Newcomer - hello everyone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 163
Newcomer - hello everyone
Hello All,
It's Saturday morning and I am on Day 6...... This is my first post, I haven't posted before even though I have been signing in and reading lots of posts. I think I held off introducing myself as I wanted to be sure this time that I was totally committed to stopping, not just for a few days but forever. I was very tempted last night to post as it was a hard night to get through Fridays are normally a night I would get totally blotto as I don't have to work on saturday mornings.
I have found so much inspiration this last week by reading your stories and posts, and it has made it easier to know that there are other people out there struggling this horrible battle with alcohol - I thought it was just me - that there was something wrong with my character - that I was too weak or stupid not to be able to control my drinking.
The SR community are the first people I have told, I haven't even told my husband and unbelievably he doesn't seem to have noticed that this week I haven't had a drink ( he doesn't drink much himself, just an occasional beer), maybe he has noticed but isn't saying anything, I don't know!!
My observations so far this week are, I love the mornings without waking up in a thick cloudy fugg, I can just start my day, I feel proud of myself rather than embarrassed and guilty about my drunken behaviour the night before.
There is so much more time - this is not necessarily a good thing right now, I'm not sure how to fill the evenings without looking through the end of a bottle, husband watches TV continuously which I find boring so thats an excuse to drink, I have taken lots of baths and had very early nights, which has helped because I have had a couple of days (day 2 + 3) where just about every muscle I didn't even know I had ached.
Getting to sleep is difficult and when I do I dream a lot, but what sleep I am getting is rejuvenating, so much better than alcohol induced sleep whereby you just sweat your way through a few hours of unconsciousness wake up dieing of thirst and a raging headache not sure what you did, slowly remembering you called lots of your friends and cant remember what you were ranting on about!!!
I need to fill my time more constructively, but right now I feel brittle as if I might shatter if I take on anything to taxing, so today I am going to buy some books and start reading again, and probably the biggest bottle of bubble-bath I can find.
I'm so pleased that I have found this community - its great to know your not alone.
Thank you
It's Saturday morning and I am on Day 6...... This is my first post, I haven't posted before even though I have been signing in and reading lots of posts. I think I held off introducing myself as I wanted to be sure this time that I was totally committed to stopping, not just for a few days but forever. I was very tempted last night to post as it was a hard night to get through Fridays are normally a night I would get totally blotto as I don't have to work on saturday mornings.
I have found so much inspiration this last week by reading your stories and posts, and it has made it easier to know that there are other people out there struggling this horrible battle with alcohol - I thought it was just me - that there was something wrong with my character - that I was too weak or stupid not to be able to control my drinking.
The SR community are the first people I have told, I haven't even told my husband and unbelievably he doesn't seem to have noticed that this week I haven't had a drink ( he doesn't drink much himself, just an occasional beer), maybe he has noticed but isn't saying anything, I don't know!!
My observations so far this week are, I love the mornings without waking up in a thick cloudy fugg, I can just start my day, I feel proud of myself rather than embarrassed and guilty about my drunken behaviour the night before.
There is so much more time - this is not necessarily a good thing right now, I'm not sure how to fill the evenings without looking through the end of a bottle, husband watches TV continuously which I find boring so thats an excuse to drink, I have taken lots of baths and had very early nights, which has helped because I have had a couple of days (day 2 + 3) where just about every muscle I didn't even know I had ached.
Getting to sleep is difficult and when I do I dream a lot, but what sleep I am getting is rejuvenating, so much better than alcohol induced sleep whereby you just sweat your way through a few hours of unconsciousness wake up dieing of thirst and a raging headache not sure what you did, slowly remembering you called lots of your friends and cant remember what you were ranting on about!!!
I need to fill my time more constructively, but right now I feel brittle as if I might shatter if I take on anything to taxing, so today I am going to buy some books and start reading again, and probably the biggest bottle of bubble-bath I can find.
I'm so pleased that I have found this community - its great to know your not alone.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In my head...tis dark in here!
Posts: 213
Hi Vicki 
. I can totally relate to your post...I had four days this week and was starting to actually sleep again and with dreams! ...that feeling of waking up guilt free and actually remembering the night before is priceless...if only I had held on to that yesterday instead of giving in to the demon. I'm totally agree about having more time and struggling with ways to fill it and stay occupied ...perhaps just add one more small thing to your day/evening that you wouldn't normally do and build from there. Well done on the six days and keep going! 
. I can totally relate to your post...I had four days this week and was starting to actually sleep again and with dreams! ...that feeling of waking up guilt free and actually remembering the night before is priceless...if only I had held on to that yesterday instead of giving in to the demon. I'm totally agree about having more time and struggling with ways to fill it and stay occupied ...perhaps just add one more small thing to your day/evening that you wouldn't normally do and build from there. Well done on the six days and keep going! Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi Vicki and welcome to SR, it's really good to have you with us.
Giving up alcohol is definitely the way to go, I've never regretted it. My life is so much better now...and I also remember waking up trying to piece together foggy memories of the night before! Ugh!
Read and post lots, everyone is so supportive here x
Giving up alcohol is definitely the way to go, I've never regretted it. My life is so much better now...and I also remember waking up trying to piece together foggy memories of the night before! Ugh!
Read and post lots, everyone is so supportive here x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi Vicky
Welcome to SR
The time issue does seem so strange at first. You will adjust though and find there isn't enough time in the day to do all your sober things sometimes I just do nothing and I love it. I don't know how on earth I managed to get anything done when I was drinking as was drinking wine every night once 5.00 came
Welcome to SR
The time issue does seem so strange at first. You will adjust though and find there isn't enough time in the day to do all your sober things
sometimes I just do nothing and I love it. I don't know how on earth I managed to get anything done when I was drinking as was drinking wine every night once 5.00 came
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 163
Thank you every one for your kind messages - I think I will be using this site quite a lot in the coming weeks/months.
It feels at the moment a bit as if I am on a roller coaster for example this morning when I posted for the first time I was feeling great and clear headed it is now 2.00pm and I feel very flat and weary, it's very grey outside and I know I have to keep positive especially in these early weeks so I don't make a silly slip back to my old habits.
I have been reading about AVRT which is what I have been doing to get to day 6, does anyone here have any experience of it?
It feels at the moment a bit as if I am on a roller coaster for example this morning when I posted for the first time I was feeling great and clear headed it is now 2.00pm and I feel very flat and weary, it's very grey outside and I know I have to keep positive especially in these early weeks so I don't make a silly slip back to my old habits.
I have been reading about AVRT which is what I have been doing to get to day 6, does anyone here have any experience of it?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I used AVRT.It made total sense to me and helped me immensely in the early days/weeks. Have you got the Rational Recoevry book? It's more detailed than the online stuff and you can get it for a few pounds on Amazon or ebay. Once you've read it do read it againstraight away as it's amazing how much you miss.
There's a great thread in the secular forum about RR/AVRT where you'll get great help and support plus any questions answered from more experienced in AVRT sober people
(not me)
There's a great thread in the secular forum about RR/AVRT where you'll get great help and support plus any questions answered from more experienced in AVRT sober people
(not me)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi Vicki, welcome and congratulations on sobertime. It will get better. The boredom will ease and you will find pleasure in blue skies, green grass, and things like before you ever drank. You are doing an awesome job! Keep going. Sobriety is great! 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: montclair ca
Posts: 19
Hello. Im also on day six and it's getting better. I find your story is very similar to mine. Husband still hasn't said anything and I haven't said anything to him about it either. Im sure he has noticed even tho we've been sleeping in seperate rooms for years. Last night he made three excuses to go out and every time asked if I was sure I didn't need anything. I think he's starting to panic. Sucks living with an enabler but if we can face the addiction we can face anything, right? Good luck on day six
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 163
Hi Sherrie,
Hope you had a good weekend, I wondered if you have told your husband yet, mine noticed and we had a bit of a set too on Sunday!! Not sure how to deal with this at all as it is something I hadn't even anticipated. I would like to know more about the term enabler you mentioned...... On Sunday morning even though husband could see I wasn't drinking he went to shops and bought me a bottle of Brandy!!!!
I put it straight away in a cupboard which is where it still is.
Today is day 9 and I am still determined in some ways more determined now as I feel that a certain someone wants to see me fail.
Is this normal, does anyone else have any experience of this?
Happy Tuesday to everyone
x
Hope you had a good weekend, I wondered if you have told your husband yet, mine noticed and we had a bit of a set too on Sunday!! Not sure how to deal with this at all as it is something I hadn't even anticipated. I would like to know more about the term enabler you mentioned...... On Sunday morning even though husband could see I wasn't drinking he went to shops and bought me a bottle of Brandy!!!!
I put it straight away in a cupboard which is where it still is.
Today is day 9 and I am still determined in some ways more determined now as I feel that a certain someone wants to see me fail.
Is this normal, does anyone else have any experience of this?
Happy Tuesday to everyone
x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: montclair ca
Posts: 19
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Hi Viki! Congrats on day nine I'm on eight and can't believe I've made it this far I totally understand you're determination to prove that you can do this despite what others seem to want but don't loose sight of the fact you are doing this for you. Im curious if you were an alcoholic when you met your husband or did you become one after? In my case I was already and I feel as though his fear is that I will become a stranger to him. Does that make sense?
Hi Viki! Congrats on day nine
I'm on eight and can't believe I've made it this far I totally understand you're determination to prove that you can do this despite what others seem to want but don't loose sight of the fact you are doing this for you. Im curious if you were an alcoholic when you met your husband or did you become one after? In my case I was already and I feel as though his fear is that I will become a stranger to him. Does that make sense?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 163
Hi again,
Well done to you for day 8
Thats a good question, I used to drink when I met him but not sure exactly when the cross over was from ohh lets get drunk to OMG I need a drink today!!
In the early days I didn't drink everyday but often when I did I got totally rat a@@ed, however so did everyone so I didn't really notice that it was getting out of control.
In the latter years it has slowly crept up to having a bottle of wine open whilst cooking the evening meal then finishing it whilst eating most evenings, but on the weekends hitting the spirits and getting wasted.
Then of course the spirits started to creep into during the week as well - and so on and so on - not good.
But this has been going on for quite some years now so by me stopping it is going to be a major change to the way we live, I'm quite active and if I'm not drunk I like to be doing something, maybe its fear on his part???
V x
Well done to you for day 8
Thats a good question, I used to drink when I met him but not sure exactly when the cross over was from ohh lets get drunk to OMG I need a drink today!!
In the early days I didn't drink everyday but often when I did I got totally rat a@@ed, however so did everyone so I didn't really notice that it was getting out of control.
In the latter years it has slowly crept up to having a bottle of wine open whilst cooking the evening meal then finishing it whilst eating most evenings, but on the weekends hitting the spirits and getting wasted.
Then of course the spirits started to creep into during the week as well - and so on and so on - not good.
But this has been going on for quite some years now so by me stopping it is going to be a major change to the way we live, I'm quite active and if I'm not drunk I like to be doing something, maybe its fear on his part???
V x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: montclair ca
Posts: 19
Yes I think that is what it is. In my opinion men don't adapt well to change. Speaking only for myself ,now that I'm seeing clearly I'm not necessarily liking what I see. I think that's what he's afraid of.
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