MTD

Wow that's all I can say. Its been rough. Went to a few AA meetings but just not feeling it. I am very happy to be sober but everyone says you need support. I am a private person and just don't like being around a bunch of people I don't know. Cant just being sober one day at a time be enough?

Two weeks sober

LadyinBC

Congrats on 2 weeks! Just keep it simple for now. I would go to meetings, but definitely didn't talk in them. I just went there to listen. Take what you need from the meetings and leave the rest. You don't have to feel everything they are saying or even agree with it.

Nuudawn

Greetings MTD : ) My recovery does not include AA (but that is not a statement against it). It works for many and many choose other paths in sobriety. For me, support is necessary to recovery. I get that from SR, my therapist and some great friends. I think "sober connections" are incredibly helpful. There are many ways to achieve that.

Boleo

Cant just being sober one day at a time be enough?

What do you plan to do - White-Knuckle it for the rest of your life?

EndGameNYC

When I got sober and started paying attention to my life, my life and my better self told me what I needed. And what I needed was a lot of support. And then a lot of work in order to live well.

Fatthew

For now it may be. But you will most likely need support or at least some kind of plan down the road. I found that early on in recovery I thought I was better off mentally than I actually was. Then whether it was weeks or months later something would happen that will test your sobriety. I personally won many of those battles, but it only takes one loss and well, you know the rest, right?

ZoeM

Hi. I'm the same as LadyinBC. I would go to meetings and just listen. I've never been one for speaking in public

jazzfish

There are many paths in sobriety. Some people just see the problem, put down the drink and never look back. It's really what works for you. If your preference ends up not working, try something new.

Dee74

I think everyone needs support MTD - but it's up to you what that support is...

some use AA, some use counseling, some use other recovery groups - both meeting based and not - some use IOP programmes....

I used SR - worked well for me.

If you're not happy with whatever you're doing at the moment, why not explore all your options?

D

FeenixxRising

Just being sober can be enough. However, many of us (if not most) need to work toward a life that is rich, rewarding and happy without the use of mood altering substances. We need something to fill the void that is left once alcohol or drugs are removed. That can be difficult. AA, NA and other 12 Step programs help fill that void. Others take a different path.

The physical addiction is over within a week or so. But the mental compulsion can last for quite a while. So it's a good idea to have some sort of plan or course of action to deal with the mental compulsion.

MTD

Thanks for that. I am doing what I can for now. I am staying sober but my AH went to inpatient rehab and thinks he has all the answers. Just get really overwhelmed with all the meetings, group therapy and talk constantly of being sober..ect. I have been there for him and he just doesn't understand what I went through those first two weeks alone. He had support from couselors and other patients. He made a lot of friends there and many of them gave him phone numbers and want to stay in touch well I just don't fit into that whole thing. Feel like our relationship is drifting apart

Nuudawn

Ah..sounds like there's a lot more going on than "just not feeling AA" : ). Really glad you posted.

Coldfusion

For me, just being sober was not enough. I spent a lot of time drinking, being drunk or passed-out, and I needed to find things to do to fill that time. SR has sure helped, especially in the evenings.

My wife and I often talk each other into going to meetings.

Dee74

MTD you've spoken about this resentment before, and I'm sorry you still feel the same way.

Do you want to go to rehab too ?

D

LuLu13

MTD, I feel the same way about AA, I am just not feeling it. I have probably been to 10 meetings in the 26 days or so I have been sober. I know it works for many and I am glad about that but not sure it will work for me. I do not feel as though I am white knuckling it at all. If I fall on my face I guess I will just have to hear I told you so from a whole lot of people.

I also agree with what Dee asked, do you want to go into rehab?

Cormat

I am in AA but also accept that it does not have the monopoly on recovery and sobriety.

But for me the single most damaging consequence of my alcoholism, and perhaps the single most consistent 'similarity' I get when I listen to others sharing about their drinking problem is how this condition isolates us. Its not the most obvious manifestation and on the face of it perhaps not as damagaging as all the drink-driving convictions, broken marriages and a whole heap of other more obvious effects but I truly believe that the isolation is the most destructive of them all because its what we do to ourselves.

Recently I heard somebody share at a meeting that when you watch wild-life programmes about predators it is always the animals at the edges of the big herds that they kill. Never the ones in the middle who are surrounded by others. And for me this isolation is the most cunning, baffling and powerful manifestation of alcholism going. Its that which really destroys us and takes everything from us. Because ultimately we have to choose between a bottle and people. For me it really is that simple a choice.

And by isolating we choose the bottle. Every time.

LuLu13

I have always enjoyed my isolation, even for my 43 years prior to starting drinking :-)

Cormat

I used to kid myself that I enjoyed my isolation. That really I did not need anybody or anything else other than the ability to earn enough money to support my family and to ensure that I never had to drink Supermarket branded Scotch.

For me it was ********. A total defence mechanism thrown up by a deranged ego. And it was destroying me. Internal self-harming on a scale that horrifies me to this day and which is still a daily struggle.

I am not saying that you are lying because perhaps you do truly enjoy being isolated but if so then you are a genuine rarity. Humans are social animals and for the vast majority of us isolating ourselves is destructive.

LuLu13

I was very happy the first 43 years of my life when I was not drinking. The interaction I used to get at work was more than enough people contact for me. I have a couple close friends I speak to every few weeks, hang out with my daughter and spend time with my dogs. Maybe I am just a rarity, I don't think that is such a bad thing.

I have had several women in AA who gave me their numbers and when I saw them a week or so later would say "you didn't call me" in a somewhat annoyed tone. I always respond with "I never felt the urge to have a drink." In my mind I kept thinking why else would I call you? I have also had two old timers tell me I would never stay sober since I was not doing 90 in 90. I go when I think I need to and when a meeting fits into my schedule and will continue to do so. I do not dislike AA as it was responsible for giving me a sober father for the last three years of his life, nothing else had worked. AA is a wonderful organization it just may not be for me, only time will tell.

Cormat

I have to ask, and feel free to ignore me or tell me to **** off, but if you were that happy for the first 43 years of your life why start drinking in a way that bought you to AA in the first place ?

Alcohol is a pain-killer. A natural disinfectant. We drink because it changes the way we feel. If you are happy why would you want to change the way that you feel ?

Please excuse me if I seem like I am being an *******. I really dont mean to be. But happy people do not become alcoholics or at least not in my experience.