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Recovery is hard

Old 08-14-2013, 06:37 AM
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Unhappy Recovery is hard

Hi I have never used blog support system and would like to thank you for this support. I am a heroin addict. I have been clean for over seven years. I have joined this forum to seek support during my boyfriends recovery with methamphetamines.

I recently learned my boyfriend has been hiding an addiction to meth from me. The addiction itself did not start as a secret however after he relocated to another state (to be with me) I have been lead to believe he got clean.

Two days ago I learned he has been using nearly the whole time he has been here. As an addict myself I can accept why he kept it from me. I also believe that finally telling me is his first real attempt to get better.

I want to support him in every way possible. We love and understand one another and our communication has always been very good so when he finally broke and I learned his horrible secret we have been able to communicate about the lies and the pain etc. I have also done as much research as I can on how his withdrawal will go.

I need support now. All this addiction talk had me relive a lot of my drug days. Doing this in conjunction with researching his addiction has introduced a new pain. I can not for the life of me understand how his withdrawal would justify risking everything to continue use. Withdrawal from meth is all in the mind. I know it is extremely hard but having gone through the sweating, shitting, puking, bone aching, sleepless, hell of heroin withdrawal completely on my own I can not keep myself from thinking his should be a walk in the park. Addiction is not a place where I feel 'one upping' a person is at all productive so I have been keeping these feelings bottled up. I get its a matter of perspective and I was the one who made the choice to be addicted to heroin, he does not and will never understand that and its not a contest.

If anyone out there maybe has a similar experience or any advice I'm all ears. Heck I might just need the support of someone telling me its ok to have these feelings. Thanks anyone who has read this through.
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Old 08-14-2013, 06:50 AM
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First off, welcome to SR.

I had once replied to a post asking our opinion of what we thought the worst drug was. I said whatever drug we are addicted to. In the same vein, I guess the worse withdrawals are those we have from the drug we are most addicted to.

I was a meth addict. Yes the physical withdrawals are minimal. But the mental obsession to use is excruciating.

You asked for support. Perhaps you would benefit from Nar-Anon. Dealing with addiction is one thing. Dealing with an addict, a different beast.

We also have a forum for Friends and Family of Substance Abusers. They can provide a lot of support, as they are in your shoes.
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:23 AM
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My goodness you sound like a fantastic girlfriend/wife/significant other to have: strong , thinking, rational, compassionate. He is a lucky man.

I found great insight about addiction and how to deal with it in AVRT and Rational Recovery , I just read the book(by JTrimpey)and in it is a section on dealing with an addicted family member, perhaps it would be worth a look if you are not already familiar with his writings and method.
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:38 AM
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Hi and welcome.

I have no experience with heroin or meth and nothing to share there.

It is a nice sensible post you have written.

Take care.
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:46 AM
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praying for you two

Originally Posted by Girlfriend1 View Post
Heck I might just need the support of someone telling me its ok to have these feelings.
sure having those thoughts are ok
as you know the withdrawals are well worth the end result
a sober and clean mind and body is what was meant for us
only the devil would want the other

your support for him while he get's well
is something that he should consider a blessing

praying for you two

Mountainman
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Old 08-14-2013, 01:11 PM
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'Dealing with addiction is one thing. Dealing with an addict, a different beast.'

Oh my goodness yes! Thank you I can not hear this enough. It is hard knowing all I do about my struggle and know that the only way i can help him is by giving him support. This is his battle and I do not have control.
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