smadams11

well its 7pm......boyf bought 24 beers home with him....getting antsy now.
dont think i will make past to 7:30

smadams11

he is sitting there watching star wars/trek, i dont know which.
wish i was alone, would be so much easier
i think im gonna cry. i dont want to drink but something is dragging my mind to it and pulling me over there. i will just pull back. tug of war

neferkamichael

Smadams, do your best to fight it off. Rootin for ya.

Babs78756

Go take a bath or a hot shower. Stop punishing yourself by forcing yourself to be in the same room. Go to bed. Put the children to bed and go yourself.

JustSarah

Hang in there smadams - I'm just running a bath as its the witching hour here too. Have an early night (I know it's boring) but if you can get thru tonight you will feel so much stronger tomorrow . Just focus on not drinking now - 2 1/2 more hours and the days pretty much over and done with

You CAN do this cxxxxx

longbeachone

Wow...you are dealing with lots of fear. Fear of your ex, fear of having alcohol in/out of the house, fear of aging, fear of being alone. Unfortunately alcohol provides a quick response to fear...I'm afraid, I drink, I'm not afraid anymore! But that response is a big fat lie. Drinking doesn't relieve you of your fears, rather, it masks them. In turn, fear grows stronger and stronger (and takes more and more alcohol to combat it). Where does this end? I promise you, nowhere good. Your children will suffer, and possibly follow the same path, you will lose your significant other to your drinking, you will age ten times faster...I could go on and on.

FEAR...

So, what to do? Well, first things first. STOP DRINKING! Stop fretting about all of these things for heaven's sake! There isn't a more useless emotion than worry. Focus on stopping drinking above all else. Stay on this website at night and read every post to stay busy. I promise that when you have some sober time under your belt, all of these worries and issues will evaporate into thin air.


And one more thing. Do not keep alcohol in your house. I'm not going to even argue this, please take this one bit of advise from someone who's been there. This is what's called a "slippery slope".

You can do it my dear!

smadams11

well im not drinking yet.
my boyfriend has left the beer right by the door where i can see them. i cant put them away cause then i will open them and drink. and i cant ask him to put them away cause then i will have brought attention to the beer and will want to drink more. and i cant throw it away cause im too weak for that.
i sound desperate and selfish

Babs78756

What are you going to do next to overcome this situation?

smadams11

i dont know.
i will try to find a book to read in the bath....im feeling pretty sweaty, its gross.
i cant stay down here with the boyf watching TV(very loudly). im irritable
x

smadams11

maybe i could start again another time?
i read that you should set a date for quitting-well i didnt do that, i had not prepared myself for this.
saying that, im still here, im still on here

i hate the sound of spacecraft crashing.......we have nothing in common

smadams11

only have to make it to 9pm.......those are my drinking opportunity hours-never start before 6pm, never start after 9pm.

i am angry that i have wasted 2 hours not drinking. this has happened before, i get to the point of vowing that i WILL drink tomorrow, i wont deprive myself again. how stupid is that?!

Babs78756

how does it look tomorrow if you go downstairs and start drinking? Will it increase the chances of you drinking tomorrow as well? Go back and read what you posted originally, the subject line, "I'm falling apart and desperate," looks like it was a good day to quit. Yeah, you're going to be sweaty for a little while... feeling temporarily gross, is manageable compared to the weight of regret that lasts forever. You can do this... you can get through tonight. Someone on another thread suggested taking a benadryll for the symptoms...

neferkamichael

Smadams, only have to make it to 9pm? Rootin for ya.

JustSarah

Smadams - you ok? 19 more minutes - you can do this xxxxxxx

smadams11

yup, im still here. just looking around the site. its amazing how this keeps me occupied! and it definitely makes a difference having support
x

Babs78756

Are you still not negotiating your 9:00 rule? Sometimes that voice can creep in and tell you "Well you already won, you held out. Now you can reward yourself."
How you doing?

smadams11

for some reason the 9pm rule always works. with 3 young kids, and the partner needing his sleep i simply cant drink after that time. it would only leave 2 hours to get bladdered and i need 4+.
nope, after 9pm everythings good.
im feeling good. hopefully tomorrow will feel even better!
x

Babs78756

See! And you thought you'd only last until 7:30! Bravo! You did it!

JustSarah

As Babs said - well done you - yay!! . Keep using this site it really does help xxxxxx

neferkamichael

Smadams, you are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.