5 days and dealing with rejection
 

I'm 5 days today and emotionally I'm all over the place. My boyfriend is in the process of dumping me. The rejection is soul destroying. In all honesty he's no good for me. I know it's for the best for us to part company but I just don't like the rejection. I'm scared of no one ever loving me. I feel very "alone". I wish it would all just be done & dusted so I can at least know its definitely over and that door is closed. Instead he's just being hot and cold and my head is in such a mess over it. Especially with nothing to numb the pain.

2 weeks ago I would just have gone out and got drunk for days until he was contacting me again. That's not an option for me today. I'm finding it really hard to put it into words. Last Friday I had a drink to numb the pain of his cold attitude. Today I'm having to remind myself that god is doing for me what I can't do for myself. I would love to tell him it's over. He abuses drugs is emotionally unavailable and uses me as a meal ticket. But I don't for that fear of no one wanting me. For that delusional fantasy of what I "imagine" our relationship could be like! It's insane!!!!! Our relationship is non existent. I'm just allowing myself to be used.

Anyway I'm not going to drink over it because I deserve better. God doesn't want me to be in pain. I'm just frightened what the new chapter in my life will bring.

I feel weak and pathetic but I am reaching out. Being cringe worthily honest and praying that will keep me sober. Just for today x

Maybe take control and end it yourself. Why wait for him to make all the decisions.

Quitting drinking has led me to really look at myself and realize I've a lot of work to do on self esteem, value,worth, confidence, learning how to be positive., If I don't love myself no one else is going to love me.If I treat myself badly and have no self worth or self respect Ican't blame others for treating me badly too.

I've learnt I cancontrol my life and learn to like and love myself again

Maybe use this opportunity to learn to love yourself again,as part ofyour journey into sobriety.The right relationship willcome in time when you're ready. better to be single than in a toxic,damaging relationship

If you have faith in God May, then you know everything going to work out.
I'm pretty sure His plan is not for you to become an old Cat Lady :)

Change is scary and breakups, even from bad relationships, are rough - but it sounds to me like you deserve better than this current guy?

D

Friend-

First and foremost, congratulations on day five! :c011:
Good for YOU!

Second, on behalf on all good men around the world, I want to personally apologize to you. You not only deserve, but should demand that your significant other is also God fearing, sober, honest, hard working, intelligent, and faithful. The good news is that if you stay on this path, you will find him, too.

Finally, as to your relationship, my pastor once said something very poignant to me that I'll never forget......."True Greatness never goes on sale. It cost what it costs. They're not looking for someone average to buy it. Therefore, if you're a great man, or a great woman, don't you go down to the bargain basement of life just because you're depressed and/or lonely. For the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord."

Be Encouraged!

Good luck and God Bless :)

I am praying for the strength to take control and end it myself. I know it's about valuing myself and I think my current situation is a reflection of how naff I actually feel about myself at the moment. It's the doubting myself and my inability to make a decision around this which is keeping me stuck. That said, the knowledge is there, the information is in my head, but it's not in my heart yet. It will be though. Day 6. Whoop whoop

Aww May. I'm so sorry you're hurting. One of the things I have uncovered in both sobriety and in therapy is I battle with "relationship addiction" probably as much as I have battled with alcoholism. The festering roots grow in the same ole personal garden. I found this article rather enlightening awhile back. We typically resonate with those of the same emotional maturity and intimacy issues. Water seeks its own level.

Relationship Addiction

May, 5 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Rootin for ya. :egypt:

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...6UzllFijeaDXeA

Hi May, well done and if you can get through this you will get through anything! I am sure you will - you sound strong and level headed. This sentence of yours says it all really as far as the man in your life is concerned ;>)


Move on, start liking yourself more! and things will fall into place.

Take carex

Thanks for the link. Looking into it now.

I used to have insane expectations about relationships, too. I didn't love myself, so I hoped and believed that if I found someone to love me enough, things would be good. Of course, it's not possible to live a happy life and not like and love yourself. Use this as an opportunity to spend time with you and figure out what's loveable about you.

Sounds terrifying. By your choice to quit drinking, you have found courage. That proves that you can overcome fear and be a new you. Be brave and remember that the longest lasting and most fulfilling love affair can be with yourself. :-) congratulations May!
Edit: have you been to an AA meeting? I've been finding the compassion pretty helpful. I don't feel so much like a lone wolf(or jackalope).

Day 5 Rocks!
I agree..break it of yourself..be the one in control of your own life. Trust me, someone will love you again and love you right b/c you will be clear in your mind what love means next time....be strong sista..you can do this!