susasober1

Earlier this eve, I went out on a Duffy boat on the bay with 7 other ladies...everyone had wine except for me (I am almost 15 months sober)...I had water. Sometimes I think to myself...is this really me living this way now? Wine was my passion for many years and for a very long time I got away with drinking a lot of it, until I crossed that dreadful line. I can remember a time in my life when I actually felt sorry for sober alcoholics. Sometimes the idea of never drinking it again still freaks me out...

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

soap

can totally relate. some of my best memories are while drinking. but much more are some of my worst memories while drinking. and the terrible effects on the body and mind....

Redviper

I'm almost a year into sobriety and there are times I feel like I'm missing something when I'm around alcohol. Especially when I drove through Napa and Sonoma last week. I still have the occasional thought that creeps into my mind telling me I can drink again, I've proven I can quit so what's the harm. It's still hard to keep justifying my sobriety but I just can't go back there again. I'm healthier because I'm sober.

EndGameNYC

Hi Redviper.

Your comment is part of the thinking that preceded a three-year relapse in which I lost everything I worked for in the twenty five years I was sober.

susasober1

I sometimes think that too...but I know that I can't drink...at least not today. I'm glad that my head plays the whole tape through!

TopFlight

I'm 2 months sober and consider myself pretty strong when it comes to temptation, but every here and there the occasional situation will get to me. I got 2 birthday parties I'm supposed to attend within the next month that i know they will be tough. Though I know making it through tough times like that will only make me stronger in my sobriety. Also, in high temptation situations I tend to drink a red bull mixed with a juice or something. At least it heightens me to a higher social state and it also looks like I'm drinking so people wont be so curious as to why I'm drinking water or something. But ill only drink redbull in those type of scenarios.

The only other instance that I sort of dread is taking a girl out. I'm 28 years old and can't remember taking a girl out for the first time and not drinking since I was like 16 lol.

DisplacedGRITS

I'm sober living in Milwaukee and it's strange sometimes. People here are big on hanging out at the bar, going on pub crawls and doing brewery tours. Many basements have bars and every restaurant has beer and wine and mixed drinks as well as a huge bar area. Sometimes i think i'm living about two steps to the left of everyone. Heck, even our baseball team is the Brewers. There's a big brewery in my neighborhood! But since i'm living sober, i see all the wonderful, nondrinking things that make this city so great. The art museum, the lakefront, the art (oh so much art!), the cultural festivals, Summerfest sober, the amazing music! The biking, the hiking, the sports, the fishing, sober Packer games where i don't make a fool of myself yelling at normal plays. And the amazing people of Milwaukee's AA groups. There are so many wonderful things to do an appreciate here.

Most people think of Milwaukee and beer. We're so much more than that. It's not necessarily easy to live a sober life here but it's darn rewarding.

ReadyAtLast

I don't miss alcohol as such but I do miss the easy famililiarity of social gatherings when I've had a couple of drinks. The problem is after those 2 drinks I drink more, make an embarrassing fool of myself by doing and saying stupd things. I don't miss that. I accept I'm a non drinker. Yes some situations are more uncomfortable sober but I walk away,or don't put myself in the situations in the first place, rather than feel uncomfortable.

Topflight,I relapsed twice last year at 6 weeks,both in social situations when I was feeling really strong and hadn't had many urges. It just hit me, wham, unexpectedly out of nowhere. WIthin less than a week I was back to 2 bottles of wine a night.Not sure about pretendingto drink-please becareful someone doesn't fill your glass orhand you a beer. Nothing wrong with saying you're not drinking. Most people won't care at alland those that do usually have their own demons

Mountainmanbob

Amajorityofone

"Romanticizing alcohol" is a road I don't allow myself to go down at all. For me, it would feel like getting back in bed with the devil and telling him we're not going to phuck.

Today, I view my life as if it were the seasons. I was born in spring, I partied during the summer, now I'm into my fall season. Older. Wiser. more mature. A Father. Smelling good. Looking better. Full of color. Full of life.

Today, after my son goes to school, I'll go for a swim, then treat myself to a starbucks. After that I'll mow my lawn, edge the grass, and till my garden. If I still have some free time, I may head to the bookstore and pick out a new novel. Otherwise, I'll simply listen to some gospel hymms and take a short nap. When my six year old gets home from school, I'll read to him for an hour or so then take him to his flag football game. By the time that is all said and done, it'll be time for bed.

I enjoyed the summer season of my life but I sure as hell don't want to relive it.

Hope this helps

IOAA2

Remember When is a very powerful tool IF we use it. My last 5+- years of drinking wasn’t considered anything but low bottom drinking. Every morning coming to and saying “you did it again after promising myself I won’t drink tonight.” That along with the taste in the mouth, booze smelling skin and that why am I alive feeling. REMEMBER WHEN for me isn’t romantic.

Amajorityofone

I agree-

I once saw my own Father face down, passed out drunk on the floor with nothing on but his boxer shorts.

It was around noon. I was 9 years old.

367 days ago I made my then 5 year old son a solemn promise.
I am going to do something for you my Father never did for me. From this day forward I swear before All Mighty God to raise you 100% sober for as long as I may live.

Be encouraged!

bigsombrero

To the OP - I have mixed feelings about your post. I think it's great that you went on the boat, have sober time under your belt, and didn't drink. You hung in there. You were around the wine drinkers and didn't have cravings.

Then again...do you ever think that maybe you could change your social calendar? And avoid outings like this?

I have a similar situation where my old buddies get together once or twice per year to watch a football game - The Rose Bowl. Sure we're more "classy" now, as we're nearing 40, but there's still beer. A decent amount of it.

I don't think I should go to that party any more. I think I need to wipe that slate clean. What do you think? Do you think you should just avoid that type of thing in the future? Maybe then you wouldn't have such questions?

Amajorityofone

Your post reminds me of that famous quote.

Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future.

Personally, I don't associate with anyone that drinks, or smokes, or does drugs of any kind. Makes life a whole lot easier.

Food for thought

Anna

I think it means you have to accept that having fun will be achieved in different ways. For me, I had to accept that I wouldn't usually feel comfortable, being sober in social situations. Once I accepted that about myself, it was much easier.

Croissant

WOW....I have to tell you, just moments before I read your post, I was thinking of how grateful I am that my Father has never been a drinker, and that every conversation I've ever had with him he has been present. What a gift.

I think that is a pretty awesome thing and I'm sure your son will appreciate it one day.

Amajorityofone

Thank you

susasober1

I agree, the few years before sobriety were a living hell...and I do "romanticize alcohol" at times. I guess I just miss that great part of "summer" when I truly used to enjoy nature, hikes and all of that and then at end of the day enjoyed a "cocktail hour" with a good friend. Some of the my best memories are during those days...I got away with that for a very long time. Who knew this disease would progress??? It still feels like something is missing sometimes...even after a year it is going to take some getting adjusted to 100% sobriety!!

susasober1

Would you believe this was my women's bible study group I was out with??? It was!! And I can't blame them for wanting to toast with some wine on a boat cruise along a beautiful bay area?

It really doesn't bother me being around others who drink...everyone in my family does so there no avoiding it and no one I'm around overdrinks...And I agree no one cares that I'm not drinking...I just personally miss it sometimes....they say that it can take years to remove the craving...not surprising considering I drank for so long!

Nuudawn

I too have an epic romance with wine. Oddly enough it was as toxic as a lot of my "actual" relationships. Drinking is not the only romantic culture ya know. There are some amazing coffee shops out there in this world : ) I have had to "reframe" a lot of my mental pictures as to what is cool and satisfying. If I was going out on a boat cruise I would definitely bring alone something a little more pleasing than water. Maybe I would bring Perrier with lime and mint. I dunno. It's about making new pictures and scenes that don't include alcohol yet are still pleasing and soul nourishing.