dbillyd

Hi all,

I've got 66 days sobriety and last night I went out to the cinema with a friend and after the film he started talking about a BBQ he'd been to recently with a mutual friend of ours. Even though it didn't sound like a particularly interesting night I started to feel really jealous that I hadn't been able to go because I didn't want to be around alcohol.

Although it's not going to make me question whether sobriety is the right thing to do it's definitely taken the shine off it last night and this morning.

Can any one else relate to this?

Do you have any good coping strategies for this kind of situation?

Dee74

I think a lot of us struggle with stuff like this - didn't someone call this FOMO (fear of missing out)?

I just had to keep reminding myself that drinking like I used to I really did miss out on things, for decades - and, not to be mean, but WAY more important things than BBQs too....family, kids etc...

Keep working on your recovery - it's early days yet - one day you'll be able to go wherever you like and not drink - and be happy about it...

for now maybe missing a few parties & getting yourself together instead is not such a bad thing?

D

TAQ

Party's with alcohol can get pretty boring for an abstaining alcoholic (no real way around that IMHO). Kind of like being the constant designated driver for group of soon to be ex-drinking buddies.

I guess my advice is make the best of such a situation when it happens and try to exit early if you start to feel uncomfortable. There are a plethora of things to do and enjoy in life without the need for alcohol - don't be jealous of those few that look as if they require it (to an alcoholic mind).

Good luck with your continued sobriety, 66 days is a beautiful thing!

Newatthis34

Thanks Dee, I needed to hear this as I've been struggling with a similar issue in relation to feeling isolated and left-out of stuff. I was telling myself it's a small short-term price to pay but somehow hearing it coming from you makes me feel more satisfied with that!

Nuudawn

Dee makes a really important point. How many functions and events did I attend where I wasn't "present" anyway. I was bobblin' around in some alcohol induced haze. The things I laughed at likely weren't funny...the people I thought were cool, likely weren't. And don't even get me started bout the things I missed due to hangovers.

Dbilly..do remember you made a choice for your own greater good. Once you're more comfortable in your sobriety you will be able to go anywhere as Dee says. And if the event is alcohol-centered, you will discover you probably weren't missing all that much. I have attended two functions where alcohol was everywhere. The first hour or two was okay..but once everyone got their buzz on..it was annoying. People were yelling in my ear and hanging off of me whilst I fought to keep balance for the both of us. I left early both times.

dbillyd

Thanks for the advice. I don't think it's going to affect my determination to stay sober, but it's just put me in a bit of a down mood when I want to be enjoying my sobriety.

I suppose the motivation for not drinking for me has two sides - the negatives when I drink, and the positives of being sober. Last night and this morning the positives didn't seem so positive.