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Day 31..what is going on with me?

Old 08-18-2013, 04:51 AM
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Day 31..what is going on with me?

Good morning everyone Day 31 here, and I have mostly only been posting on the July class thread during this stretch of sobriety but I have something I wanted to share to see if anyone has any insight.

As I mentioned, this is not my first attempt at sobriety by any means, but hopefully my last. During the last two weeks or so, I have been experiencing a huge inability to focus and irritability. At work and at home, I have so many things to be done but can barely accomplish a task completely, never know where to begin, etc.. I can cry at any given moment and fly off the handle at the smallest things. Also, I am noticing that I am going through what seem to me to be like OCD stuff (on a very small scale). Certain things have to be "just so"- I have to use the right pen, the lights have to be at a certain brightness, things have to go EXACTLY according to plan or I freak out. Those are just examples. I know that I am isolating myself, I have little or no interest to be with anyone besides my own children, and even they know when I need to be left alone. My mother, who knows nothing about my quitting drinking, seems to think it's depression. I have had depression before but always attributed it to alcohol, so now I'm just stumped. I'm trying to take it easy on myself, but I feel so stuck and frustrated. I have had up to 2 months of sobriety and varying other times in between but I have never experienced anything like this. If anything, I was always on top of my game when I was sober. Now I feel almost like I'm drinking and hungover again in certain aspects. In fact, sometimes I wake up the next day and think of my behavior the night before and really have to remind myself that I didn't drink. Any idea what this could be, what to do??

I do LOVE being sober and am enjoying so many of the benefits. My cravings have diminished somewhat as well, thankfully. But now that I feel a little bit less in the chains of alcohol, now I feel restricted by some of this other stuff in my head. Feeling like I'm going crazy or something !
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:19 AM
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Hi. I identify with much of your post. I never wanted to look at the fact that alcohol is a taker and not much of a positive giver. When I put my plug in the jug I still had all the negative characteristics and feelings I had when I drank, a void that needed filling positively. These needed honesty to recognize and work on, not bypass as I like to do with difficult projects. To accomplish this I needed flesh meetings with people who understand us and become an active worker on myself with no BS. Far from being perfect Iím comfortable in my skin most of the time, what more can I ask for?
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:27 AM
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What you describe is Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome or PAWS for short. Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) | What...Me Sober? This link really helped me to understand what was going on after I quit. It also suggests some things you can do to lessen the symptoms that you are experiencing. I tried to follow the advice about those parts as carefully as possible and it really helped.

The one time I quit before this for a short period of time, I didn't seem to be experiencing this so much, but I think that was because it was before my drinking had progressed as much.

Also, I read some other articles, but I don't have links- you can Google for post acute withdrawal though and find more info, too.
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:41 AM
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Hi forabetterlife:

I read your post and a few things came to mind. The first is it seems to be normal to get antsy right around an anniversary type date. By this I mean 30 days, 60, 90 etc. I know that I do but usually the day after I hit it and then in a few days it passes.

However, you stated that you are on day 31 and this has been going on over the past few weeks. What you said here put me in mind of another post that I've seen

Now I feel almost like I'm drinking and hungover again in certain aspects.
From what I've read on this board it could be PAWS and this link may be helpful.

Why We Donít Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) | What...Me Sober?

30 days is awesome!
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:42 AM
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Too funny, DG is already on the case!
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:53 AM
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I quit drinking a few times without AA and would only get to 2 months. Now I have 9 months. I DO remember having the feelings you describe, I think it's a healing of sorts. We are adjusting to a base line without alcohol. I did feel angry a lot, had crying spells, trouble sleeping. It really does mimic depression in a lot of ways. I can say that after 3-4 months I really started leveling out. In other words, I think what you are experiencing is normal so just feel what you are feeling and know it will get better
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Old 08-18-2013, 05:55 AM
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IOAA2, I am laughing like crazy to the cigarette quote hahahaha I was the SAME way!
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Old 08-18-2013, 06:24 AM
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I can relate too. If you think about it it takes years to get oursleves to the point where we need to quit and it takes more than a few days to get 'right' again. It's very normal in early sobriety to feel the way you do.Your brain and body are still adjustine. After the initial euphoria ofquitting wore off I felt numb at 2-3 months. Iwent tothe doc and got a short course of anti-ds. I took them for 4 months and now (8months) feel a whole lot better. It does take time but it's worth it
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Old 08-18-2013, 06:59 AM
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Sounds like untreated alcoholism. Other than not drinking, what are you doing to recover?

Those 12 steps helped me immensely.
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Old 08-18-2013, 06:45 PM
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Thanks guys...PAWS had actually never really occurred to me, but that sounds pretty much like it. I just need to suck it up until my body and brain gets used to life without alcohol. It does feel better to have a "reason" rather than just thinking I'm actually crazy.
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Old 08-18-2013, 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Good morning everyone Day 31 here, and I have mostly only been posting on the July class thread during this stretch of sobriety but I have something I wanted to share to see if anyone has any insight.

As I mentioned, this is not my first attempt at sobriety by any means, but hopefully my last. During the last two weeks or so, I have been experiencing a huge inability to focus and irritability. At work and at home, I have so many things to be done but can barely accomplish a task completely, never know where to begin, etc.. I can cry at any given moment and fly off the handle at the smallest things. Also, I am noticing that I am going through what seem to me to be like OCD stuff (on a very small scale). Certain things have to be "just so"- I have to use the right pen, the lights have to be at a certain brightness, things have to go EXACTLY according to plan or I freak out. Those are just examples. I know that I am isolating myself, I have little or no interest to be with anyone besides my own children, and even they know when I need to be left alone. My mother, who knows nothing about my quitting drinking, seems to think it's depression. I have had depression before but always attributed it to alcohol, so now I'm just stumped. I'm trying to take it easy on myself, but I feel so stuck and frustrated. I have had up to 2 months of sobriety and varying other times in between but I have never experienced anything like this. If anything, I was always on top of my game when I was sober. Now I feel almost like I'm drinking and hungover again in certain aspects. In fact, sometimes I wake up the next day and think of my behavior the night before and really have to remind myself that I didn't drink. Any idea what this could be, what to do??

I do LOVE being sober and am enjoying so many of the benefits. My cravings have diminished somewhat as well, thankfully. But now that I feel a little bit less in the chains of alcohol, now I feel restricted by some of this other stuff in my head. Feeling like I'm going crazy or something !

Its just withdrawal, and perfectly normal. It takes a long time for the body to go back to "normal" and to heal. Look up PAWS if you havent already heard of it. Its something we all run into and can be a bummer if you arent aware of what it is. Congrats on the 2 weeks.
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