Long Distance Runaround
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 6
Long Distance Runaround
It's been 2 1/2 days since my last drink. Yesterday, I got back out on the road and ran a 5K and got my time down to 25:25. Still short of my goal, but I'm happy with the result.
In a few weeks, it will have been a year since I quit smoking. I'm 46 now, and started drinking when I was 17 and smoked since I was 18. I know that I'll never be able to get those 30 years back, but maybe, just maybe I can get back a few of them.
Since I quit smoking last year, I've wrestled with my alcoholism -- I've had mindsets of moderation, total abstinence, and everything in between. After a a few recent benders, and coming close to checking myself into rehab, I started seeing a psychologist. He's helped me come to the conclusion that moderation is not an option. If I was capable of moderation, I would have been drinking in moderation already. So now the trick is to find tools that will help me the same way that I had tools that helped me to quit smoking. It's hard to translate what I did to quit smoking into quit drinking.
Maybe running is the answer. After nearly 30 years, I started running again last year when I gave up smoking for the 1,000th time since I was 18. I discovered that I had no desire to smoke after I ran.
But I'm not sure I can translate that mindset to drinking. Even though I was hooked on cigarettes, I hated them. Drinking is different. I like drinking. I like drinking alone -- it relieves boredom. I like drinking socially -- it makes me feel less boring. I like drinking, period. I like making my own beer, I like drinking beer. I like cooking with wine, but I like take swigs from the bottle as I cook. I like to accent by beer drinking sessions with fingers of scotch, and when I get back home from the bar, I run back out to the liquor store to get a pint of vodka to try and stave off the feeling of the high wearing off. I like drinking anything that will give me a high.
I don't like how I feel when the high wears off, and I don't like when I drink too much (nearly every time).
So, I have to run away from the first drink, every time. Running cross country in high school was the only thing I was every any good at; I was not athletic, and wasn't very socially apt. But I could run. When I discovered alcohol in my senior year, that fit the bill and made me feel good and like I "fit in" in social situations. And soon after, picked up smoking, and that and drinking got me through college and beyond, and I turned my back on running and living healthy.
I think the hardest part is getting past the notion (even if it's a false notion) that people like me better when when I drink. But I have to ask myself, was it really that bad before I started to drink? And how would my life have turned out if I was not such a heavy drinker all those years?
Youth is wasted on the young, I've been told....
In a few weeks, it will have been a year since I quit smoking. I'm 46 now, and started drinking when I was 17 and smoked since I was 18. I know that I'll never be able to get those 30 years back, but maybe, just maybe I can get back a few of them.
Since I quit smoking last year, I've wrestled with my alcoholism -- I've had mindsets of moderation, total abstinence, and everything in between. After a a few recent benders, and coming close to checking myself into rehab, I started seeing a psychologist. He's helped me come to the conclusion that moderation is not an option. If I was capable of moderation, I would have been drinking in moderation already. So now the trick is to find tools that will help me the same way that I had tools that helped me to quit smoking. It's hard to translate what I did to quit smoking into quit drinking.
Maybe running is the answer. After nearly 30 years, I started running again last year when I gave up smoking for the 1,000th time since I was 18. I discovered that I had no desire to smoke after I ran.
But I'm not sure I can translate that mindset to drinking. Even though I was hooked on cigarettes, I hated them. Drinking is different. I like drinking. I like drinking alone -- it relieves boredom. I like drinking socially -- it makes me feel less boring. I like drinking, period. I like making my own beer, I like drinking beer. I like cooking with wine, but I like take swigs from the bottle as I cook. I like to accent by beer drinking sessions with fingers of scotch, and when I get back home from the bar, I run back out to the liquor store to get a pint of vodka to try and stave off the feeling of the high wearing off. I like drinking anything that will give me a high.
I don't like how I feel when the high wears off, and I don't like when I drink too much (nearly every time).
So, I have to run away from the first drink, every time. Running cross country in high school was the only thing I was every any good at; I was not athletic, and wasn't very socially apt. But I could run. When I discovered alcohol in my senior year, that fit the bill and made me feel good and like I "fit in" in social situations. And soon after, picked up smoking, and that and drinking got me through college and beyond, and I turned my back on running and living healthy.
I think the hardest part is getting past the notion (even if it's a false notion) that people like me better when when I drink. But I have to ask myself, was it really that bad before I started to drink? And how would my life have turned out if I was not such a heavy drinker all those years?
Youth is wasted on the young, I've been told....
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Welcome dadman! I'm a runner as well running got me through those early rough days and gets me through now while I'm starting to live comfortably in my 4th month sober. You will find so much support and help here welcome to the family. It's a gorgeous day out get out there and run 
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Originally Posted by dadman 
I think the hardest part is getting past the notion (even if it's a false notion) that people like me better when when I drink....
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by ImperfectlyMe
Welcome dadman! I'm a runner as well running got me through those early rough days and gets me through now while I'm starting to live comfortably in my 4th month sober. You will find so much support and help here welcome to the family. It's a gorgeous day out get out there and run
Maybe I'll bike ride after work today as long as my shins and tendonitis don't mind.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
I used running the 2nd time I got sober. Really enjoyed some of the races and love the t-shirts Sounds like you are asking some good questions of yourself... for me, running turned out not to be "the answer" because I relapsed after about eight months of it... turns out it was a bit more complicated than I'd thought. I needed to commit 100% and make sobriety my #1 priority, and I needed some support, and I also started seeing a great therapist.
Sounds like you have found a good psychologist already. Congrats!
Sounds like you are asking some good questions of yourself... for me, running turned out not to be "the answer" because I relapsed after about eight months of it... turns out it was a bit more complicated than I'd thought. I needed to commit 100% and make sobriety my #1 priority, and I needed some support, and I also started seeing a great therapist. Sounds like you have found a good psychologist already. Congrats!
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