Mixed Feelings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 19
Mixed Feelings
Well I woke up this morning with 21 complete days under my belt. I am so grateful for that. As I start day 22 I have mixed feelings. I have happiness and yet I have anger. I am angry at what alcohol has taken away from me. I have zero pictures of my kids graduations. Oh the pictures were taken but when I saw my disgusting face, how bloated I was, how messed up I looked, I either deleted the pictures or threw them away. There are many many other reasons for me to be angry at what alcohol has done to my life, but I think the big moments in my kids lives and not to have the pictures to look back on are the most sad for me. I know there are going to be other occasions and with Gods help and my determination to not let this evil back in my life I will look back on those memories with a smile. Thanks for listening I just wanted to vent. But hey 21 DAYS!!!!!!!! That makes me very happy.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulations on starting day 22, one day at a time. Boy do I identify on all the losses due to drinking. I realize now it never has to be repeated if I don’t pick up the first drink,,, no matter what! I also find out that the future gets better and better staying sober in spite of myself getting in the way at times.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Those mixed feelings are normal. I remember the regret coming on me like a wave. It is not surprising seeing as that is exactly the sort of stuff I drank over so when I got sober it was raw and painful. It passes though as the feelings of accomplishment in sobriety take over. Well done on 21 days 
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