Sober friend dilemma
Sober friend dilemma
Hi,
My Sponsor and I "broke up" less than a month ago. She's was too busy I felt (hadn't seen her face to face for over a month). While I was letting her go she admitted she really didn't have the time to commit sponsoring me. A mutual split.
My dilemma: I've been having a once a week meeting with another gal since having no sponsor. She's got a couple of decades of solid recovery under her. I'm content with my once a week meet-up. She keeps dropping not so subtle hints, remarks hit me as guilt inducing. For instance, "You didn't go to the meeting where I was speaking." "IF I were your Sponsor....."
I haven't felt that 'ol guility feeling since being sober. Now, it feels like here I go again....that makes me want to retreat from the friendship and meetings. I'd appreciate your take on my situation.
Thank you,
Bobbi
My Sponsor and I "broke up" less than a month ago. She's was too busy I felt (hadn't seen her face to face for over a month). While I was letting her go she admitted she really didn't have the time to commit sponsoring me. A mutual split.
My dilemma: I've been having a once a week meeting with another gal since having no sponsor. She's got a couple of decades of solid recovery under her. I'm content with my once a week meet-up. She keeps dropping not so subtle hints, remarks hit me as guilt inducing. For instance, "You didn't go to the meeting where I was speaking." "IF I were your Sponsor....."
I haven't felt that 'ol guility feeling since being sober. Now, it feels like here I go again....that makes me want to retreat from the friendship and meetings. I'd appreciate your take on my situation.
Thank you,
Bobbi
I would sit down and have a heart to heart talk with this person. Best to get it out on the table rather than thinking that she is just trying to get you to feel guilty. I know I sometimes can take things out of content and make it all about me, when it really isn't. I'm not saying that this is what you are doing, but communication is really important in sobriety.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
She is your friend, so IMO you owe her your honesty. Just let her know that you value your time with her friendwise and as support in sobriety but that you just don't wish to change your relationship in that fashion as you love the dynamic just as it is (or something like that). Yes, her ego may "smart" a little initially, but you will have done the right thing. Trust her to do same : ) Just my two pennies.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)