myliverbroke

Hi, I don't know if you guys have had the same experience...but since I have been sober for last 3 n half weeks...I'm loosing 'friends'.

I'm also really bored. But I'm worried about starting new experiences because I'm shy. I used the alcohol to give me confidence!

Oh what a mess to be in!

Dee74

Hi and welcome

Yeah I lost a lot of friends - but all my friends by the end loved to drink.

I did make new ones though - and reconnected with old friends where we had more in common than a shared love of booze...

I learned how to interact with people sober too - I found people who liked me for me...give it time - you will as well

D
D

Jsober

Yes, I can relate. Lots of friends fell off the face of the earth when I got sober. We had drinking in common and without that, there really was not much there.
I have been sober 2.5 years and I still have fewer friends, but the friends I have are higher quality. You are early in sobriety so just focus on that. You will have plenty of time to decipher between drinking buddies and true friends. It works itself out in time. This is a common experience for anyone getting sober so don't worry about that.

LadyinBC

Yup, not many left here either. Two really good ones. Bottom line really, had nothing in common with them other than drinking and complaining about work.

I'm just keeping it simple. Don't need the added complication of people who don't really care whether I am sober or not. I just keep people around me that are supportive.

wakko

The friends that stick with you are true friends the others were drinking buddies or alcoholics. The last thing they want to do is hang around with a sober person because it reminds them of who they are.

Even if you do not buy into AA it is a great place to meet sober people. You do not have to say a word ever but slowly or quickly you will meet people that you would like to socialize with

Anna

I think losing friends is something many of us experience. It's sad of course, and for me, it made me realize how 'fake' my life was. Become the person that you really are, and you will find new people coming into your life to support you.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR myliverbroke

I am not sure I lost my friends but they were sure freaked out by my sobriety. It didn't help that I wasn't honest with them and that I was skittish around them because I was terrified that I'd have to explain myself. I really isolated myself in early recovery but I felt like I had to in order to come to grips with it all myself. Sticking around here and long walks helped with the boredom and eventually I felt more able to get out there and socialise and make new friends. One thing I did was to ask friends out for coffee before they had the chance to ask me out for drinks. That way I had the opportunity to change our relationship before it fizzled out. You'll find lots of new friends here anyway x

JumpnOn2

The first time I quit alcohol my friends remained friends. They were either supportive or neutral. And it didn't bother me to be around them when they were consuming. Maybe I was fortunate. Still had fun, just was sober. Heck, I kept the alcohol I had to give to one of them. Yea, like he needed extra! He's been sober now for about 5 years. Mild heart attack around 50 and he played college football. When the wife and I go to cook outs, parties, etc. one would be the " driver" and the driver still had fun! The driver felt better the day after too.

zanzibar

I think you'll find your real friends are still around, it's your drinking buddies who you're losing. Be patient with yourself, shy or not you'll make new friends. You had friends before you started drinking and you're still the same person you were back then.

Real friends may come in smaller numbers than drinking buddies, but they will mean so much more to you, and you to them.

Nuudawn

I have a diverse group of friends that fortunately includes a tiny handful that either don't drink or only have one or two occasionally. Just yesterday I realized that I have been in contact or connecting with those friends so much more now. Drinking friends may abandon you as your sobriety makes them uncomfortable or you may abandon them because their drinking makes you uncomfortable...or annoys you or their conversation/activities bores you to tears now. I no longer have much in common with people who require alcohol to "light up" or "turn on" or "come alive". I used to ...cuz I needed it too.