Anybody have any luck with moderation?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 117
Anybody have any luck with moderation?
I have had some issues with overdoing it for the past several years. I was wondering if there is anyone that's had any success with moderation and alcohol. I am pretty happy with myself because in the last week I've had maybe five drinks, no more than two at a time, and was hoping I'd be able to maintain this.
I heard once that after two drinks is the best that you're going to feel. Any more, and it goes downhill, so that's been my mantra and it seems to be working. It's only been a week, though, so I was curious about longer term.
I heard once that after two drinks is the best that you're going to feel. Any more, and it goes downhill, so that's been my mantra and it seems to be working. It's only been a week, though, so I was curious about longer term.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 5
Hi Celticgirl. I've had instances of moderation, but never long term. I always tell myself "I'll stop after the third drink" but I never do. The conversations will start, a new friend is made and I'll drink until I'm wasted. I wish for moderation as a goal, but I know it's not realistic.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
If you are not an alcoholic you should be able to drink "normally" and well within moderate bounds. If...
I drank over 35 years. My first ten years were characterized by excessive drinking, the next ten years by moderation. After that, I struggled. Knew I was drinking too much...didn't want to stop. And while I think I maintained the facade of control and moderation, inevitably I lost control and alcohol took command.
I wish you better luck.
I drank over 35 years. My first ten years were characterized by excessive drinking, the next ten years by moderation. After that, I struggled. Knew I was drinking too much...didn't want to stop. And while I think I maintained the facade of control and moderation, inevitably I lost control and alcohol took command.
I wish you better luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 48
I have been wondering the same thing.
I have been able to moderate myself in the past - but it seems that there is no rhyme or reason to when. I take account of the situation -- how am I feeling? is it a social situation? why am I drinking? did I eat dinner?
but in all seriousness, I can't figure it out. This is what makes me nervous about thinking I can moderate.
I have been able to moderate myself in the past - but it seems that there is no rhyme or reason to when. I take account of the situation -- how am I feeling? is it a social situation? why am I drinking? did I eat dinner?
but in all seriousness, I can't figure it out. This is what makes me nervous about thinking I can moderate.
Faith and reason
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: London
Posts: 941
Welcome Celticgirl. Once I started obsessing about drinking and having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I was rarely able to moderate. I believe that by the age of 18 I was drinking alcoholically. On the rare occasions I was able to moderate, I wouldn't enjoy it. In the end, it was all or nothing. If I didn't get completely drunk, I was left unsatisfied, anxious and obsessing about whether to drink more or not. In the end I just found it easier to quit. For me, abstaining completely is less hassle and more fulfilling than limiting myself to one or two drinks, but that's because I'm an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
There's no"moderation"for me.
It's either full blown stumbling drunk or nothing.
After going 14 month I tried to drink socially again.No way,back to full blown drunkeness in less than two months.
And I'll even say I got worse!
So for me,I have to say goodbye forever to alcohol.Or end up in that place that many of us know about.
***FWIW,that is what my AV says to me almost every day after so many weeks sober.
"You can moderate now".
It's either full blown stumbling drunk or nothing.
After going 14 month I tried to drink socially again.No way,back to full blown drunkeness in less than two months.
And I'll even say I got worse!
So for me,I have to say goodbye forever to alcohol.Or end up in that place that many of us know about.
***FWIW,that is what my AV says to me almost every day after so many weeks sober.
"You can moderate now".
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Nope!
I could slow my drinking down, but ultimately it was a losing battle because I was thinking about it a lot. Took energy away from living life.
If you are calculating how many drinks you are having on certain days and how many per week, ask yourself, honestly, if this is worth it? Aren't you thinking about this a lot?
Many people won't quit until they have enough bad experiences. I wish I'd quit entirely sooner. My life is better, I waste less energy on alcohol. Just my experience.
I haven't had a drink in almost 3 years, and I don't intend to ever again. And...I don't miss it anymore either.
I could slow my drinking down, but ultimately it was a losing battle because I was thinking about it a lot. Took energy away from living life.
If you are calculating how many drinks you are having on certain days and how many per week, ask yourself, honestly, if this is worth it? Aren't you thinking about this a lot?
Many people won't quit until they have enough bad experiences. I wish I'd quit entirely sooner. My life is better, I waste less energy on alcohol. Just my experience.
I haven't had a drink in almost 3 years, and I don't intend to ever again. And...I don't miss it anymore either.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
No luck. Tried, failed eventually every time.
Given that there's no "one size fits all" definition for people who have or had problems with alcohol, I'm not against the idea of moderation. I would only make a couple suggestions to anyone who attempts it.
1. Does the amount you drink in moderation make you satisfied? A lot of people, especially on this forum, have come here while trying moderation. Often they'll say they've been able to moderate for a week, two weeks... But to me, it seems irrelevant whether or not one is *able* to moderate, but what matters is was that moderation able to provide satisfaction without stress? This is where moderation seems to fail in my opinion. People will be proud that they held back, but also say how tempted and urged they were to drink more. People who can drink responsibly don't have to approach drinking as a challenge to be solved.
2. Given that moderation tends to have a pretty low rate of success over a long period of time, there's also the question of what one is really sacrificing by quitting overall. Really asking yourself why you need to find a method to continue drinking is something I think any would-be moderator should undertake. Most the answers I've heard have been akin to "I need alcohol to be social" or "I need alcohol to cope with stress." To me that's still dependency. Also, using alcohol to cope with life situations rarely is going to conveniently work out with an established quota.
SR doesn't have a real presence of people in active alcohol moderation. Just about everyone here is in full-on abstinence. Personally, I hope you feel welcomed here regardless of your choices and hope that we're able to provide some insight for you.
Given that there's no "one size fits all" definition for people who have or had problems with alcohol, I'm not against the idea of moderation. I would only make a couple suggestions to anyone who attempts it.
1. Does the amount you drink in moderation make you satisfied? A lot of people, especially on this forum, have come here while trying moderation. Often they'll say they've been able to moderate for a week, two weeks... But to me, it seems irrelevant whether or not one is *able* to moderate, but what matters is was that moderation able to provide satisfaction without stress? This is where moderation seems to fail in my opinion. People will be proud that they held back, but also say how tempted and urged they were to drink more. People who can drink responsibly don't have to approach drinking as a challenge to be solved.
2. Given that moderation tends to have a pretty low rate of success over a long period of time, there's also the question of what one is really sacrificing by quitting overall. Really asking yourself why you need to find a method to continue drinking is something I think any would-be moderator should undertake. Most the answers I've heard have been akin to "I need alcohol to be social" or "I need alcohol to cope with stress." To me that's still dependency. Also, using alcohol to cope with life situations rarely is going to conveniently work out with an established quota.
SR doesn't have a real presence of people in active alcohol moderation. Just about everyone here is in full-on abstinence. Personally, I hope you feel welcomed here regardless of your choices and hope that we're able to provide some insight for you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 104
I can only speak for myself. If I had to moderate, there was problem an issue. The moderation management program requires a 30 day abstinence period and then moderation. For me, it gave me permission to drink and have it in the house. It doesn't matter how much I was drinking but the questions to ask are: has it caused problems with family, work, legally or personally.
There is a message board for the group.
The person who founded it ended up killing 2 people while drunk driving.
Moderation vs. Abstinence: What's More Effective? | The Fix
You just have to find out on your own.
There is a message board for the group.
The person who founded it ended up killing 2 people while drunk driving.
Moderation vs. Abstinence: What's More Effective? | The Fix
You just have to find out on your own.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
I think that if you're having to manage your drinking, you're already an alcoholic. Like many others, I tried moderation and was determined to make it work. It would only work briefly and then I'd find myself worse off than ever. It's really easier for an alcoholic to quit drinking than to moderate drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
I tried the moderation thing but got sick of the voice in my head rationalizing the amount of booze I was drinking, calculating this and that, telling me one more wasn't going to hurt me, you don't have a problem. Before I knew it that voice was starting to have way too much control over me.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
People who don't need to moderate don't even think about it. Once you're trying to control your drinking it's already controlling you
For me,yes i could moderate sometimes but never really wanted to as always wanted another drink. Some times I just couldn't moderate and I never knew when those times would be. All the effort, planning, thinking of times,drinks, meausures etc etc is too much effort. Since quitting I don't have to keep thinking about drinking and not drinking all the time
For me,yes i could moderate sometimes but never really wanted to as always wanted another drink. Some times I just couldn't moderate and I never knew when those times would be. All the effort, planning, thinking of times,drinks, meausures etc etc is too much effort. Since quitting I don't have to keep thinking about drinking and not drinking all the time
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
After 18+ months of sobriety I decided to try to moderate. Within 3 weeks I was right back where I started ( ended ), if not worse. My "experiment" failed miserably. Trust me, the 'Kindling Effect' is REAL! I am once again happily sober, going on 8 months this go round! This time for good
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by gigi0310 
The person who founded it ended up killing 2 people while drunk driving.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I had little ability to moderate as it was a "sober intention". A couple glasses of wine and the booze was in my bloodstream shooting to my brain. The intention went out the window. Suddenly I was a teenager defying my "overreacting" inner parent : )
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
I was never able to moderate. I tried for 25 years and never figured it out. I would drink 2 and the sincerely ask myself if I could stop. Confident in my answer of yes, I would then feel it was OK to drink many more...since I could have stopped if I really wanted to. Moderation always failed me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Woodstock,New York
Posts: 140
NONE,AND ID ONLY BE LYING IF I SAID I'VE TRIED IT AND IT WORKED. Most people that I know that have addictive personalities can not moderate anything,myself totally included! I'm so scared of relapse I'm afraid to think of what might happen if I attempted to moderate...best of luck to you!!!!
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