meandhim

my husband and I are struggling-- he thinks all is fine--I think--I am scared of losing him and tend to 'go along'-- things are ok now-- but can see how they can spiral out of control quickly-- he is a strong msn, use to his way-- am fearful I can be 'sucked in'-- how do I protect myself

Nighthawk8820

you have to put yourself first.........you know what you need and should stop putting yourself second. Why are you with him? It sounds almost like you are afraid of him, which is not a sign of a healthy relationship that will allow you to grow and prosper.

Isaiah

Hello.

How to protect yourself... I guess knowing little about the situation, I think one way of having some security with close relationships like a marriage is just to have a clearly defined boundary of what it is you do not want to do yourself. When things are left open, and the other person is persuasive or likes to control a situation it leaves an ambiguous space where the line can be drawn or redrawn--sometimes against what is best for us.

I don't know if that makes much sense to you or for your situation.

There's also a forum here just below this newcomer section for friends & family. There you can find people who are specifically dealing with marital relationships.

Hope you find the answers you're looking for. Best,

Iz

DisplacedGRITS

you may want to check out AlAnon. you aren't born with the knowledge of how to live with a drinker, in recovery or not. it's hard to know where the line is and how to protect yourself from stepping over it or what to do when he does. i'm an alcoholic so i don't know a lot except to tell you to seek the advice of people who have dealt with a situation like yours. you're not alone. you don't have to be alone. there are people who can help you if you reach out to them.