Help for Newcomers from My Own Experience
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Help for Newcomers from My Own Experience
Tips and Tricks for Staying Clean During Your First Six Months
Staying clean off drugs and alcohol is an incredibly difficult task for an addict or an alcoholic. Even in the best of situations, I’ve read that approximately five percent of all drug addicts and alcoholics who attempt to stay clean, are able to ascertain any substantial length of clean time. It’s not impossible, but it is indeed very difficult. So what I am outlining here, is a plan by which I feel is practical for the potential alcoholic/addict who is attempting or contemplating getting cleaned up, to put into place. I feel what I am purposing here, is not overly difficult for someone to accept. I feel although it is a rational approach to recovery. So let’s begin:
When First Coming Off Drugs or Alcohol:
If you are coming off copious amounts of alcohol, or are heavily dependent on chemicals, I would strongly suggest getting a bed at a local detoxification center. If one is not available, get a diagnosis from a local doctor. This is seriously risky business. Coming off alcohol and drugs can be very dangerous, so you really want to be under the proper care of trained professionals. Sweating it out at home is really not a good idea. Usually at detox centers they have information about potentially getting into a rehabilitation facility, and if you feel that would be good for you, by all means capitalize on said opportunity. Rehab *is* expensive, so if you cannot afford it, I would strongly suggest going to either AA or NA meetings as soon as possible. Get the help as soon as possible!
Finding Support:
Get support. From anywhere you can. Whether it be 12 Step Groups, a religious group, SR, etc. Make sure you get the support you need. Furthermore, when you attend meetings, meet people, and get their phone numbers. And call them. Preferably before it’s too late. Don’t call them when you’re drunk or high. Call them beforehand. Call these people when you’re doing well, sad, mad, glad, whatever. Keep people in your life, and try your hardest not to isolate. Isolating is simply not good for the addict or alcoholic. The last thing you want to become is a prisoner of your own mind. Sobriety should not be a prison sentence.
Get Out Into the Real World:
Once again, sobriety should not be a prison sentence. If you work, and feel that you can handle working without the use of drugs and alcohol, I say go for it. It will keep your mind occupied, which will in turn give you less time to “spin”. If you don’t have a job already, start looking for one, today. If you do not feel you can handle going back to work, attend as many meetings as possible. Find a hobby. Do you enjoy working out? Do you like video games? Are you in a bowling league? Do you play chess? Do anything, to avoid having too much free time on your hands. Idle time is a killer for drug addicts and alcoholics. Reading and writing are also great tools for recovery. Writing, in particular, can be very beneficial for identifying some of the root causes of addiction.
Change Environments:
This I’ve found is the hardest thing for drug addicts and alcoholics to do. Getting out of the comfort zone. Are you in a bad relationship? If so, are you willing to sacrifice said relationship in order to get clean? Are you in a bad job which simply cannot handle without the aid of drugs or alcohol? Do you live with people who irritate you to the point of drinking or using drugs? What are you willing to sacrifice? In order to stay sober, you may in fact have to sacrifice a lot. See this was one thing in my own personal experience I was not willing to do. I was not willing to change my environment. As a result, I spent the better part of seven years getting clean, and picking up, getting clean, and picking up. What a terrible place to be! While sacrificing certain things may hurt a little (or a lot) in the short term, the long-term benefit far outweighs the initial negative sting. One thing I routinely see alcoholics and drug addicts refuse to do, is get out of bad relationships. If a relationship is toxic, get out. Right away. If you stay in a toxic relationship, I can assure you, you are either going to drink or do drugs. And let’s say that you are of the one percent (I’m feeling generous) that can in fact not pick up drugs or alcohol whilst in the midst of a toxic relationship, what do you think you’re going to feel like? Probably not very happy. Once again, this may seem like a lot to sacrifice, but the long term gain is very beneficial. What we are trying to create here is a firm foundation which you can build off of. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but it certainly is attainable. And with that foundation, you can build. You can build until you have a life worth living.
Dealing With Urges:
I really am not a fan of the word “trigger”. Exactly what triggers someone to drink? Nothing ever triggered me to drink or use drugs. I drank and I used drugs because I wanted to. Why did I want to? Because I didn’t feel like dealing with what I had to deal with. For my money, triggers are excuses. And the term alone deflects accountability off the drug abuser or alcoholic. And I personally feel, that with drug addicts and alcoholics, we must be willing to take accountability for our actions, and non-actions. Otherwise, there will be no emotional growth. So in dealing with urges, I feel that it isn’t so much what you do to deal with them, more as what you don’t do in dealing with them. I know that may not make a whole lot of sense, but let me explain.
Firstly, you are going to get urges to drink and use drugs. It is inevitable. I wish I could somehow tell you that it isn’t going to happen, but it is. So the answer lies in dealing with these urges. Personally, I believe a lot of it revolves around people, places, and things. I know that may sound cliché, but it really is the truth. Don’t want to drink? Don’t go to a bar. Don’t want to do drugs? Don’t go to the dope house. And I even go one step further in my own recovery: I don’t carry a debit card. Access to money is not a good thing when you’re contemplating buying a twelve pack or a gram of this or that. Basically, you’ve got to train yourself to have discipline. Something which addicts and alcoholics are sorely lacking in. And it certainly doesn’t come easily.
And let’s face it: Discipline is not something only alcoholics and drug addicts are lacking in. Virtually everyone who has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder lacks discipline in one way shape or form. Overeaters, excessive gamblers, sex addicts, etc. all have discipline problems.
Now in closing, I am going to say, that utilizing this plan is in no way foolproof. I’m not going to sit here and suggest that putting this into practice is going to guarantee you success at sobriety/ recovery. Addicts and alcoholics are very complicated people, and addiction is extremely cunning and baffling. And I am a firm believer, that there is more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak. If you find religion, exercise, etc. to be more beneficial than meetings, by all means, go for it. Work is another great way to fill time.
But I cannot properly express the importance and value of meetings. Personally, I don’t necessarily even agree with the 12 Step model. That being said, where else are you going to meet other sober people and hang out with them? If you think you can sit there, and hang out with your old drinking buddies at the bar, and stay sober, I’ll tell you right now: You’re setting yourself up for disaster. These are things that I have implemented in my own life that have helped me stay clean. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to shoot me a PM here on SR. I don’t come around as much as I used to, but I always like to help where possible. Thanks for your time!
-Matt S.
Staying clean off drugs and alcohol is an incredibly difficult task for an addict or an alcoholic. Even in the best of situations, I’ve read that approximately five percent of all drug addicts and alcoholics who attempt to stay clean, are able to ascertain any substantial length of clean time. It’s not impossible, but it is indeed very difficult. So what I am outlining here, is a plan by which I feel is practical for the potential alcoholic/addict who is attempting or contemplating getting cleaned up, to put into place. I feel what I am purposing here, is not overly difficult for someone to accept. I feel although it is a rational approach to recovery. So let’s begin:
When First Coming Off Drugs or Alcohol:
If you are coming off copious amounts of alcohol, or are heavily dependent on chemicals, I would strongly suggest getting a bed at a local detoxification center. If one is not available, get a diagnosis from a local doctor. This is seriously risky business. Coming off alcohol and drugs can be very dangerous, so you really want to be under the proper care of trained professionals. Sweating it out at home is really not a good idea. Usually at detox centers they have information about potentially getting into a rehabilitation facility, and if you feel that would be good for you, by all means capitalize on said opportunity. Rehab *is* expensive, so if you cannot afford it, I would strongly suggest going to either AA or NA meetings as soon as possible. Get the help as soon as possible!
Finding Support:
Get support. From anywhere you can. Whether it be 12 Step Groups, a religious group, SR, etc. Make sure you get the support you need. Furthermore, when you attend meetings, meet people, and get their phone numbers. And call them. Preferably before it’s too late. Don’t call them when you’re drunk or high. Call them beforehand. Call these people when you’re doing well, sad, mad, glad, whatever. Keep people in your life, and try your hardest not to isolate. Isolating is simply not good for the addict or alcoholic. The last thing you want to become is a prisoner of your own mind. Sobriety should not be a prison sentence.
Get Out Into the Real World:
Once again, sobriety should not be a prison sentence. If you work, and feel that you can handle working without the use of drugs and alcohol, I say go for it. It will keep your mind occupied, which will in turn give you less time to “spin”. If you don’t have a job already, start looking for one, today. If you do not feel you can handle going back to work, attend as many meetings as possible. Find a hobby. Do you enjoy working out? Do you like video games? Are you in a bowling league? Do you play chess? Do anything, to avoid having too much free time on your hands. Idle time is a killer for drug addicts and alcoholics. Reading and writing are also great tools for recovery. Writing, in particular, can be very beneficial for identifying some of the root causes of addiction.
Change Environments:
This I’ve found is the hardest thing for drug addicts and alcoholics to do. Getting out of the comfort zone. Are you in a bad relationship? If so, are you willing to sacrifice said relationship in order to get clean? Are you in a bad job which simply cannot handle without the aid of drugs or alcohol? Do you live with people who irritate you to the point of drinking or using drugs? What are you willing to sacrifice? In order to stay sober, you may in fact have to sacrifice a lot. See this was one thing in my own personal experience I was not willing to do. I was not willing to change my environment. As a result, I spent the better part of seven years getting clean, and picking up, getting clean, and picking up. What a terrible place to be! While sacrificing certain things may hurt a little (or a lot) in the short term, the long-term benefit far outweighs the initial negative sting. One thing I routinely see alcoholics and drug addicts refuse to do, is get out of bad relationships. If a relationship is toxic, get out. Right away. If you stay in a toxic relationship, I can assure you, you are either going to drink or do drugs. And let’s say that you are of the one percent (I’m feeling generous) that can in fact not pick up drugs or alcohol whilst in the midst of a toxic relationship, what do you think you’re going to feel like? Probably not very happy. Once again, this may seem like a lot to sacrifice, but the long term gain is very beneficial. What we are trying to create here is a firm foundation which you can build off of. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but it certainly is attainable. And with that foundation, you can build. You can build until you have a life worth living.
Dealing With Urges:
I really am not a fan of the word “trigger”. Exactly what triggers someone to drink? Nothing ever triggered me to drink or use drugs. I drank and I used drugs because I wanted to. Why did I want to? Because I didn’t feel like dealing with what I had to deal with. For my money, triggers are excuses. And the term alone deflects accountability off the drug abuser or alcoholic. And I personally feel, that with drug addicts and alcoholics, we must be willing to take accountability for our actions, and non-actions. Otherwise, there will be no emotional growth. So in dealing with urges, I feel that it isn’t so much what you do to deal with them, more as what you don’t do in dealing with them. I know that may not make a whole lot of sense, but let me explain.
Firstly, you are going to get urges to drink and use drugs. It is inevitable. I wish I could somehow tell you that it isn’t going to happen, but it is. So the answer lies in dealing with these urges. Personally, I believe a lot of it revolves around people, places, and things. I know that may sound cliché, but it really is the truth. Don’t want to drink? Don’t go to a bar. Don’t want to do drugs? Don’t go to the dope house. And I even go one step further in my own recovery: I don’t carry a debit card. Access to money is not a good thing when you’re contemplating buying a twelve pack or a gram of this or that. Basically, you’ve got to train yourself to have discipline. Something which addicts and alcoholics are sorely lacking in. And it certainly doesn’t come easily.
And let’s face it: Discipline is not something only alcoholics and drug addicts are lacking in. Virtually everyone who has some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder lacks discipline in one way shape or form. Overeaters, excessive gamblers, sex addicts, etc. all have discipline problems.
Now in closing, I am going to say, that utilizing this plan is in no way foolproof. I’m not going to sit here and suggest that putting this into practice is going to guarantee you success at sobriety/ recovery. Addicts and alcoholics are very complicated people, and addiction is extremely cunning and baffling. And I am a firm believer, that there is more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak. If you find religion, exercise, etc. to be more beneficial than meetings, by all means, go for it. Work is another great way to fill time.
But I cannot properly express the importance and value of meetings. Personally, I don’t necessarily even agree with the 12 Step model. That being said, where else are you going to meet other sober people and hang out with them? If you think you can sit there, and hang out with your old drinking buddies at the bar, and stay sober, I’ll tell you right now: You’re setting yourself up for disaster. These are things that I have implemented in my own life that have helped me stay clean. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to shoot me a PM here on SR. I don’t come around as much as I used to, but I always like to help where possible. Thanks for your time!
-Matt S.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Hi. Some good points. I happen to like along with AA face to face meetings, KISS. Like if we don't pick up a drink we don't have to get SOBER AGAIN. Staying sober is another chapter or the rest of the book. BE WELL
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