okay then?!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hey sunset...I know that in my first few days/weeks of sobriety I really, really focused on just staying in the "now" ...dealing with my right now's and the situations that arrived with them..when they arrived. I could only commit to not drinking "right now". It helped me alot so I just thought I would throw that out there in case it might be some help to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Well my partner came home and my mind is singing time for my first glass to take the edge off before my children go to bed. I was standing in the kitchen and he walks in and I just blurt it out. "I'm worried I'm an alcoholic", he looks at me and says "ok" and we have a long discussion of my worries about how I view alcohol and that even when I say I'll have only one I just don't stop. I explained about this site and the experiences I'd read and that I identify with alot of your experiences and thoughts, and that I wanted to give up totally. He didn't know about how I felt and he was really supportive. I don't expect him to change what he does, but I expected him to understand when I got anxious and upset not to take it personally. He said he was happy to. So I'm sitting here not having a drink feeling anxious and with what seems to be the start of a headache, but not drinking.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
When I dumped out my vodka and quit, I became pretty anxious, jittery, jangly, had trouble sleeping, headaches, sweaty and my insides were going nuts. I think maybe the second and third days were the worst, but things started to settle soon after that. I drank a lot of water, ate a lot of fruit, and small meals. I took frequent walks and showers, B vitamins, and found that melatonin before bed helped with the sleeping.
In a week or two, I started to notice all sorts of things around me that I had been passing over in a blur, in a fog. Things that were simple but had such beauty and joy in them.
It was hard at the time, but nowhere near impossible. You can do hard, right? I think more than anything, I was frightened about living without alcohol. But as ReadyAndAble said, it was all part of the lie that is alcoholism. The hell was addiction, not sobriety. You'll see.
Onward with your Badass self.
In a week or two, I started to notice all sorts of things around me that I had been passing over in a blur, in a fog. Things that were simple but had such beauty and joy in them.
It was hard at the time, but nowhere near impossible. You can do hard, right? I think more than anything, I was frightened about living without alcohol. But as ReadyAndAble said, it was all part of the lie that is alcoholism. The hell was addiction, not sobriety. You'll see.
Onward with your Badass self.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Well I'm off to bed its 10 here and I'm sober. Took some panadole and have drunk a bucketload of herbal tea. Feeling off but also satisfied with my badass self. @freshstart I'm glad you commented on my thread cause I wouldn't have had a direct link to your AVRT thread it made a lot of sense to me, I like that I can own it and change it. And yes I can do hard....there was a time in my teens when I would have retreated into myself and sat rocking in a smokey,teary haze in a corner, but I'm not that person anymore. I'm not going to pretend that it's going to be easy, but I'm NOT a drinker anymore. Thanks for that lesson.
Tomorrow's another day. Thanks again everybody, will check in tomorrow.
Tomorrow's another day. Thanks again everybody, will check in tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
1) Yay! That's great news your hubby is there for you. I was so nervous to tell my husband lest he roll his eyes even once. But when he said he was there for me, I knew I had a buddy. Someone to tell, "I gotta get outta here," at social functions, and to describe all the things I go through to. An anchor at home. We built our relationship on drinking, but I asked him what he thought of the new me and he says he much prefers me now. Less self hatred and (drunk) mood swings, less laziness, more self satisfaction and realizing my goals.
2) Nuudawn: yes it's like a 'choose your own adventure' book if you stay in the present. Every experience is new. Cool
2) Nuudawn: yes it's like a 'choose your own adventure' book if you stay in the present. Every experience is new. Cool
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Hey guys its day 2, I'm feeling really tired, did not sleep well at all, feeling like my brain is buzzing and have had to take panadole for the headache that was awaiting me this morning. Muscles are a little achey, and feeling a little tense, but on the whole I'm actually feeling ok. Not sure if those symtoms are actually due to sleep deprivation or what?
Night time is always the test for me so I have been ok this morning. After dropping the kids off at school I went and bought some supplies from the chemist, suppliments for sleep, some fruit and veg, yoghurt.
@plenny, I knew that my partner would be ok, we've been through alot together, we grew up with one another, when I reflected on my reluctance to tell him, it had more to do with the fact that if I said it out loud then I suppose it made it "real" if that makes sense? I hear you about the drunk mood swings after the third bottle I would get antogonistic towards him and because I know him...I knew what buttons to push. Then morning would come and I would wonder at the stupidity of it, feel guilty and apologise. He always forgave me, but it was harder for me to forgive myself. But hey I dont tend to dwell on being a *%$# up, everyone has to live with regret right?
So glad I joined this site!!!!
Night time is always the test for me so I have been ok this morning. After dropping the kids off at school I went and bought some supplies from the chemist, suppliments for sleep, some fruit and veg, yoghurt.
@plenny, I knew that my partner would be ok, we've been through alot together, we grew up with one another, when I reflected on my reluctance to tell him, it had more to do with the fact that if I said it out loud then I suppose it made it "real" if that makes sense? I hear you about the drunk mood swings after the third bottle I would get antogonistic towards him and because I know him...I knew what buttons to push. Then morning would come and I would wonder at the stupidity of it, feel guilty and apologise. He always forgave me, but it was harder for me to forgive myself. But hey I dont tend to dwell on being a *%$# up, everyone has to live with regret right?
So glad I joined this site!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Thanks plenny, night 2 isn't going so well, my mood can only be discribed as filthy, the very few times in the past few yrs that I went one night without alcohol I would "reward" myself by getting hammered the night after, it was like Alcohol zip, me 1. Allaying any fears I might have, lying to yourself is surprisingly easy with this. Well I'm not changing my mind even thought I feel like ****. I'm going to bath my children and try to act semi normal.
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
Hey sunset
How are you going?
Aussie mum of two here..... hang in there ... keep boiling that kettle
I was the crankiest mummy in the world in that first week.
Come and see us in chat when you get the kids to sleep
Your doing great.
How are you going?
Aussie mum of two here..... hang in there ... keep boiling that kettle
I was the crankiest mummy in the world in that first week.
Come and see us in chat when you get the kids to sleep
Your doing great.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
thanks LSC1 and pinkdog, I'm doing alright I'm tense and tired and my mood has gone from anger to teary and back again, find myself having to unclench my jaw, it's really sore, but mainly I'm just tired I think.
I've just taken a supplement to hopefully have a better nights sleep tonight. But I'm not feeling tempted. I figured after lurking here that I was going to have to expect the unexpected, and that if I was going to take back what I sorely missed about myself that it would have to be all or nothing. I'm just glad that in my worst moments I can turn to SR, and all of you!
I've just taken a supplement to hopefully have a better nights sleep tonight. But I'm not feeling tempted. I figured after lurking here that I was going to have to expect the unexpected, and that if I was going to take back what I sorely missed about myself that it would have to be all or nothing. I'm just glad that in my worst moments I can turn to SR, and all of you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: oz
Posts: 164
Day 3 still sober, still didn't sleep well, think I got about five hours which is an improvement on the night before, woke up with a headache and am still grumpy but not like last night. Took my children to school this morning and on the way back to the car felt momentarily unsteady on my feet, like I wasn't walking in a straight line. Was almost at my car and was relieved to be able to sit down. Was a bit of a shock. But overall I'm happy.
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