"I quit drinking" or "I don't drink"...when do you feel it's right to say it?
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Depends on who I'm talking to and the circumstances surrounding it.
Sometimes it's meds, sometimes it I'm an alcoholic, sometimes its I don't drink. Sometimes it's I quit. I have no one stock answer. Can I trust who is asking the question with my biggest secret ? The one that elicits and sparks every emotion in my body ? Or sometimes it just comes down to if I feel like talking about it or not.
My addiction - my boundaries. My choice.
I just met a new friend. He asked me to join him for a drink. I said how about coffee. He looked at me like I had 6 heads.
For the first time, in my entire life, I uttered the words "I'm in recovery".
Sometimes it's meds, sometimes it I'm an alcoholic, sometimes its I don't drink. Sometimes it's I quit. I have no one stock answer. Can I trust who is asking the question with my biggest secret ? The one that elicits and sparks every emotion in my body ? Or sometimes it just comes down to if I feel like talking about it or not.
My addiction - my boundaries. My choice.
I just met a new friend. He asked me to join him for a drink. I said how about coffee. He looked at me like I had 6 heads.
For the first time, in my entire life, I uttered the words "I'm in recovery".
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 19
TopFlight I'm so glad you asked that question. I have been wondering too.
I like Nuudawn's idea of telling people that you're not much of a drinker A LOT. Simple genius.
I'm lucky I guess, in the sense that my primary group of friends are athletes so declining a drink with a "Not now, I'm sticking to a strict training and nutrition plan." is sufficient but I wonder what will happen a year in, two years in... at some point people are going to notice that I've stopped completely even when I'm not training for something.
I like Nuudawn's idea of telling people that you're not much of a drinker A LOT. Simple genius.
I'm lucky I guess, in the sense that my primary group of friends are athletes so declining a drink with a "Not now, I'm sticking to a strict training and nutrition plan." is sufficient but I wonder what will happen a year in, two years in... at some point people are going to notice that I've stopped completely even when I'm not training for something.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi topflight, I pondered this question myself in early recovery. I was so proud the first time I said "I would really love a coca-cola". Which is always true. That's my usual response. It's true, I always love a coke. Anyone who knows me better, knows I don't drink. Anywho who doesn't understands sometimes people just want a coke. Seems to work well. Congratulations on your sobriety. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
This topic came up last night in my meeting and there were a lot of good ideas on how to approach it. I am struggling a little with this right now because I did something rather silly early on in sobriety by saying, "The doctor told me not to drink for six months."
Well, guess what? Tomorrow is six months and my drinking buddies (no one else cares, that is correct) are like, "Woohoo! Time to break free of prison!!" when I'm thinking, "Dude, YOU are the one in prison, I broke free six months ago..."
So I am just saying, to those friends, that I felt so much better not drinking that I am going to keep going with it for awhile. They are starting to forget me as a drinking buddy anyway so in a few months it will likely be a moot point.
I am hesitant to say, "I don't drink" or get too into details with people. It's my business. But I do strive to tell the truth and have found, twice already, that by being somewhat honest, other people have had the opening to say, "Me too!"
Jada Pinkett Smith said something like, "One day I realized I was drinking too much for my own personal comfort level so I quit and liked me much better that way." I thought that was cool, honest, accurate...and so I stole it.
Nuudawn's observation though, "I've never been much of a drinker" has also always left a "whoaa..." impression on me too. Thing is, in my case, God/the Universe/Whatever would probably make sure I spontaneously combusted into a ball of flames for THAT little untruth. So I stick with the one I mentioned.
But, yeah, basically, no one cares
Just say whatever is comfortable to you and gets the job done (continued sobriety).
Well, guess what? Tomorrow is six months and my drinking buddies (no one else cares, that is correct) are like, "Woohoo! Time to break free of prison!!" when I'm thinking, "Dude, YOU are the one in prison, I broke free six months ago..."
So I am just saying, to those friends, that I felt so much better not drinking that I am going to keep going with it for awhile. They are starting to forget me as a drinking buddy anyway so in a few months it will likely be a moot point.
I am hesitant to say, "I don't drink" or get too into details with people. It's my business. But I do strive to tell the truth and have found, twice already, that by being somewhat honest, other people have had the opening to say, "Me too!"
Jada Pinkett Smith said something like, "One day I realized I was drinking too much for my own personal comfort level so I quit and liked me much better that way." I thought that was cool, honest, accurate...and so I stole it.
Nuudawn's observation though, "I've never been much of a drinker" has also always left a "whoaa..." impression on me too. Thing is, in my case, God/the Universe/Whatever would probably make sure I spontaneously combusted into a ball of flames for THAT little untruth. So I stick with the one I mentioned.
But, yeah, basically, no one cares
Just say whatever is comfortable to you and gets the job done (continued sobriety).
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Love's Jada's line Ptcapote! And oh..."never" wasn't in the sentence. it's "not really a drinker" Just cuz ya omit the "anymore" doesn't make it a lie : ) I too worry about being struck by bolts of lightning.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 175
I think I need to face someone to tell them I'm not drinking. My neighbour is a brewer, and I was also, until November last year, and with competition season coming up, I reckon he'll knock on my door with some samples for my feedback and evaluation. Right there on my doorstep, holding two filled glasses. This has happened numerous times before.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: California
Posts: 101
The one advantage when I do I say "i quit drinking" is it kind of nips it in the butt the first time around. Therefore in future instances people pretty much know where I stand on it. In certain scenarios where I don't really know the person, ill just ask for a coke or something and if they inquire further, I usually say "I really don't drink"
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