It's time to stop (story inside)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 158
It's time to stop (story inside)
(Warning: long post below)
I've been browsing the forums a lot lately working up the courage to share my story as a means of encouragement for sticking to my recent resolution to stop drinking once and for all. Finally, I bit the bullet and decided to share my story as an introduction to (what I hope will be) a fruitful road to sustained sobriety.
My drinking history has been marked primarily by an incessant desire to binge drink. I've never been an every-day drinker--although close to that in college at times. Started when I was 16, but didn't really indulge until I entered college. Met a core group of drinkers and kept at it for the next four years. After that, much social drinking ensued--with plenty of nights spent by the toilet and being blacked out at bars and houses.
All the while, I maintained a remarkable educational pace, culminating in a couple of degrees and an esteemed position today. But, I've realized that all my work in the classroom and as a professional will be for naught if I don't get my drinking habit extinguished.
At times, I have exhibited self-control, stopping for days and weeks at a time. Just this last May, I reached 4 1/2 months sober. It was fantastic and I really took pride in it. Unfortunately, I succumbed to the one pressure that has consistently motivated my alcohol usage: peer pressure.
It's not just limited to what others demand; I just can't shake these expectations that I am letting others done if I'm not "normal" and drinking at bars or other social gatherings. Also, I tend to ask myself: "Can I sustain this forever?". I'm in my late twenties, that's a long time I'd be committing to not drinking again.
It also doesn't help that i'm an all-or-nothing person: I either have to do something or not at all. Whether it's exercise, alcohol usage or other endeavors, I obsess over things I do until I either resolve to continue with the activity or cease entirely. Whenever I'm active with drinking, I can't stop thinking about it. I micro-manage every part of my upcoming days to plan when I can drink next. I have never drank at work and I've been able to set times at which drinking is off-limits. But when I've concluded I can have a drink? Blast-off! Before I know it, I've had 6 more than the 3 I planned on having and continue until I pass out.
I'm not a believer in AA or other religion-based methods of attaining sobriety, but I don't have a problem with those methods either. My goal is to use SR, honesty with myself and any other suggestions to help sustain my path.
I'm 11 days in and feeling good about sobriety so far. My light bulb moment was the end of 8/3, when I looked in the mirror at home after 9 hours of day drinking (only 4 of which I remember) and realized the blackouts, errant behavior and pain I inflict on my loved ones through excessive alcohol usage need to stop. My family has a history of substance abuse, so I want to stop that buck here.
All, I have a drinking problem and I'm ready to rectify it. Thanks for reading, catch you all on the forum.
I've been browsing the forums a lot lately working up the courage to share my story as a means of encouragement for sticking to my recent resolution to stop drinking once and for all. Finally, I bit the bullet and decided to share my story as an introduction to (what I hope will be) a fruitful road to sustained sobriety.
My drinking history has been marked primarily by an incessant desire to binge drink. I've never been an every-day drinker--although close to that in college at times. Started when I was 16, but didn't really indulge until I entered college. Met a core group of drinkers and kept at it for the next four years. After that, much social drinking ensued--with plenty of nights spent by the toilet and being blacked out at bars and houses.
All the while, I maintained a remarkable educational pace, culminating in a couple of degrees and an esteemed position today. But, I've realized that all my work in the classroom and as a professional will be for naught if I don't get my drinking habit extinguished.
At times, I have exhibited self-control, stopping for days and weeks at a time. Just this last May, I reached 4 1/2 months sober. It was fantastic and I really took pride in it. Unfortunately, I succumbed to the one pressure that has consistently motivated my alcohol usage: peer pressure.
It's not just limited to what others demand; I just can't shake these expectations that I am letting others done if I'm not "normal" and drinking at bars or other social gatherings. Also, I tend to ask myself: "Can I sustain this forever?". I'm in my late twenties, that's a long time I'd be committing to not drinking again.
It also doesn't help that i'm an all-or-nothing person: I either have to do something or not at all. Whether it's exercise, alcohol usage or other endeavors, I obsess over things I do until I either resolve to continue with the activity or cease entirely. Whenever I'm active with drinking, I can't stop thinking about it. I micro-manage every part of my upcoming days to plan when I can drink next. I have never drank at work and I've been able to set times at which drinking is off-limits. But when I've concluded I can have a drink? Blast-off! Before I know it, I've had 6 more than the 3 I planned on having and continue until I pass out.
I'm not a believer in AA or other religion-based methods of attaining sobriety, but I don't have a problem with those methods either. My goal is to use SR, honesty with myself and any other suggestions to help sustain my path.
I'm 11 days in and feeling good about sobriety so far. My light bulb moment was the end of 8/3, when I looked in the mirror at home after 9 hours of day drinking (only 4 of which I remember) and realized the blackouts, errant behavior and pain I inflict on my loved ones through excessive alcohol usage need to stop. My family has a history of substance abuse, so I want to stop that buck here.
All, I have a drinking problem and I'm ready to rectify it. Thanks for reading, catch you all on the forum.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 257
Hi TucTee! You've come to a great place for support. Rather than just say hi I'm going to add this...yea that's a long time to not drink. I've thought the same thing for myself and really didn't like it. I dislike the alternative lots and lots more and that's why I'm here and starting to "get my leaves back in a pile ". Hope you stick around!!!
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
The first and most important step is admitting you have a problem and that you want to do something about it. You have accomplished that by posting here. Welcome to your journey on the road to recovery!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 158
Thanks for the welcomes. I haven't looked at the secular forums, but I should be alright sticking here. I don't have an aversion to religion such that hearing about it will bother me. I may take a peek anyway, though. Frankly, just hearing about others starting out and sustaining provides the motivation I'm seeking for now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: California
Posts: 101
Tuc when you reached your 4 1/2 months sober what instance set you that made you decide to drink?? I'm almost 2 months sober myself and definitely realize certain situations are harder to be in than others.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by TopFlight 
Tuc when you reached your 4 1/2 months sober what instance set you that made you decide to drink?? I'm almost 2 months sober myself and definitely realize certain situations are harder to be in than others.
I'd say that you should keep to heart whatever reason compelled you to stop and let that outweigh other influences. You'll feel better knowing that you are successful in accomplishing sobriety. I know I would have, but mistakes happen.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 257
Hi TucTee. Something I found helpful is AVRT. Google avrt and you want the one on Rational Recovery website. Below is a link to a post a fellow member did about avrt. If you weren't aware of avrt you might find this info helpful. Hope the link works. Forgot to tell you congrats earlier.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Welcome TucTee! Here's a thought for you. If you really are an all or nothing person, that's a trait that might come in very handy in recovery.
I drank for 18 years. Nobody I knew every thought I could stop. I didn't think I could stop. Then I decided I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink and took things one day at a time. I decided to go all in for sobriety. I'm sure if I can do this 9 months later, you can do it too. All the best to you brother!
I drank for 18 years. Nobody I knew every thought I could stop. I didn't think I could stop. Then I decided I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink and took things one day at a time. I decided to go all in for sobriety. I'm sure if I can do this 9 months later, you can do it too. All the best to you brother!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by nomis
Welcome TucTee! Here's a thought for you. If you really are an all or nothing person, that's a trait that might come in very handy in recovery.
I drank for 18 years. Nobody I knew every thought I could stop. I didn't think I could stop. Then I decided I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink and took things one day at a time. I decided to go all in for sobriety. I'm sure if I can do this 9 months later, you can do it too. All the best to you brother!
I drank for 18 years. Nobody I knew every thought I could stop. I didn't think I could stop. Then I decided I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink and took things one day at a time. I decided to go all in for sobriety. I'm sure if I can do this 9 months later, you can do it too. All the best to you brother!
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