alphaomega

Alright Dee - I'm putting my faith in you (and everyone else that promises it will get better).

I'll give you those three months - if - and only if - you guys promise to hold my hand through days like this. Because this sux donkey balls.

Jaynie - the WRONG way on the highway ????? Seriously ??? ****{shudder}}}

Nuu - I know you got my sober back gurl. I didn't mean to come off like I was romancing the hooch. It's the devils tincture fo shizzle my nizzle.

I was just so weary it's the only death I've ever known how to articulate other than the way I felt today.

Heartfelt thanks and gratitude to everyone who reached out. It truly kept me focused and on the straight and narrow.

Damn, this place is special.

Xo

DG0409

I'm thinking that Jaynie meant the wrong direction, but not on the wrong side of the road.

SereneEdition

Absolutely we'll be here - glad to hear that you'll be sticking around!

@Jaynie - I had PAWS pretty badly too. I rounded the corner when I started to take vitamins (B complex, multi, and 12 fish oil) - YMMV.

hypochondriac

I always said I felt better when I was drinking. A lot of people didn't get that but it was true to a certain extent. It was different to the crappy I felt when I was drinking. I was so tired and achey for many months. I was mentally and physically worn out. I would recommend a trip to the doctors as I had an underlying medical condition that wasn't helping. But fixing that didn't fix the way I felt. The best I could figure out I was suffering from depression. I had just never experienced it in a physical way before. My ex used to get depression so that he couldn't get out of bed, and I could certainly relate to that during this period.

The thing is though there were things I did that didn't help. My diet was atrocious and I didn't exercise. I know it sounds trite but when I did finally start exercising, even just a little bit, it was like a miracle. Improving my diet has helped too. But at the time I had just quit drinking and I thought I deserved a big enough medal for that. The thought of being any more perfect scared me I also made it worse by wondering what the hell was wrong with me and just wishing I felt better all the time. I think this is a process we have to go through. It will get better in time. It took me a while but I have come out the other side with more energy that I ever had before. I hope you feel better soon alpha, but if you don't, don't worry about it x

jazzfish

We have to remember we have done real physical damage to our minds and body and the way they function. Healing is more than getting the booze out of our system. Healing takes time. Fortunately, a significant amount of healing can occur during the first few weeks and months, but it can take years before complete normal function is restored to the brain. Sometimes to keep my motivation, I remind myself with this graphic from an NIH study on the comparison of an alcoholic's brain with an alzheimer's patient. Scary stuff. As others have said, be patient and it will get better.

Dee74

I don't think any of us would be here if it didn't get better, AO

D

jaynie04

Yes, I got on going north instead of south (not going wrong direction....yet and hopefully never!!!). LOL!

But I had a pretty cool awakening yesterday and today. I have always had a really good sense of direction. Yesterday when I was headed to the rink (yes I went back and skated for the first time in 2 years, not pretty, but at least I got out there.) I followed the directions instead of going the "way I thought", and I got there no problem.

Today I headed out for a meeting in a new town. The directions said right, but I could have sworn I should have taken a left. I said, oh well, I guess I will listen to the help I asked for (Mapquest)and voila, two quick turns and I was there.

18 days ago I drove around in circles trying to find the same spot, I guess I am a work in progress. Just goes to show me that sometimes when I am soooo sure I should do things my way there might be a better way!

DG0409

I had problems directionally the first month, too. I had an instance or two of pulling up to a stop sign and having no idea where the heck I was all of the sudden.

The strangest problem I had was in the shower... I could not figure out whether I'd just used the shampoo or conditioner or where I was in my shower routine. It was nuts... I didn't have a problem hung-over, high, drunk, but sober I couldn't manage. That problem cleared up though after the first month or so, thankfully.

Pamel

Well, that was an interesting post! I am not sure I understood it, but best to you!!!

alphaomega

I made it. I suffered through the muck and I'm out of it, for now.

What a difference 24 hours makes. It's quite honestly, surreal. Hold on for one more day is not just a bad 80's song.

I look like I've fought a war though. And then I thought, if this is what I look like on the outside, imagine what the organs who battled on the front line are suffering.

This is one crazy a$$ disease.

But I made it another few days.

Dee74

There's actually a pretty good recovery message in that crappy 8Os song LOL

Elisabeth888

If you can make it through the cravings and the uncomfortability for a bit here and there, you CAN stay sober. It DOES get better.

At almost 11 months, I am not going to tell you that the thought of a drink never crosses my mind, because it does. But I take action, just like you are doing.

Croissant

I completely agree...some of the time. There have been times at work the past few weeks where I feel dulled, not really getting much done etc. I called in sick one day because I could not move off the bed...all day I slept. Probably around day 17 too.

Then it was great, healthy eating etc ....then a bit off the last few days, my insides were aching....I too felt like it was same garbage, just alcohol free....worse!

But I know I am just being bratty, I have to suck it up and my body has been put through hell, being poisoned just about every day for 10 years...what more can I expect than a few rough times.