tiny, tiny, tiny baby steps
 

Hi -

I'm a pretty standard over-achiever, HFA, and now that I'm not drinking I have this urge to DO EVERYTHING I haven't been doing and try to fix up my life as quickly as possible. But I find I get overwhelmed by just about anything. Getting through the day taking care of life's basic functions and caring for my daughter are about all I can manage. I pretty much look forward to going to sleep from the time I wake up. Is this normal? I feel like I'm just hiding from life but at the same time most things are totally new that I'm not doing them sober or hungover. Also, the mood swings! The MOOOOD swings! I'll be excited to do something and then five minutes later will need to sit on the floor and just cry. Thoughts?

These feelings are normal early in recovery. I'm on day 17 and still experiencing them.

I hear ya lala. Patience has never been my strong suit. I think we addicts are the "instant remedy/gratification" sorts. We can not cast our spell of sobriety over everything instantly and see results lickety split. Brain and body healing take time. My thoughts and moods exhaust me frequently. Sobriety is a process..not an event. I'm just over 2 months and at times kicking myself as to why I haven't learned the guitar collecting dust in my corner or written that bestselling novel...or simply learned how to be deal with everyday things.

Ya I drank heavily for about 25 years...it's unlikely I can concentrate my recovery into a short season.

Totally normal Lala :) And baby steps are essential. It can be really frustrating, especially when you are used to accomplishing so much. I am glad it wasn't just me that experienced this though. I remember telling someone in AA that I functioned better when I was drinking and they looked totally confused. I thought people quit and then started bouncing off the walls, not the other way round. Anyway, eventually it gets better, but try not to rush the process. You need time to heal x

I think it's very very normal.

Little tiny tiny baby steps are fine - as long as you're heading somewhere - you'll get better and it will get easier lala :)

D

Thanks everyone, the affirmation that I'm not alone in my craziness is so helpful!

@hypochondriac - I feel like sometimes I did function better! Although I know that's a crock of BS, I feel *really* dumb sometimes lately. HA.

Part of it was that I wouldn't allow myself to not function when I was drinking. Once I was sober I felt like I had done my bit and that I would be magically rewarded. I didn't realise I still had to work hard to improve my life. I am grateful for it now though :)