LuLu13

Hey Sasha, I am so sorry you are feeling this way but all is not lost. You can still change things. Life may not turn out exactly as you planned but it rarely does for any of us. As for being a single parent it is not as miserable as you might think. I have been a single parent since my daughter was born...24 years ago. Raising her alone gave me great pride and satisfaction. I remember sitting in my backyard looking around and thinking, I did this all myself. Now that she is grown and on her own we are the best of friends although I can still stop her with a look.

You cannot tackle all these issues at once, it is overwhelming. Take one at a time, make a decision, deal with it and move on to the next.

terry9

Please just make sure you don't have a drink on top of all this xxx You are much stronger without one even though you feel you couldn't get any lower xx Have you got any old school / college / work friends you could go and visit for a few days ?? xxxxx I realise you would have to come home to the same situation but a change is as good as a rest !!! xxxx

EndGameNYC

Multiple and major life changes.

It's possible that your previous attempts were not up to the task. Where else but here are you going to talk to people about these issues? And who here is going to help you heal?

Dee74

I had to go to counselling - different counsellors and types of counselling - about 30 times before I found someone who could help.

Like EndGame said - we change, our life changes and our needs change too...

in the end I found a great counsellor who helped me with my family of origin issues and all the self loathing and insecurity that left me with.

I discovered I wasn't what other people said I was.
I discovered I didn't need to wear the yoke others had placed around my neck.

That was a defining moment for me, Sasha.

D

terry9

How are you feeling today xxxxxxx

Nuudawn

This. That is what I found too. The counsellor I was blessed to find helped me realize I had to be the hero in my own life. And ya know what's great about being you're own hero? You are always with you : )

Justwokeup

I am so sorry you are having a bad day. You are me 30 years ago, in a time when we stuck it out for the children. I am 60 and and just now beginning my life without alcohol. After 37 years of marriage to someone who could not wait to dink anything that walked, who I stayed with because of my daughter and drank myself senseless to cope with life while always working full time I finally made the decision to say no. You are the only one who will finally be able to say enough is enough.......yep I tell myself this each day because he is also an alcoholic and the old dog is still up to his tricks. Since I took my last drink Easter of this year I am battling some major depression issues and it sounds as if you are in the same basket with me. I hate the meds but I pray one day to detox from them too. I will remember you in my prayers....

Sasha4

Thank you so much for your kind words and everyone else too.
I have not drunk.
So I am good there.
I have tried to keep busy.

I go from feeling very sick and sad, to then to anger and then to being resigned.
There is a strange atmosphere at home. Almost like polite tip toeing around each other.

In the past I woulds have spent hours talking him round. would be in a rush to make it okay.
This time I have not mentioned things. Just been myself, polite but he also knows I am upset.

I think what I take away from this is that it is better to wait and see what happens, how things pan out, and reflect on issues.

I also feel I have not compromised my feelings to save him.

The only people who know are 1 friend and you guy's. And that is good too, there is no constant questioning about what will happen.

I take meds too and I think they stop that those extreme emotions from getting out of hand.

i have to stop thinking the thoughts I do though. I am not sure how they seem to crop up. But in my head I often said to myself if it all gets too much, there is a way out. I think it is from my drinking days. I need to work at it, but I do get a sense of relief from thinking that way.

You have all shown what true, caring friends you are to me from your posts and messages.

I now know that a drink never makes a problem go away but for me, coming to SR, makes me a lot better.

Love to you all

xxxx

Fallow

Sasha you are in my thoughts. I wish I had some advice other than what's been posted. I've had that resigned feeling about so many parts of my life. Its hard when its all we can do to make it through one more day. Sometimes I feel like I won't have the energy to overcome lifes challenges and many curve balls. Then I look at my child and feel bad because I know its my responsibility to find solutions. And how can I teach someone how to live a happy life? Its overwhelming at times. But I think time will fly by and we will find a way through it all.

neferkamichael

Sasha, rootin for ya.

Lightning Bug

Thinking of you today Sasha.
I was married to a man for ten years who told me we would have children. He lied. I believed his lies. There was always something that got in the way (according to him). We needed X amount of money in the bank. We needed to finish building our house... blah blah blah. I finally realized it would never happen. Our relationship was built on lies. It was garbage. He wasn't my love.

I divorced him and the love of my life appeared out of nowhere. We have two beautiful children, ages 4 and 5.

Hugs friend.

Sasha4

Wow thanks so much!
That gives me some hope.
What a fabulous outcome for you.
I wish I had age on my side.

You guys are all so amazing.

I hope one day we can all meet for coffee?! xxxx

Blackcat11

[QUOTE=Sasha4;4132845]Wow thanks so much!
That gives me some hope.
What a fabulous outcome for you.
I wish I had age on my side.

A producer that I worked with had 15 kids. He would go to different countries (Haiti etc) and find an orphanage, then ask for the child who had no hope at all. That is the one that he brought home----there is always a way to share the love that you have.

Sasha4

I have a friend who emergency fosters babies who are on the at risk register with social services.
She takes babies at all times of the day and in the middle of the night and loves them until they are adopted.

I might not be able to have more children but there are other ways to love and care for children like fostering.

Blackcat11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasha4

I have a friend who emergency fosters babies who are on the at risk register with social services.
She takes babies at all times of the day and in the middle of the night and loves them until they are adopted.

I might not be able to have more children but there are other ways to love and care for children like fostering.

Yes Sasha,

Many, many need love---and you've got some to give! Great match up.

Dee74

If you're old Sasha I must be Neolithic
D