at a time. It's a great recipe for life and I hope you get there soon.

There is also AA Loners International fro those in remote locations. A chap I sponsor lives in such an area. He only gets to about one meeting a year, but he finds Loners a great way to participate in the AA miracle.

Mits78

They said this to you?

hellomynameis

do you have anyone who could take you? Say in exchange for cleaning their house? Or some action on your part to repay the favor?

hellomynameis

This is kind of rude but also kind of true!

Mits78

Timetostart, you'll find a way no matter what the obstacle is.

TimetoStart

Thanks everyone,

I was trying to post how conditioned my mind is to turn to a drink to celebrate, commiserate, relax, etc.... It scared me how it came out of nowhere.

I only have a few weeks - I'll get there. When I can, I'll be ready this time instead of so scared. I will still be ashamed, but I think I've had to bare my knickers enough that I can handle the shame. Plus I think the shame/letting down my guard will be a good thing.

pinkdog

Hi Time, that is so awesome that you approached your boss. It takes time to change behaviors. You can change your "go to" response. You should be so proud of the way you are taking charge. Very impressive.

TimetoStart

"You should be so proud of the way you are taking charge. Very impressive. " -

Thank you Pinkdog,


Not so sure I'm taking charge, but more willing I admit I'm an alcoholic and willing to accept help.