Back to Day 1 :(
Don't worry about all the free time you have off in the upcoming days, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Most of the time when you start looking ahead you are "planning a relapse". Stay in the NOW, live in the present moment. That is the best way to get sober in my opinion. If you continue to not drink NOW, then it adds up. During your upcoming off days, why don't you plan on resting your back, sleeping, and watching some movies on your laptop or TV? Your body is crying out for a break, it's time you give yourself one.
Don't worry about all the free time you have off in the upcoming days, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Most of the time when you start looking ahead you are "planning a relapse". Stay in the NOW, live in the present moment. That is the best way to get sober in my opinion. If you continue to not drink NOW, then it adds up. During your upcoming off days, why don't you plan on resting your back, sleeping, and watching some movies on your laptop or TV? Your body is crying out for a break, it's time you give yourself one.
i understand about the anxiety even while sober. i still feel pretty awkward when i go to AA meetings. i tend to share but sometimes i feel like i'm sharing just because i think that if i share, i will be accepted or maybe i'll say something really insightful and people will think "that Lisa chick has really got it down. she's very AA savvy! we should talk to her and include her!" a lot of my first couple of months of AA were plagued by that thinking. right now, i concentrate on only sharing when i think my share can improve the silence and making sure that i walk up to a lot of people and say hello every time i can. it's helping with my anxiety a lot. it's not easy and there's a huge part of me that wants to hop on my bike the moment the meeting is over and run away but then i'm robbing myself of hearing wisdom from someone or being of service to someone. i can always leave a meeting and think "well, that wasn't very helpful but it was good to share in the comradery of a group of sober alcoholics." if i don't go to a meeting, i don't know what i've missed. perhaps something was said there that i needed to hear. perhaps there was someone there who needed to hear something from me. if i don't go, i absolutely lose out. i hope you can call you anxiety to heel before it runs away with you and you find yourself living the life of a hermit. it's okay to be uncomfortable around people but if you don't go and get used to it, your just feeding your fear and increasing your anxiety. the more you go, the less you fear and the less you fear, the less likely you are to be anxious about it.
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