I have No Idea what to do!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 5
I have No Idea what to do!!
Hi All,
I am a newbie here, I have been using for a little more than 10 years now. It was not untill a few years back that i even thought that i had a problem or i needed help. When i did ask for help i get it..The first rehab i went to was absolutely horrible and i knew that i was going to get out and use. I didnt have an option to leave by choice from there even though it was by choice i went and admitted myself there. Desperation i guess, i didnt read the fine print. So Anyway, got out of there used for a few years and thought id take a differnt approach to things, looked for a good rehab, found one, great place, lovely people. so i decided to give it another go, did that came back was clean for a very short while and was back at it again. The same thing happened over and over.
This last time i went in i met this wonderful lady and we fell in love, i came out was clean, we were making plans for our future and i was looking forward ot it, made the choice to leave where i am from and go to a different land far off and live with her as she could leave work and i could work from there. It was a lovely time we had and after about 7 months being tgeather and clean i popped the question!! and she agreed, i was over the moon..So once she finished work there we wrapped up stuff at her place and moved back to where i am from, got married and things were going on, and one day she found some of my old stuff which even i didnt know existed, well she told me about it that evening saying that she threw it away and all was fine... a few days later she came up to me and told me that she had started using my stuff and that was like a bolt of lightening hitting me!! i didnt know what to do, but calmly supported her saying that it is alright and we are human and make mistakes..but after all that i started using again we had fight and she went back!!
I then again cleaned up my act we were talking she came back and things were not like how they were initially..not fruity and lovely anymore, we started having arguments and fights and i started to use and didnt tell her. i knew she had her suspicions,( track marks cant be really hid).. and finaly she caught me and i did confess to her. all she wanted me to do was stop and i kept prolonging it as i was emotionally so disturbed about the fact that i might loose her and if she leaves i wont stop which she did, and i am still using now. She loves me, she wants to be with me!! As of me I love her and there is nothing more important than keeping her happy.
Why is this one substance causing so much pain in not only my but others lives too??
I am a newbie here, I have been using for a little more than 10 years now. It was not untill a few years back that i even thought that i had a problem or i needed help. When i did ask for help i get it..The first rehab i went to was absolutely horrible and i knew that i was going to get out and use. I didnt have an option to leave by choice from there even though it was by choice i went and admitted myself there. Desperation i guess, i didnt read the fine print. So Anyway, got out of there used for a few years and thought id take a differnt approach to things, looked for a good rehab, found one, great place, lovely people. so i decided to give it another go, did that came back was clean for a very short while and was back at it again. The same thing happened over and over.
This last time i went in i met this wonderful lady and we fell in love, i came out was clean, we were making plans for our future and i was looking forward ot it, made the choice to leave where i am from and go to a different land far off and live with her as she could leave work and i could work from there. It was a lovely time we had and after about 7 months being tgeather and clean i popped the question!! and she agreed, i was over the moon..So once she finished work there we wrapped up stuff at her place and moved back to where i am from, got married and things were going on, and one day she found some of my old stuff which even i didnt know existed, well she told me about it that evening saying that she threw it away and all was fine... a few days later she came up to me and told me that she had started using my stuff and that was like a bolt of lightening hitting me!! i didnt know what to do, but calmly supported her saying that it is alright and we are human and make mistakes..but after all that i started using again we had fight and she went back!!
I then again cleaned up my act we were talking she came back and things were not like how they were initially..not fruity and lovely anymore, we started having arguments and fights and i started to use and didnt tell her. i knew she had her suspicions,( track marks cant be really hid).. and finaly she caught me and i did confess to her. all she wanted me to do was stop and i kept prolonging it as i was emotionally so disturbed about the fact that i might loose her and if she leaves i wont stop which she did, and i am still using now. She loves me, she wants to be with me!! As of me I love her and there is nothing more important than keeping her happy.
Why is this one substance causing so much pain in not only my but others lives too??
to SR! You've come to a very supportive place.
I hope we can help you stop using for good. A clean life is worth the effort. 
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