Not dealing well...
 

Hi everyone. I,m REALLY new to this and don,t normally ask for help. but i am finally at a standstill. i,m 25 and have been married for two years now. we are back to living with my parents with our two kids and well things just aren't good. he started lying and drinking about a month after the wedding. i called him out but the drinking wasn't really THAT bad so i let it go. Now i found out this morning that he has stolen my box of special occasion alcohol and 90% of my parents alcohol...and they had quite a collection. I found out in a way that surpasses to say sucks. my two year old found an empty 40 hidden under a pile of dirty clothes under my hubby's desk IN THE PLAYROOM! Now I just don't know what to do. on top of him stealing the alcohol his doctor told him 3 years ago no alcohol due to health problems.....I,m not even sure what I want but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advanced!

Hi Layla. I don't really have any advice, but the forum seems to have slowed down and I didn't want you to think you were being ignored.
xxxx

Welcome Layla! What a tough situation you are in, the question is what do you feel you need to do about it? Is tough love an option, forcing him to move out? I know that is hard when kids are involved but, in the long run, it is better for them than seeing his destructive behaviors. I can only imagine what this is doing to your relationship with your parents. Take a deep breath and think about what you are willing to do in order to protect you and your kids. You will figure out, in time, what is right for all of you.

Please keep posting, you also will find great support in the friends and family forum.

Hi Layla :)

I'm sorry for your situation. That does suck.

I think you need to think about your boundaries - how much can you your kid and your parents take?

do you want your child growing up around this?
those are the kinds of questions every loved one of an alcoholic needs to ask.

Have you spoken to your husband yet, at all, about this?

Have you thought of something like AlAnon - you would find a lot of support there?

there's a lot of support, experience and hope here too :)
I hope you'll also check out our Family and Friends forums too :)

D

Hi Layla,

I don't really have any advice either other than to make sure you and your children are safe. Is he intoxicated now and in the house with you?

Just know we're all here for you. You're NOT alone in this.

Rhiannon

Do check out the friends and family forum Dee linked to. Lots of experience there from folks who have been in your shoes. :hug:

Hi and Welcome, Layla and I know you will find support here.

Thanks
 

Thank you everyone for all of the support. I actually tried talking to him about last night. But he only denied it and said the kids are lying even though the proof was in my hands. I know Ive always been a little to trusting and will to give "the benefit of the doubt" And well frankly that is just making me all the more confused. Am I stupid to just let it go and hope things turn out alright? Even IF I have a sinking suspicion that SOMETHING is going on?

Layla--of course he denied it. This is what alcoholics do; it's the nature of the beast. Please do NOT "just let it go and hope things turn out alright", especially since there are kids involved.

I would second the suggestions to head over to the "Family and Friends" section of the forum. There, you'll learn a lot about what you can expect in the future if you DO "let it go." There are a bunch of stickied threads at the top of that page; if you have time, try to gradually read thru them. You'll learn an awful lot that way.

I would also very strongly suggest checking into Alanon. Here's a link to help you find a meeting. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Alanon can be a great source of both education and support for you. I hope you get to some meetings as soon as possible (many have child care available at the meeting, if that's an issue for you).

Welcome to SR, and please, for your own sake and that of your children, keep your eyes open and learn what you are up against. "Hoping for the best" w/no other action taken is almost bound to have a bad ending in these situations....