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Well I hope this helps..

Old 08-21-2013, 03:03 AM
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Lightbulb Well I hope this helps..

I am hoping that by opening up it will help me understand more about myself. I have been struggling with drug addiction for a long time and eventually I ended hitting bottom using heroin. I was sick of using it after the first month I put it in my arm and I could not understand why I wouldn't stop. I eventually decided to get on suboxin hich helped a lot but I did not want to live my life emotionless. Emotion seems to be my pitfall and I realize that not feeling pain or and zaidy was the reason for my using. Next was trying to understand why I was in pain and so much anxiety
festered. After countless nights of staying awake while I was recovery, I started realizing that once I got an idea I could not get off it and to make a long story short after much thought I can pretty much conclude that it has become a fear of success or failure. I just felt like I had to share that.
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:05 AM
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sorry for the typos...
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:15 AM
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I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, are the drugs really the problem or is there something that I'm seriously afraid of that drugs are just covering-up. My psychiatrist prescribes me klonopin, but I do not really take it because it does not seem to help a lot. The anxiety seems to fester in my stomach and sometimes it is very terrifying. As I look back, when things did not go as expected in my mind, I could never feel like I could handle it properly like the pain would continue to be there forever. I know what it is now and now I need to get a hold of it. I am NOT even craving drugs Just consumed to why I continue to use.
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:22 AM
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I understand that it is hard to give feedback on the topics I am discussing, but I am just trying to use this as a way to let out my thoughts. Anybody can chime in if they please.
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:35 AM
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Hi Brian and welcome to SR. I don't have any experience other than alcohol, but I'm sure someone will be along soon that does It's 11.35am in the UK, so I think the USA is just waking up now x
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:42 AM
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yeah it was a rough night, my mind was racing, couple hours of sleep here and there. I just notice everytime I'm in bed and I get a fear provoking fault it can be very difficult.
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:49 AM
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I can imagine You'll find this site wonderful Are you wanting to stop the drugs?
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:51 AM
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Brian, you might find people who understand more if you try this link - it's another part of the site
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 08-21-2013, 05:44 AM
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Welcome Brian

I think everyone wonders whether it's the drugs (or the drink) or are we damaged in a fundamental way...

the only real way to find that out is to stay sober....

with time you'll not only discern who sober you is, but you'll probably be more capable of working out whats the best way forward.

you'll find a lot of support here...please do try and be patient though - these are the forums - they're a little less real time than chat

D
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Old 08-21-2013, 07:48 AM
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Originally Posted by ZoeM View Post
I can imagine You'll find this site wonderful Are you wanting to stop the drugs?
Oh of course I do, there is nothing else I would rather think of then knowing that I was clean. It's weird because when it comes to narcotics like klonopin, I never get the urge to want to use them like I do with H. I really don't have any cravings unless a user asked me to go or something like that, but other than that I feel there is something else going on with me that makes me not want to feel and I also read that article on this web page last night about underlying conditions
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