26 days - Pity Party Patrol
 

Today is day 26. In January, just to make sure I could do it, I stopped drinking for 25 days, but it was with the intent of drinking again, just slowing down.

This time is different. This time is to change my life. Each day is some crazy new WELCOME banner, but the one thing that is still lurking is this bizarre anxiety.

So many people on this forum have written about the same thing and that it will go away, but in my heart I have this little fear. What if it doesn't? I want to go to the doctor, but I want to wait until I really know that the alcohol is GONE. GONE GONE.

I drank alot. I know everyone thinks they drank alot. But man, I drank ALOT.

I feel better for sure. I mean I really feel better. The overall panic of having to drive to work hung over, to go out to public settings and not be fully drunk, all of that is gone. But this weird little anxiety, a small feeling...gnawing in the afternoons and evenings. I need for it to go away.

I need to be my old self again, but I have been so far away from my true self for so long, I don't know what that is anymore.

I think I am having an internal pity party for myself. Loser.

I wonder about 28 days. What is the significance? There is a movie 28 days about rehab. People go to rehab for 28 days. Zombies come in 28 days. What is it going to be for me?

I know I will be proud of myself. I know my wife will be proud of me. I will get up Saturday morning and be beaming, I made it to 28 days! I will go to the gym, we will go have breakfast and I will look forward to my next goal.

I will have made it 28 days, surely I can make it to the end of August. I need this anxiety to go away. Far away. Out of my heart, mind and stomach.

Hi solo, I also had the anxiety. I think it will go away. I believe sobertime will help more and more. I drank for a long time, so it took a long time to go away. Hang in there. If it becomes too much, the doctor can help. Sobriety is very worth it.

When I feel like pitying myself, I think of the fact that I stayed sober today. I did not pick up a drink today - no matter what happened in my home, or at work, or online. I did not drink. And I should be proud. Welcome - and way to go on your program!

HI solosweat :)

I really believe, if you want it, what comes after day 28 is day 29...and then day 30 :)

We can build a lot of obstacles for ourselves, some tangible and some not.

All you have to do tomorrow to stay sober is what you did today and the day before.
Some days will be tougher sure - but thats what support is for.

What's your support like?


You will find the old you - I did...just be aware it may take a little longer than 28 days or the end of August.

Stick with it - I don't think you'll be sorry :)

D

Glad to hear the anxiety is decreasing, but I would still go to doctor and get his/her opinion. Are you on any meds that could be causing the anxiety? Are you ingesting a lot of caffeinated drinks?

I know that anxious feeling well. For me, i had to distract myself when i felt that anxiety. I read alot so i would take time to do that or watch a show. Anything to get out of my head. I also worried about who i would be without alcohol. I can honestly say this lasted for at least 3 months. I think it's because i'd lost my sober self for so long. My personality had been repressed because of my drinking. All i knew was this crazy chick who had to have alcohol to function. Now i have to function without it and it kind of feels like i'm trying to write with my off hand. I have to learn how to be my true self. I wasn't my true self while i was drinking but i didn't care. I care now and that puts added pressure on me. I have to concentrate on living soberly and figuring out who i am. The good thing is that the farther away i am from drinking, the more i get to know me. It means a lot of exploring. What do i like when i'm sober? Am i okay doing that thing sober or am i just pretending to like it. In the early days, a lot of my mind was occupied by my drinking. It's not that i did things that i actually enjoyed. I just enjoyed being drunk and letting things happen around me.

Now, i'm exploring new things and that can be frustrating and scary. I'm scared that i won't enjoy things. The truth is, i just enjoy some things while i only enjoyed other things because drinking made me feel good. I have to concentrate on obtaining those good feelings though other means. It's also up to me to allow myself to feel good every day. I have to set myself up for success on a daily basis. That means i have to do the little things that contribute to my overall well being. Simple things like taking a shower, getting an appropriate amount of sleep, putting on my makeup, dabbing a little perfume on (for when i really need a pick me up), brushing my teeth, eating well....all these things are simple things that keep me in a positive mood throughout the day. If i let any of these fall by the wayside, i start to feel crummy. If i feel crummy during the day, i read here or make a quick gratitude list in my head. I say please and thank you and have a nice day often. They make me feel good.

The anxiety will eventually pass but it helps if you keep doing the little things everyday to keep your mood up and your anxiety down. Lots of my friends in recovery do yoga. I ride my bike almost daily. It's the little daily exercises you can do both physically and mentally that help in the long run.

Hi Solo. Congrats on 26 days sober. Alcohol makes existing anxiety worse so getting sober should mean that your anxiety will ease up with some more sober time. I used to have anxiety which was worse when i drank. Now i am over ten months sober i never get any anxiety anymore. If you are concerned you could ask your doctor, they will be able to advise you. Best of luck.

I am not sure what my support is like. Maybe that's part of my anxiety.