Primal Unleashing
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Primal Unleashing
I lost it last night. I went bananas, and proceeded to lose my mind. My husband is on call, and miserable with his existence. He needs to change occupations. He freaked out on me in the afternoon, most of his words were not valid. He was spewing venom and acting careless with his choice of words. I was hurt, cried on the couch and tried to get my homework in all the while my brain was in haze.
So, when the evening rolls around I am still dealing with the aftermath of the afternoon. We get into again, and then there is a primal screaming that was released out of my mouth. I just could not take it any longer, the back and forth, the this and that, the stubborn crazy nonsense that drove me into a place of insanity. When he tried to keep talking during the Primal unleashing, I quickly stopped him and just plainly screamed "STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT!!!!!!! My feet were pounding the ground, and I wanted so badly to destroy every last thing in this house. BURN IT THE HELL DOWN. felt like i had been pushed to a point of no return, and this place is frightening for anyone.
I did not drink. I think I scared the neighbors, and I most definitely scared my husband. I am fine now. Survival mode kicked in and I was ready to take action.
I was not at my best, but who is all the time. I have a interview today. I think it will go well.
So, when the evening rolls around I am still dealing with the aftermath of the afternoon. We get into again, and then there is a primal screaming that was released out of my mouth. I just could not take it any longer, the back and forth, the this and that, the stubborn crazy nonsense that drove me into a place of insanity. When he tried to keep talking during the Primal unleashing, I quickly stopped him and just plainly screamed "STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT!!!!!!! My feet were pounding the ground, and I wanted so badly to destroy every last thing in this house. BURN IT THE HELL DOWN. felt like i had been pushed to a point of no return, and this place is frightening for anyone.
I did not drink. I think I scared the neighbors, and I most definitely scared my husband. I am fine now. Survival mode kicked in and I was ready to take action.
I was not at my best, but who is all the time. I have a interview today. I think it will go well.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Mizzuno 
I have a interview today. I think it will go well.
Boundaries anyone? I know that when I have been to that "primal" place and someone keeps coming at me...yikes. Twice in my life that has happened and only there but by the grace of God am I not sitting in prison for murder.
Good on ya. You released some stress. There are probably healthier ways.but hell, in a pinch a good "freak out" can be incredibly cathartic.
Yes..I agree. I think you will do very well today!!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hi Mizz, yeah, I agree with Nuudawn here, I think a good meltdown can be cleansing and cathartic. As long as it's only a once in a while thing, of course 
When someone else is miserable, your hubby in this case, even if they aren't saying anything, that toxic energy just pervades the whole environment. Makes you want to...scream 
And take a shower.
I think you're going to do awesome at that interview, Mizz.
When someone else is miserable, your hubby in this case, even if they aren't saying anything, that toxic energy just pervades the whole environment. Makes you want to...scream And take a shower.I think you're going to do awesome at that interview, Mizz.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Hi Mizz,
I had somewhat of a Primal Unleashing last night with my SO. It came out of nowhere. We were going back and forth saying nasty things to each other and I was about to have a meltdown when I said you know what you can kiss my arse, I am going to bed. I was even thinking he was trying to provoke me into drinking. He knows that I am sensitive at the moment and can only take so much. His support means the world to me, but he wasn't showing any support last night. I am over it though. I have moved on. If I had held onto it, I would be drinking tonight for sure. We both woke up this morning and acted like nothing ever happened. I think maybe we both needed a little time to vent and cleanse the soul.
Good luck on your interview and let us know how it goes.
I had somewhat of a Primal Unleashing last night with my SO. It came out of nowhere. We were going back and forth saying nasty things to each other and I was about to have a meltdown when I said you know what you can kiss my arse, I am going to bed. I was even thinking he was trying to provoke me into drinking. He knows that I am sensitive at the moment and can only take so much. His support means the world to me, but he wasn't showing any support last night. I am over it though. I have moved on. If I had held onto it, I would be drinking tonight for sure. We both woke up this morning and acted like nothing ever happened. I think maybe we both needed a little time to vent and cleanse the soul.
Good luck on your interview and let us know how it goes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 241
Hey Mizz,
You are my hero. You scream it all out, do your homework, then go to a job interview the next day. I agree with the SR peeps. Sometimes we need a cleansing. I wish I could let go of my primal scream. It's buried way deep down where I can't get at it yet. That being said, I hope you find a way to dial down the stress in your house. Does your H recognize that his job may not be sustainable?
All the Best,
Cas
You are my hero. You scream it all out, do your homework, then go to a job interview the next day. I agree with the SR peeps. Sometimes we need a cleansing. I wish I could let go of my primal scream. It's buried way deep down where I can't get at it yet. That being said, I hope you find a way to dial down the stress in your house. Does your H recognize that his job may not be sustainable?
All the Best,
Cas
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Well, the job interview went really well. Now it is the waiting game. All I can do is hope for the best. We got along, and I understand what is required of me.
As for therapy and emotional pain, well I have been in therapy. I have worked through a lot in my life. Who is not in emotional pain on a drug and alcohol forum? I mean, think about it, we did not come here in a condition that is so healthy, and we are all working towards our very best selves. what is this forum for if not to receive and give support when times may not be too pleasant?
I may need someone to talk with, and this is why I post on here. Letting out the problem is better than holding it in, says my therapist of many years that I no longer see. Its not like I run around acting crazy all the time, in fact I am very jovial most of the time. I am also very composed most of the time. I am sure people can relate.
(I realize that I have opened myself up to receive some type of criticism for being honest about my emotions and feelings. Marriages have there moments and sometimes those moments are not pretty, they are not supposed to be. We work through it. Which is what we did, and we are better off for it.)
My husband is looking for a different position, he knows that this is not sustainable and is aware of the stress it puts on the home. He is my love, and i want the best for him.
Thanks for the positivity people. I am off to go sell stuff to people.
As for therapy and emotional pain, well I have been in therapy. I have worked through a lot in my life. Who is not in emotional pain on a drug and alcohol forum? I mean, think about it, we did not come here in a condition that is so healthy, and we are all working towards our very best selves. what is this forum for if not to receive and give support when times may not be too pleasant?
I may need someone to talk with, and this is why I post on here. Letting out the problem is better than holding it in, says my therapist of many years that I no longer see. Its not like I run around acting crazy all the time, in fact I am very jovial most of the time. I am also very composed most of the time. I am sure people can relate.
(I realize that I have opened myself up to receive some type of criticism for being honest about my emotions and feelings. Marriages have there moments and sometimes those moments are not pretty, they are not supposed to be. We work through it. Which is what we did, and we are better off for it.)
My husband is looking for a different position, he knows that this is not sustainable and is aware of the stress it puts on the home. He is my love, and i want the best for him.
Thanks for the positivity people. I am off to go sell stuff to people.
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