Back to Day 1 :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Back to Day 1 :(
Hating myself more and more now .. Doctors appointment Tue. So hopefully I will have the courage to say something . Not even sure how I am going to make it through work tonight; but I HAVE to go ..
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
AugustWest, please go to work, make it through, better to have a job than not. I know it's frustrating and I can't count all the times I relapsed but I didn't give up and now I'm 3 years sober. Rootin for ya. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
I was speaking with someone today (from AA) who relapsed on day 91. Got a DUI, hit someone, ended up in jail overnight. She says she doesn't want anyone in the AA program to know (except for a select few of us she called) and she is also hiding this from her family. Getting honest with ourselves and others is the only way to get and stay sober. But we have to be so in ALL venues, to everyone. I am glad you came on here to share with us and I hope you do so with your dr and those closest to you in your 3D life. I speak from experience...it's humiliating but humbling when we go back out and are truthful. Let's us starts anew without added guilt or shame in my opinion. I hope this time you can get it August.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
AW I hope you can find some peace somehow. Mine didn't start until I surrendered to my addiction to alcohol which had me by the b..ls. Surrendering sounds un-American but I needed to in order to survive. For me it worked slowly, one day/minute at a time, but it worked. I had to recognize my characteristic of defiance, anger, control, following directions and more to work at what I needed, to live sober and be comfortable in my own skin. Each of us can arrive at this goal from different paths if we work at it and it’s certainly not always easy. Hang in there if you can and good luck.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by AugustWest11 
Thanx Guys; I'm trying to hang on best I can right now .. So very hard when I want a beer..
You've already made a good choice by coming here today though, why not keep the momentum and put that beer out of your mind.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by AugustWest11
Thanx Scott; trying to ... But it's all I know .. Sounds sad; but have been doing it so long now to kill all my pain.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Alcohol was my solution too AW...when something was too hard or too scary I got drunk.
Didn't solve the problems of course, so I had to drink again....and again...and again.
in the end my solution was worse than the problems that got me drinking.
I think it's time you found better ways to deal with the pain, more support, more changes.
It's hard and it's scary yeah - but what kind of life do you want? what kind of future?
see that Dr and be totally honest....it's a start.
Then maybe think of more support?
D
Didn't solve the problems of course, so I had to drink again....and again...and again.
in the end my solution was worse than the problems that got me drinking.
I think it's time you found better ways to deal with the pain, more support, more changes.
It's hard and it's scary yeah - but what kind of life do you want? what kind of future?
see that Dr and be totally honest....it's a start.
Then maybe think of more support?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Boston, MA.
Posts: 1,756
Thanx Guys .. Dee; support is gonna be hard to come by when I have no friends & hate meeting people ..
Originally Posted by Dee74
Alcohol was my solution too AW...when something was too hard or too scary I got drunk.
Didn't solve the problems of course, so I had to drink again....and again...and again.
in the end my solution was worse than the problems that got me drinking.
I think it's time you found better ways to deal with the pain, more support, more changes.
It's hard and it's scary yeah - but what kind of life do you want? what kind of future?
see that Dr and be totally honest....it's a start.
Then maybe think of more support?
D
Didn't solve the problems of course, so I had to drink again....and again...and again.
in the end my solution was worse than the problems that got me drinking.
I think it's time you found better ways to deal with the pain, more support, more changes.
It's hard and it's scary yeah - but what kind of life do you want? what kind of future?
see that Dr and be totally honest....it's a start.
Then maybe think of more support?
D
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
hey, AW. keep posting and reading here for now. i know how hard it is to pick yourself up off the floor when a relapse happens. we're here to help get you up. it's okay to be sad about the relapse but do not let that sadness fall into despair. sadness is okay. it's a normal human emotion. it can even be healing if it runs it's natural cycle. despair is toxic. sadness that feeds on itself, like a snake eating it's tail, turns to despair. despair is sadness without hope. have hope, AW. you've proved yourself capable of sobriety. you now have to look at your relapse and figure out how it went wrong. take a deep breath and pledge yourself to honesty. honesty with the people in your life and honesty with yourself. doing that will help you in more ways than you'll ever believe. remember, you don't ever have to feel this way again. you don't ever have to drink again. be honest, keep reaching out for help and don't despair. we're here for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
You can do this AW!
Get to a doctor and start doing something positive for yourself. It will help your outlook and you CAN take control of your life.
Do you hate meeting people more than you hate how you feel right now? You need some help with this and the right "people" coupled with your own desire to change your life can make it happen....but first and foremost, you have to know that you need and want this change. Gotta start with YOU!!
We are here to help...and you don't even have to meet us! LOL!!
Thinking of you!
Get to a doctor and start doing something positive for yourself. It will help your outlook and you CAN take control of your life.
Do you hate meeting people more than you hate how you feel right now? You need some help with this and the right "people" coupled with your own desire to change your life can make it happen....but first and foremost, you have to know that you need and want this change. Gotta start with YOU!!
We are here to help...and you don't even have to meet us! LOL!!
Thinking of you!
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by AugustWest11
Thanx Guys .. Well; the first real test how "bad" I want it in a few minutes I have to go get Cigs and I am petrified ..
don't anticipate failure. just live in each successful moment until this trial passes.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
