Bubovski

My moderation from light to so called heavy lasted round 20 years.
There were even months of sobriety.
All this so called "moderate drinking'' required much artificial control.
Through out I was miserable, depressed, lethargic, and lacking interest.
Reduction was a farce; I was an alcoholic trying to self medicate the disease
with that which cunningly simply kept it simmering.
After all that time I crashed badly again....

LadyBlue0527

I didn't even know that there was such a thing. I'm glad that I didn't know about it until after deciding to quit. It would have just delayed the inevitable. Besides, when something that we "supposedly" becomes work what's the point?

I am slowly realizing that the further removed I am the more I realize that where my early days of drinking were fun that the final days were definitely not.

LadyBlue0527

Hi Nomis, that's really what the poll is all about. It's one of the most asked questions from newcomers. I thought it would be helpful rather than having to read posts in threads to also see a count. It kind of puts it right there in your face.

However, I wish that I had worded the question differently. It should have read

Have you been able to moderate successfully long term and relieved yourself from the decision of having to quit.

I didn't think it through. However, I'm intrigued that 6 people have posted that they have but not told us how. I have to wonder how honest the answer is.

BabyJane

As I have heard it explained (and this goes for me) :

When I controlled it I didn't enjoy it and when I enjoyed it I didn't control it.

I drank for effect; period. I drank to get drunk. I had fun being 'out of control' in my younger years. Then it caught up to me. Blackouts. Woke up in the hospital with my ankles and wrists slit wide open and no memory of WHY I had done this. I lost friends. Lost a great job. Wrecked a car. Had to move away from the home I loved. Lost beloved pets. Lost all self respect and hope. Got arrested.

Still I tried over and over to moderate thinking I could get back to those days when it was fun! I tried everything; different kinds of booze, booze with drugs, booze only on certain days / times, only drinking alone, only drinking at social events, etc.

None of it worked. In the end, I had to learn the VERY hard way that I COULD NOT MODERATE! No way!

Now alcohol has been out of my life for over three years. I am so grateful. Things haven't been perfect but they are a hundred times better than they were when king alcohol ruled my life.

Bubovski

At my age and long drinking long term dis-ease I really don't feel I have time to ponder the issue further. Moderation, even if I could, for what good purpose?
For me any elation from a couple simply spurred the desire for more, with minimal usage providing no worthwhile value in any perceivable area.

tomsteve

seems strange that there would be moderating drinkers on soberrecovery.com.

LadyBlue0527

I agree, I think I worded the poll wrong

It only stands to reason that if someone was moderating long term and having success that they probably wouldn't be here. You never know though. Without input we have nothing. The data for the Y's is really useless.

EternalQ

I'm with Murch. I'm too old to play. I don't have time for my recovery to be a dress rehearsel.
Why should I play anyway? Alcohol don't play.

KristyCat

The thing is, if drinking in moderation is so important to you so that you can still keep drinking, then you are an alcoholic. A non-alcoholic person doesn't really mind or care if they are able to drink in moderation or not.

Also just want to reiterate here the fact that an alcoholic's brain is physiologically incapable of drinking in moderation. Our brain chemistry has irreversibly changed, strong neural pathways have been set. They can weaken over time with long-term sobreity but they will always be there. There really is no going back. It is not a "choice" for an alcoholic, it literally is not possible.

soberbythesea

No, I can't moderate. As my husband put it, "You don't have a throttle."

I've tried many times, and have put a lot of thought and effort into the way I tried to do it, and still over time it never worked. I would always find a way to rationalize breaking the rules I set for myself.

In my very early days, I was a lighter drinker (I am talking 10 or 15 years ago, before I really started to drink like an alcoholic), but that changed long ago. For the reasons KristyCat explained above, I know that there is no going back.

Sobriety is the only way forward for me. I'm thankful every day that I've reached a place where I'm finally able to accept that.

jojoreese

I usually start with good intentions and only have a few. Next thing I know, I'm driving to get more (dangerous and stupid action) so that I can achieve the drunk feeling I crave. Moderation doesn't work for me.

Ptcapote

I think it's a great poll, LadyBlue and I can understand why you started it. For me, when I first came on here, I wanted more than anything for someone, anyone, to tell me that they had successfully moderated, even though all of my attempts had been failures.

So I think it is good for a newcomer to see that mostly everyone here---from those newly sober to those with years or even decades of recovery---has had the same experience (93% when I last looked at the poll, I think?). Like Dee said, it's a damn good cross sample of our population here.

In the end I was also not drinking to enjoy it, I was drinking because I wanted to get drunk. There was no in-between that was anything short of torture. Two beers? Torture. Less than a bottle of wine? Torture.

Two great lines in the above posts: EQ said, "I don't have time for my recovery to be a dress rehearsal" and soberbythesea said her husband told her "You don't have a throttle."

Yep, those two lines about sum it up perfectly about where I was and where I am now.

Thanks for this, I think it is a good thing

deeker

What she said,

LadyinBC

I tried to moderate myself over and over again. Never worked. It didn't work because I loved getting drunk and that was my ultimate goal. Once I started that was it. However, it took me awhile to admit this to myself.

ReadyAtLast

Hi LB.I don't think you did word it wrong

I think precisely because some people have put yes yet are even on SR and have NOT explained maybe shows their answers might not be strictly true.

Mmmmm an alcoholic lying to themselves and trying to convince themselves of something that's not possible............?

TopFlight

I'm an all or nothing type person with a lot of things. It just wouldn't work out for me.

Grungehead

Yeah it probably should have said:

"Were you ever able to successfully live in denial about moderating long term?"

I actually went a month one time drinking 2 beers a day. I was so miserable that the next day I got really, really, really drunk. I think I was trying to catch up from the entire previous month in one night. That was in my early years before I admitted that I had a problem. My last run lasted for 8 years and moderation of any type at any time was not an option. I drank every day of those 8 years with the exception of about a 6 week period when I had open heart surgery. Shortly after that surgery I went from drinking every day to drinking ALL DAY every day. When you look in the dictionary for the antonym of moderation, there is a picture of me in there.

wakko

Moderation makes no sense to me. Two drinks is not even a good start. 2 bottles of wine, 2 six packs, 2 pints. Now we are talking my kind of moderation

tomsteve

ya don't like playin Russian roulette anymore??

silentrun

I wasn't always an alcoholic. There was a time I drank normally. I drank in moderation but I didn't consciously moderate. Now there is no way I could moderate. I didn't answer yes to that poll, but maybe that what a couple of those yes answers where.